Lesson 4: Coping strategies - the physical aspects

Every Day Coping Tips from Fellow Fibromites

Be prepared - there are a lot of good tips in this section, so you may be scrolling down several screens. We'll start with basic comfort - clothing and sleeping to accommodate swelling and our erratic perception of heat and cold, and then progress to many helpful basic hints about coping with every day life.

Getting Comfortable It's not really very obvious, but people with fibro tend to accumulate a little bit of fluid during the day all over their bodies. Have you ever noticed that a bra, or the waistband of your skirt or slacks feels fine when you put them on, but unbearably irritating by the end of the day? It happened to me constantly until I discovered the swelling problem. Then I started to change some of the things I wore and it really helped.

• Underwear For instance - if I'm not going out (or if I'll be wearing a coat or sweater) I ditch the old underwire bra in favor of something called a "bralette" or "bralet" (depending on the maker) which is a bit like a more refined looking sports bra - it has camisole straps and doesn't seem to put the pressure on my shoulders that sports bras can. Even at the end of a long day they feel good. For the same reason, boxer style shorts can be more comfortable than traditional brief or bikini style panties - fewer places where they bind.

• Waistlines Drawstring waists are also good as you can adjust them throughout the day. Snaps you can't do much with, but button waists can be temporarily adjusted.

  Loop a rubber band through the buttonhole and around the button to give you some relief from pressure (I learned that from a woman not quite ready for maternity clothing and it's a great tip even for non-swelling times when what you want to wear is a wee bit tight in the waist. After a big dinner is when my husband values it.)

• Overall style tips In general try to get loose fitting clothing that doesn't bind anywhere. One class member told me that she haunted thrift shops and online auctions for 40s style silk pajamas. The fabric felt good, she was comfortable and yet they were sophisticated enough that she could wear them out to the store or out to eat.

  My own tactic was to go ethnic - one size fits all Moroccan style clothing - all bias cut and loose and very comfortable, or the Indian tunics and pants with the drawstring waist. Flattering - they hide a multitude of sins - and comfortable.

• Coats and jackets If I can get away with it, I wear a "sweater coat" because it is warm and almost weightless. Once again, the heavier the material the more it weighs you down and the more it leads to aches and pains. Wear a heavy coat and you get fatigued very quickly on shopping trips.

  Here is my one exception to the "natural fabric" rule. There are new fabrics like Polar Fleece and Thermal Fleece and new microfiber material for coats that are nearly weightless but quite warm - even on very cold days. Down is also good and light but warm.

• Fabric choices But when in doubt, one size fits most clothing is perfect for anyone who is going to change size during the day. And get fabrics that feel good against your skin. There are days when our skin can get easily irritated and we don't need one more irritation adding to everything else. Natural fabrics and soft ones are best. They breathe instead of trapping perspiration and so generally feel more comfortable.

  Ideal fabrics are

  • raw silk (not the shiny stuff - for some reason, perhaps the tight weave, that doesn't breathe well, but raw silk is nubby and quite good for the purpose),
  • merino wool (other wools can be great if you don't get easily irritated but many people who can't wear most wools are comfortable in merino - no little itchy hairs.),
  • cotton (crinkle cotton and French terry are especially good),
  • linen or a linen/cotton blend,
  • rayon (yes - rayon is a natural fabric, made from cellulose which is a wood product),
  • down
  • cashmere and
  • alpaca.

  OK - so some of these seem expensive. You can find bargains. Try resale shops. I got my first cashmere sweater at one for $6. Try the eBay auctions and with a bit of patience you can find amazing bargains. Try overstock and outlets for online stores - I have listed a few at the end of this section. Believe me - you can wear and use luxury fabrics for less than you would pay for the cheaper stuff if you shop right. One of my blankets is cashmere, and another is quilted down - and I paid less for both than for the electric blanket in our guest room.

• Accommodating our "broken thermostats Also - dress in layers. Fibromites all have broken internal thermostats. We can be hot and sweating when everyone else is shivering, or freezing as they are opening windows due to the heat. I start with something light and layer a jacket-type blouse or tunic over that and then keep a sweater or sweater coat handy and just peel things on and off as needed. Remember - natural fabrics!

• Hose and stockings I also went for longer length skirts - long enough that I threw away all my panty hose because they got really uncomfortable - and if I MUST wear "nylons" I can use knee highs. If I'm cold I can wear thick socks and not look too weird since most of them don't show. Skirts are less binding than slacks and with the longer length I can move with freedom, or sit the way I like without "modesty" concerns.

  Wool socks are great for warmth and cotton is also good. You can get knee high stockings in opaque colors that are primarily cotton, too. Easier both on the thermostat and on the balls of your feet where synthetic nylon material can create friction. The trick for us is to eliminate any source of discomfort possible.

• As for shoes - sometimes FMS can lead to painful feet. Buy good shoes - the best you can afford - that have good foot support. But make absolutely sure that they fit well and are comfortable. Don't get stiff shoes - soft, crushable leather or even fabric is good because your feet will also swell. Go for a low heel unless you have a problem with the backs of your legs feeling a bit stretched (which is a symptom common to some fibromites) - in that case a slight heel - a wedge, perhaps - can relieve some of that pressure.

• Purses And don't forget the purse. These can be responsible for a lot of aching if you insist on dragging your life with you when you go out. Try to get used to a small lightweight purse and to carry only the necessities - wallet, keys, a comb, your checkbook.

  If you must carry more, get a tote bag that you can slip a small purse into. Leave the tote in the car unless you absolutely need something in it, and go with the least weight you can get away with carrying. A heavy purse is pulling your whole body off balance and is one reason you may find shopping and other outings so exhausting.

NIGHT TIME

• Night clothing When dressing for bed - a place where comfort is of the utmost because we really need a good sleep - don't wear heavy flannels because if you get too hot you'll wake and may even interrupt sleep to take them off. Instead wear something midweight in a natural, breathable fabric.

• Dressing the bed And dress the bed itself in layers. Cotton sheets, or a linen blend if you can find it at a reasonable cost (hint: try Overstock.com where you can sometimes find them at 75% off) - not synthetics. You need natural fabrics that breathe or you get trapped in a sweat bath when you start feeling too warm. Bottom sheet is the most important as you may find you prefer something other than a sheet directly over you.

• Bed Toppers (as in bedspreads, comforters, etc.) The best possible topper is a down blanket or comforter because they do seem to adjust to our body temperature. Try to get one baffled in a square pattern so the down doesn't shift. Lacking that, get a wool blanket if possible, or if you tend to usually be too hot, one in cotton. (Fabrics that breathe and don't trap sweat.)

  My best buy ever was a splurge - a cashmere throw, not quite twin bed size but plenty big to cover me and I layer this under my down blanket on cold nights but it's small enough to pull off and easily pull back on - if I get too hot and then cold again. (Found it on overstock.com too - for less than an electric blanket, but it feels way better and works better for someone whose body temp is so changeable.)

• More on fabric choices for fibromites Recent studies have shown that fibromites tend to sleep better with something slightly rough against their skin - so forget the expensive 300 thread count sheets and go for the inexpensive, low thread count cotton. It's also why I recommended wool for the blanket. Or at least a bottom sheet should have a tiny bit of roughness to it. I'm not sure why this is true but I know I found myself craving terry cloth night clothing at one point and it worked.(When I say rough I don't mean scratchy. Just textured a bit instead if totally smooth.Flannel sheets, a blanket without sheet, etc.)

• Sources For excellent prices on some of these things try
  • Overstock,com or
  • Smart Bargains - both of which offer some truly good deals on bedding and sometimes shoes, purses and clothing as well.
  • Coldwater Creek Outlet for clothing and some bedding.
  • If you have the patience the best bargains of all can be found on eBay which is actually where I get most of my clothing and good, buttery soft leather Italian shoes for which I rarely pay more than $10. Some good vendors for cashmere include jdbok, ragman55 and mjones@sinclair.net (just do a search by seller. You'll be surprised at the cashmere available at $20 and under. And these are just the ones I've found on my own - there are more. A bit of patience and you can wear the best possible fibrofabrics and afford them.

  Household Tips
  

  • Get a small voice recorder to carry with you.
  • Pace yourself when doing your tasks. Take frequent breaks.
  • Organize closets and cabinets so that the heavy and most frequently used items are easy to reach - between middle of thighs and shoulder high.
  • Set time limits to finish a task. For example - clean a closet for just 30 minutes a day until finished.
  • Pliers with cushioned handles will help for any jobs you need some leverage with.
  • After washing your venetian blinds, dry with a sheet of bounce and there will be no more static or dust. Works well on computer and TV screens too.
  • Use a floor mop with a angled handle to make the job of washing floors easier on your back.
  • There are brooms out there now with a nice cushioned grip on the handles.
  • "Simple Green" to clean greasy surfaces. Use straight and needs no effort or elbow grease.
  • Lots of shelves and a folding table at waist level in the laundry room will help with the bending and lifting.
  • Using a paint brush makes it easier to dust pleated lampshades and any dusting of crevices or small details.
  • "The Quicker Picker Upper" paper towels that come in a box is very handy to keep in your car. Be careful when buying because you can get them mixed up with the Kleenex boxes.
  • Liquid dish washing soap as a spot remover works wonders on shirt collars, hair brushes and combs.
  • Plastic storage boxes are handy to use as bins for those deep bottom shelves and just slide out easily. Store the lid on end next to box so not to misplace it.
  • Cooking oil will get the sticky residue off left from a label on a non porous surface. Be careful when using products that are sold for this purpose as they can ruin the finish. Hair dryers do the job as well.
  • Swiffer Alert! Swiffer Mitts are especially good for cleaning vertical blinds. The Swiffer dry or wet mops works wonders too.
  • Pledge and Scotch Brite also have cleaning mitts and are washable for re-use as shaking them does not get all the dust out.
  • "Wipe-Ups" are super for a quick clean up in the bathroom. The wet towels are thick, don't tear or shred while using them.
  • Baskets for storing magazines, art supplies etc. are easy to move around and look decorative.
  • If your cat likes to hang out around your computer keep a lint roller on hand to keep the dust and hair in control.
  • Use paper or foam plates, bowls or cups.
  • Old toothbrushes are very useful for cleaning awkward areas and small items.

  Kitchen Tips
  

• For jar opening, try either a latex dish washing glove or use a 5" square piece of that new rubberized shelf liner.
• Don't do a lot of scrubbing on pots, just leave to soak until all is soft and can be rinsed away.
• Line the oven with foil and the elements with foil liners. Put the rings to sit in hot water and dishwasher detergent. Wipe clean.
• To keep a bowl from moving around on the table or counter top while mixing, place a damp cloth or piece of rubber shelf liner underneath it.
• There are also plastic bowls with rubber rings attached to the bottom of the bowls.
• If you must peel potatoes get the larger ones as they are easier to hold onto.
• Use a muffin pan to serve cold drinks no slipping and you can carry up to 12 at a time!
• Extra heavy duty mixers with the 4 or 5 quart mixing bowls work really well for mixing up meat loaf, cookie and bread dough etc.
• Bread machines are nice if you prefer "homemade" breads.
• Use pre-cut veggies, meats, cheeses etc. for those really "bad" days when we have to cook.
• A great idea for putting away clean laundry into different rooms and your dishes to and from the dishwasher is to consider getting a wheeled cart w/shelves. Discount stores have them reasonably priced, just look for them in the closet or laundry area.
• Scrub a dirty skillet by putting water into skillet, a few drops of liquid soap and bring to a boil. Clean with a kitchen brush with brass wire, if non stick use a soft bristled brush.
• To open those zipper like seals on plastic milk jugs, put the tine of a fork into one of the holes or spaces. Then put the curved part of the fork on the edge of the cap and roll it to the flat part of the cap. Pulls the band right off and no broken fingernails.
• Running hot water on a bottle lid will help loosen if it is gummed up or stuck.
• Use a nutcracker to open those small bottles like vanilla extract.
• To get the tab started on drink cans and you don't have one of those fancy openers -use a metal teaspoon to lift up the edge.
• An electric can opener instead of struggling with those manual ones is quicker and easier.
• Want to remember what is in the recesses of your fridge and cupboards? Attach a erasable message board on your fridge door, list the food items and date them. Also date your canned goods and spices.
• A bar chair with a back and wheels is very helpful when having to be at the kitchen counter for long periods.

Personal Tips

• Parking your car and remembering where is made easier by always to park in the same row at your usual stops. In unfamiliar stops take notice of landmarks, row number sign etc. or write down your location.
• A small voice recorder is also handy to use.
• Buy shoes with Velcro straps or try the curly elastic shoe laces.
• Rough up the handle of your toothbrush to make it easier to grasp. There are toothbrushes now with a special angled handle.
• Jackets with zippers or Velcro - forget about buttons.
• Look into getting a metal utensil set to keep with you when out at a picnic or barbecue if you have trouble using the plastic forks and knifes. The knife and fork should be sharp for easier cutting and handling.

Christmas Tips

• Shop using the catalogues.

• Online shopping is very popular now. The presents will be delivered to your door and sometimes even wrapped.

• Pop glass votives in the freezer for a couple of hours and this will help removing any wax easily.

• Please remember to ask for help getting all those decorations out. This also makes the job fun to have someone to share opening up the boxes with.

• Maybe have a smaller tree, it is simpler to decorate. There are even ones out with lights and already decorated.

• Remember to pace yourself, relax, put your feet up in between decorating and maybe have a drink of your choice.

• Hire a house cleaner for a day to do some of the harder chores like vacuuming, washing floors, scrubbing and polishing the bathroom(s), cleaning the oven etc. It is well worth the money.

• Divide the decorating tasks and chores letting family members help.

• Use Christmas bags and tissue instead of wrapping individual presents. These bags come in all different sizes can be re-used and put out for decorations too.

• Have a "down with decorations party," no drinks until finish.