Lesson 4: Coping strategies - the physical aspects
Making Lists to Make Things Easier
Fibro people forget things. If you have an idea, think of something you need at the store - whatever - learn to write it down. Here are some other lists you will find helpful in coping.
- Hard as it may be, the first thing we need to do is maintain a positive attitude. I know it sounds hokey but it's crucial. The good things are so easy to forget when we feel bad that you need a real reminder. When you're depressed you hurt more and handle that pain badly. Accentuate the positive; you'll find the pain is easier to manage as well. And above all - do NOT feel guilty if you find that you can no longer do as much as you once did. It is not your fault. You should only feel guilty for those things that you can control and don't.
How can we stay positive? First look around at your life. What can you be grateful for? It could be an understanding spouse or friends. It could be that fibro allows you to escape from a job that was becoming too difficult to maintain. You now have a chance to make a new life. Maybe it's the pleasure of cuddling with the family cat. It may be a list of small pleasures - but they are important to your well-being. Write as complete a list as you can come up with (you can always add to it later) and post it where you can refer to it on bad days.
- While we're making lists, make one of things you enjoy doing. Your body will force you to take time-outs. Remember when you wanted them and couldn't justify them? Now you can. (Add that to your blessings list!) Bad days are usually foggy ones when we can't seem to remember what we enjoy. The list will help.
- Learn to let go. What really must be done daily, weekly, etc.? Which can slide until you can cope? Be practical. You can't do it all and may need help. You can't let it all slide, either. Can someone else run some of the errands, take over the laundry or some of the cooking? Can you live with a bit of dust and clutter? If you can reassign duties or make a chore schedule that will help. While you're at it make a list of favorite take-out places or restaurants that deliver for days when the fatigue is just too much.
- De-clutter!. Much of our feeling that our homes are out of control come because there is so much clutter surrounding us that cleaning seems overhwelming. Get rid of those things that no longer please you, fit you, or are useful. Toss them, donate them to the Goodwill, or give them away - but get them out of your way. The more clear space you have the easier it is to clean. The more room in drawers and cupboards the easier it is to put things away. And finding things also becomes easier. Need help? Do yourself a favor and join Fly Lady - a routine that has worked wonders for me and many other fibromites. OK - so her routine may be a bit hokey to some of you - the system works!
- If you're employed - do you need to work? Does your company have disability benefits? Is there some other type of work that would be easier for you? Can you arrange to telecommute? Make a list of all your options. Keep at it - options have a way of changing and expanding if you're open to them.
- Keep track of your good days and see if you can't discover what you did different to make it a good day. More exercise? A new medication? A hot bath? Look at the bad days and see if anything you did may have contributed to them. See if the things you eat may in any way contribute to your feeling good or bad. If you have Chinese food three times this month and have bad days the next day three times you're getting a clue. Tracking things this way will allow you to modify your behavior to encourage more good days than bad.
