After A Long Hard Day At Work

Top 2. Apr 19, 2000 6:48 PM

» Maureen Fleury - A Wild Ride

I don't think I could keep up your pace--working and going to school. I just hope you don't burn out. It must be hard for your husband as well, working nights and then caring for your daughter.

If don't think a trip to Kansas is going to help, try calling Mary Poppins! I wish I had her at my house.

-- posted by Maureen Fleury

Top 3. Aug 29, 2000 4:53 PM

» Suz2 - Husband should pitch in!

I don't mean to be rude but why doesn't your husband help out? I am currently "running" my household due to my husband's busy job, but when I was in school and working full time with 2 small children, he did his fair share. There is no reason you should come home to an unfed and dirty child. Can't you compromise and say he do the bath while you fix dinner or vice versa. Goodluck, we working mother's have 2 full time jobs!

-- posted by Suz2

Top 4. Oct 7, 2000 10:00 PM

» HelgaSW - Long hard working day

my only hope is that this time will pass soon for you and that you can breathe a bit easier. Can anyone help you out..i.e. a mother's helper so that you can take a nap or bath? Also, never underestimate the instant family feeling that chinese food delivered to your door can offer simply in time saved.

-- posted by HelgaSW

Top 5. Jan 1, 2001 9:19 PM

» tim_smith - Attitude of entitlement

Hi,

I have a question about an attitude that I have experienced all to often from my girlfriends that I have had. It seems that every girl that I've ever been with has an attitude that they determine the "exchange", or the way things should be in a relationship. One girl wanted to be a stay at home mom, period...no negotiation. My job was to be the husband, the dad, the person that earned to money and provided, her job was to care for the house and the kids. It was a universe centered around her.

My current girlfriend at first was really cool...she was more interested in 50/50...we share paying for dates, we share responsibilities, etc. But as we talk about marriage, all of a sudden, she's going to be a stay at home mom and find "freelance" work where she can work from the beach as a web developer. Her mom will move near by, her son will be named Nick, she has the whole thing figured out...funny, I don't recall contributing to any of these ideas. Keep in mind, she's a nice girl, we get along great, we have a great relationship...but it's amazing how she has everything all figured out. Is this true for most women? That they already have the vision of the future, and all they need to do is find a man that can provide this? Does it matter who I am as a person..does my vision matter?

-- posted by tim_smith

Top 6. Dec 16, 2004 9:19 AM

» dgarhartcfamhc - Oh! I know how you feel.

I was just discussing this exact subject with a co-worker. Why does it seem to our husbands that their 8 hours is worth more than ours. I am the bread winner of my household (I am also a nurse), and when I get home, the first question is: What is for dinner??????. Sometimes I want to tell them, my son and husband, to pretend that I was never here. What would you normally do if you were hungry??? Why is it constantly my responsibility??? Here let me work full time and then come home and do anything to make your life easier. After all, I guess that is why I was put on this planet???? Being a woman does not entitle me everyone's maid, chef, alarm clock, lunch fixer, financial director, purse, taxi and etc. I have no answers.--Dawn

-- posted by dgarhartcfamhc

Top 7. Dec 16, 2004 5:02 PM

» Maureen Fleury - Re: Oh! I know how you feel.

In response to Oh! I know how you feel. posted by dgarhartcfamhc:

Hi Dawn:
Oh boy, do I ever feel for you and I totally get the big picture. I went through that about 12 years ago when my 3 kids were pre-schoolers. My husband (now my EX - no surprise), was off work for a couple of years after a breakdown. I worked full time and did everything around the house. I even sent my kids to daycare and spent almost half my pay. My husband was totally unreliable.

It took me about 2 years to realize that he was the biggest kid of them all. He would not accept responsibility and I got the same thing as you -- what's for supper, where's my clean clothes? His biggest and worst habit was trying to shame me if the house was not 100% clean.

The light bulb finally went on and I realized that I couldn't handle a 4th kid. I was doing all the parenting and housekeeping jobs and was getting increasingly hostile towards my husband. In frustration, I left him.

I tried going on strike but it seems that I ended up cleaning a worse mess in the house. I even stopped eating supper and said I was not hungry and made my husband fix his own food. Then of course, he would start ragging to his parents and they would hassle me in person or on the phone. They are very old fashioned and think that a woman should do all the housework and parenting even if she works full time. They couldn't see my reason that with my husband home all day, he should be doing the chores.

I'm not suggesting that you do what I did but I wanted to share how I feel for what you are going through.

If the tables were turned and I was home all day and my husband was working, I would see no problem in taking care of the household. I don't know if it's their upbringing or fear of their peers.

Have you tried counselling? Whether it be for the two of you or a support group for yourself?

-- posted by Maureen Fleury