Wife-Descipline and Spanking

» marriedlady123 - to attitude

I really like how you describe about having more responsibilities and liking your husband to be dominant in your relationship, that is pretty much how it is with us. It seems to make me less resentful of having more responsibilities also.
We don't do any punishments except for spanking (and I'm not willing to either), so I can't speak to that - I understand other people find them useful- I'm just not going to go there - and he enjoys the spanking so much I don't think he has thought about doing anything else.
On your other post, about not feeling as sore afterwards - I've kind of had that happen too, but I've also been in pretty much constant pain for the last two years due to health problems - and though it was more just due to having a different pain threshold than I used to - but maybe the nerve endings just get numb over time ? I've had some very, very severe spankings over the past couple of weeks- and I can certainly feel it- but I can sit at my desk at work and not be squirming all day. A few years ago I would have tried to avoid sitting for at least several days afterwards.
Sorry this is so run together and rambling- I'm late for work.

-- posted by marriedlady123

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» lacy19 - attitude's question

Glad to see you back Attitude!
I'm sorry to the others if I don't always respond to every question; for me it is a time limitation.

Attitude: I have two theories as to why the spankings used to feel one way and now are different. The first theory is that my dh has gotten too good at them. He uses a hand warm up and several implements. The spankings themselves are awful and I want them to stop. He's even started doing a rapid volley at the end of them.
However, the aftereffect is maybe 15-20 min. (if I'm lucky) and no marks. This a.m. I had a pretty severe go round but I can tell I've been spanked when I sit, but am not really sore and no marks.
My second theory is that your rear end gets used to it. I have noticed that if we take a break from DD for 2-3 weeks, then the first spanking following the break can make me sore for at least a day afterwards. (and may have minor bruising)

I trust your sincerity in your questions.

What I'm not willing to do is to experiement with harsher implements (loopy johnny is harsh enough) and I'm not willing to go the route of sticking things up my rear end as punisment reminders. I know some folks do this, but my dh and I are in agreement that we won't go there. If others do this, I don't judge, it is just that we choose not to.

I know I didn't answer everyone's questions, but here, I also keep the master schedule and handle the day to day finances (not taxes). My dh does not have time.

I also have a job where I'm in charge and have to pretend I know what to do, even when I may not. (or go find out what to do secretly without letting my staff know I don't know) I need the DD/HOH dynamic because I am submissive in nature. I'd love to not be in charge at work, but this is just the way things are.

We rarely use non-spanking punishments, but have used corner time some. A while back, after a DD hiatus, he saw some minor bruises, and used corner time. He likes the spanking too much as well.

Have a great day
Lacy

-- posted by lacy19

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» lacy19 - attitude's question+PS

Attitude:
I thought of a couple of tips if you want your spanking's effects to last longer. One we use, one we don't.
A thick wooden hairbrush lasts quite some time.
My dh uses it sparingly because can bruise if used overzealously. (hurts like heck too). If he uses it 10-12 times, I usually won't bruise, but the reminding after effects last a lot longer. Once in a great while I'll ask for it to help me keep focused if I know I'll have a stressful day at work. I always regret this request while it is in progress. (a warning)

Also, a friend uses capsacin cream if she wants the effects to last longer. I don't for a couple of reasons. It doesn't work that well on me until I sweat or shower, and then it burns. Since I've used it quite a bit for back pain, I think I'm immune to the effects if tried on my rear end. LOL
It works well for my friend. You have to be extremely careful not to get this on any mucous membrane (eye, nose, mouth vagina) and I recommend gloves to apply.
Lacy

-- posted by lacy19

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» Steph412M - Father's Death

Just to let you know at 2:35 A.M. this morning my father passed away. He was admitted to the hospital on Saturday with chest pains and subsequently suffered several heart attacks since being admitted. We had thought late yesterday afternoon that the worst was over and that the latest rally would hold, but late last night we were called back to the hospital when his condition had made a turn for the worst and we were present when he died. He had just turned 74 in June my parents had celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. With me being an only child and my mother's health not that great the responsibility now falls to me with regards to caring for her for the time being. What this means is that I will be unable for a while to respond to the reponses regarding my initial inquiry of Friday because I'll be staying with my mother for the next few weeks and they don't have a computer. In addition my employer has a strict policy about personal use of company computers which they enforce. And for now, I'm home for just to pick up a few things since my mother and I are meeting with her pastor within the hour to plan my father's funeral.

So hopefully in the next few weeks I will respond to some of the concerns that were expressed about my initial inquiry.

Steph.

-- posted by Steph412M

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» marriedlady123 - condolences

I'm sorry about your father, and know it must be very hard to now take on the job of caring for your mother. Is your husband able to cut short his trip and come help you ? Remember to take care of yourself also.

-- posted by marriedlady123

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» kayte4 - Just A Thought

This post is directed at no one, but rather is a general comment based on my experience on this site for over 2 years prompted of course by some of the recent "issues" or concerns that have been raised.

I am the first to admit that I am somewhat of a novice when it comes to "cyber" chat however even I am keenly aware of the limitations and pitfalls involved when engaging in relationships/friendships, etc. online. Clearly there is an element of trust that needs to develop in order for anyone to feel comfortable participating or responding to a post. In the past, to the degree they were comfortable, folks took time to introduce themselves, showed an interest in the other participants, etc. before jumping in feet first. While of course this is not requestite, but clearly, once people get to "know" one another, they can calibrate their level of comfort with a given individual or the entire site. In the absence of this type of interaction we run the risk of potentionally making rash judgments, hurting people,diluting the integrity of the discussions, or even falling prey to a ill intended individual etc. In fact, I was once "falsely accused" of dishonesty by a person I considered a close friend and I have to admit that I was really hurt by it even if it really was only a "cyber friendship". Given the highly personal nature of our discussions it is easy to establish bonds and a true interest in each other and to be shut out, challenged, or dismissed can be painful. Alternatively, none of us, who take this subject very seriously want to waste our time on people who get off jerking us around. It is impossible to avoid stepping on someone's toes at some point, however a level of civility and sensitivity can help us to avoid causing unnecessary upset to one another. It downright impossible to "defend" oneself online for obvious reasons. So perhaps, an unwritten "policy" of the past may help for those who choose to move forward. In general, when regular participants felt uncertain about a "newcomer", they would take it slow, give the person a chance to "warm up to the group" in order to establish a comfort level. Truthfully the posts made by people who who not "genuine" stopped once they did not get the kind of attention they were seeking. Conversely, those who were, slowly felt more at ease "sharing" enough so that others felt comfortable with them. Makes complete sense to me and to be honest with you this mode of thinking created a welcoming and fun site.

We all come from different walks of lives, different parts of the world, etc. It can be so cool when this works and people connect, so all I am suggesting is that we don't inadvertly trash this opportunity. And for those who are thrill seekers, there are so many other sites which are bigger turn ons so perhaps you might consider trying some of those instead.

So..just some thoughts which may help is reestablishing a more genuine, honest, and trusting tone.
Kayte

-- posted by kayte4

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» lacy19 - Just A Thought

I agree with Kayte.
Thanks for taking time to write this out.

Lucy: Are you still reading?
Where have you been and what have you been doing?

Lacy

-- posted by lacy19

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» Attitude18 - Just A Thought

Kayte,
I really liked what you had to say. I find myself too trusting at times. I really enjoy this site. It is my first and only blog that I join in on and it is also my husband's first. He was also very interested in the site seeing as how we have no one else to talk to regarding DD.
Lacy - thanks for your advice about the "spanked" feeling. I know the problem isn't getting spanked too much since my DH is gone for months at a time. The other reasons you gave make sense. We do have a hairbrush and yes, it does hurt a lot. It was one of the first implements my DH bought and thanks to you guys, he also bought that terrible Loopy Johnny. LOL That is the only implement that has brought me to tears. When I first saw it, I didn't think it looked that bad but from the first time he whipped my butt with it, I knew looks were deceiving. Also, thanks for the welcome back. I have missed this group. I also miss DD so much and it is so hard with my husband away. I'll take the spankings over him being gone any day.
Thanks again for all the input and having a place to ask these questions. Makes me feel like I am not alone.
Attitude

-- posted by Attitude18

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» marriedlady123 - Just A Thought

Hi,
I hope I haven't been posting too much, or given too much information too fast or done anything to bother anyone here. I've just never posted to a group about this before, and it's such a relief to actually be able to finally share information and ask questions, and even offer advise if I know something. So maybe I've gone overboard. (also I find it a big stress break when I'm overworked-or bored- better then e-bay even !). So if I should back off, or provide more of an introduction or something please let me know. Thanks.

-- posted by marriedlady123

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» kayte4 - Just A Thought

In response to Just A Thought posted by marriedlady123:

MarriedLady,
As I stated, this was a general post NOT SPECIFIC to any person in response to some of the general concerns that have been expressed of late. Please do not take offense! I just thought it might help clear the air and encourage others to chime in!

-- posted by kayte4

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