Women and the Internet -- What are your experiences

» Nancy_Coulter - I had an interesting experience with my younger sister a few wee

I had an interesting experience with my younger sister a few weeks ago. She is 8 years old (yes, there is a HUGE age difference between the eldest and youngest child in my family - but that's another story) and we were sitting at my dad's computer. I was in the process of trying to fix a few gliches on his computer so that he could log onto the Internet.

As my sister is sitting there and asking me "Can we get on the Net?"... I found myself somewhat surprised that an 8 year old would be asking me this. Of course, sometimes I have to remind myself that my sister is growing up in a different time than I did. When I was 8, we were lucky if we got to play with one of the games on one of the two computers that our school had. Our school was lucky that it had those two computers. Today, computers are a big part of many classrooms and kids get a huge exposure to that side of technology.

Then my sister shocked me even more. She said "Amber was on the net at school and cybered a 16 year old boy."

My first thought was "What the heck is 'cybered'? and why do I get the feeling that it's not a good thing?" So I asked. She explained that "cybering" was kissing over the computer (this is news to me).

I sat there, trying to make sure that my mouth didn't fall down to the ground in shock, and tried to explain to her that there are certain things you should watch out for on the Internet. But how could I? She's dancing around the room, getting impatient that I'm not working on the computer - instead I'm lecturing to her about what not to do on the Internet. (And I'm really starting to sound like my parents, which I don't like)

As a future teacher, I'm a big fan for computers in the classroom and letting students learn how to use the Internet properly. It can be a huge resource of a wide amount of information. Sometimes it's even too much information. At the same time, I don't want to put my students (or sister) in a position where they could possibly be harmed. Unfortunately, the Internet is a place where that can happen. It doesn't make it a place where you shouldn't go - it just means that you have to keep your eyes open and be aware of what could happen.

It seems that even though many people say that the net has no eyes and that you can be whatever you want to be - women are still at risk (young and old alike) of being in a harmful situation.

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nancy coulter

contributing editor: women's issues

ICQ: 1575634

cflame@blazenet.net

http://www.solic.com/nancy/

-- posted by Nancy_Coulter

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» SandraA - Sandra Allison I've had such a good time here at Suite101. T

Sandra Allison
I've had such a good time here at Suite101. There aren't many places a woman can go and just talk without either being ignored or hit on. Thank you for being there.

-- posted by SandraA

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» Nancy_Coulter - sandra, glad to see that you are enjoying suite101 and the w

sandra,

glad to see that you are enjoying suite101 and the women's issues section

don't worry, we don't bite and we try not to ignore people

- nancy

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nancy coulter

contributing editor: women's issues

ICQ: 1575634

cflame@blazenet.net

http://www.solic.com/nancy/

-- posted by Nancy_Coulter

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» LeeW_4 - Hi. I thought I posted here before, but I've been all over this

Hi.
I thought I posted here before, but I've been all over this place since I found it a few days ago, so who knows? :-)
Anyway -- as someone said, the web is the great equalizer. Rich or poor, black or white, male or female, everyone has an equal shot here. One of the reasons I stopped going to AOL is because I got tired of being IM'd by guys looking for a cyberdate!

*.Lee (a.k.a. the sister from NY)

-- posted by LeeW_4

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» Nancy_Coulter - AOL is sort of like the meat market of the internet. one of my c

AOL is sort of like the meat market of the internet. one of my close friends uses it all the time. a few nights ago we were at her house and she was on AOL, just playing around. i was shocked with the number of random people she had IM-ing her... men and women... all wanting something sexual.

the internet is just like any other place. you are going to have parts of it that are great (like Suite101!!!) and then you are going to have parts of it that people tend to avoid.

even though there seems to be somewhat more equality on the net because of the anonomity of it, there is still the inequality that you'll find anywhere.

- nancy

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Nancy Coulter

Contributing Editor: Women's Issues

ICQ: 1575634

http://www.solic.com/nancy/

Check out all the other Women's Topics on Suite101.com!

-- posted by Nancy_Coulter

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» Terrie_Bittner - I do like the invisibility of the internet. I have a face that s

I do like the invisibility of the internet. I have a face that simply doesnt' look very competent. I don't have a college degree-yet. But there are things I'm good at. I have a homepage on homeschooling and my articles on how to teach are based on my experience. While I might never have been asked to teach a class like that, people tell me I really help, and they write for advice. I don't have time for a regular volunteer job. I can't guarentee I can be somewhere at a certain time every week. This lets me serve others without neglecting my family, and to reach a wider audience. Where else could I give advice to people in Japan and Australia on the same day?
Terrie Bittner
Contributing Editor: Women's History

-- posted by Terrie_Bittner

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» Nancy_Coulter - terrie, you mentioned the fact that you have been able to succee

terrie, you mentioned the fact that you have been able to succeed on the net even though you don't have a college degree. in my experience, i've found that the net has been a huge playground for people just like yourself. not just for people who haven't finished school, but also for those who are still in it.

the team of editors for suite101 is a perfect example. we have all sorts of editors and different age levels and education levels - including many teen editors. they have all proven that there is more to a person than their age or education. the internet gave them all this chance.

women are part of that group of people who have been able to grow and find strength through the work they do on the internet. many housewives who may depressed about not doint work outside of the home, have found rewards from doing work at home - via the internet. (not that being a housewife isn't work - but that's another discussion all together)

- nancy

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Nancy Coulter

Contributing Editor: Women's Issues

ICQ: 1575634

Check out all the other Women's Topics on Suite101.com!

-- posted by Nancy_Coulter

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» prudence - Hi,This is kipskid, and I totally agree with both Nancy, regardi

Hi,This is kipskid, and I totally agree with both Nancy, regarding the "freedom to express yourself",and Terrie, "without coming face to face" with whom ever you are writing or having a discussion with. I just turned 40 and have been livivg in Mexico the past 5 years due to my husbands employment. Needless to say I got bored very quickly and began falling into a depression that happens all too often in my life. I kept saying, "I need purpose in my life. I can't just "be" and carry on day after day doing nothing" (By the way I do have a great shell collection).I left him twice looking for whatever it was I thought I couldn't find down here. But a marriage is a marraige to me and I would return to Mexico and find a new hobby. Then, 3 years ago, my husband brought home a computer and once I got on it, there was no way getting me off. Since I didn't have the books or manuals for the programs that were included w/ the computer, I had to play 'mad scientist' and toss a coin up in the air and call heads or tails as to what I should try next to whatever it was I was trying to figure out. It ranged from adding my own memory to configuering another serial port for a digital camera. Yes, there were those times when my choice was not the correct one. I was great at typing "fdisk" and "safe mode".

Today being a veteran of the Internet of just 1 and a half years, I have found myself being able to express my thoughts in the most interesting way. At times I become very comical or down right witty. It's like I have a split personality when it come to e-mails and queries. The work I do on the Internet is research. Research about anything! With no library in the town that I live in, the web is heaven to me. I just found my genealogical line 3 weeks ago and it felt like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and my Birthday all rolled up into one emotion. I have been searching for them since I got online. As far as my marriage goes, not once have I heard him complain that I am always on the computer. He sees I am finally content for where I have to live at this point in time and you wouldn't believe the money I have saved on phone calls. My kids in California, my brother in Nevada, my sister in Arizona and my Mom (who is finally getting the courage to walk over and turn the machine on)also in Arizona are all online and we chat to no end. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be laughing 'out load' in front of a computer screen. It truely has kept my sanity and also my family from drifting apart. That alone is a treasure to me. I now help others with their genealogy searches and the satisfaction I get from that is like an added Christmas Day I get each year.

This is my first post any where and it wasn't all that scary after all. Thanks for the invite to explore my curiosities. Linda

-- posted by prudence

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» Nancy_Coulter - linda... welcome! i actually can relate a lot to your experie

linda... welcome!

i actually can relate a lot to your experiences.

as we all know, when i first got on the net, it was when i was a freshman at the university of delaware. i was alone, at a new school, and my family and friends were miles away. once i discovered everything that was right there at my fingertips - i felt like a little kid with a brand new toy, and i never wanted to put it down. i learned so much - most of it just by trial and error. my friends will check out my website and say "wow, how did you learn how to do that?" ... and i'll confess that i did it just by playing around and teaching myself.

i've also been working on getting my mother more literate with the computer. she finally learned how to get onto AOL (as much as it pains me that she has to use AOL - at least she's doing something)... and her and i were able to use the IM program to chat one night. i know it brought a huge smile to her face to be able to talk to me like that. not just that she was talking to me, but also that she was able to do it and she doesn't have to be scared of the computer. it was a nice little bonding moment for us.

also, some of you may be interested in the article this week for weddings.... online relationships.

- nancy

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Nancy Coulter

Contributing Editor: Women's Issues

ICQ: 1575634

Check out all the other Women's Topics on Suite101.com!

-- posted by Nancy_Coulter

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» prudence - My how things have changed

Hello,
This is prudence again. To do a search on the Internet and have my first post anywhere come up with all it's spelling errors and grammatical 'typos' is very embarrassing... but then again, it is something that was truly felt at the time and still felt as I approach soon to be 4 years on the Net. It has held true today that this medium has kept my family closer than anything else could have. Including getting to know my real father and his relatives. Something which would have never happened if it were not for e-mails and posts such as these.
It is amazing the response one can get from just one post and the changes it can have in your life and the lives of your children and children's children. I am speaking of the genealogy that I started toying with back when I posted my original post in '98. I let the research fall aside for other types of research but it found me again from a post that was replied to and I am at it once again. I just want to tell all the folks out there that Women and the Internet is a fantastic opportunity and don't be afraid. It only takes time and the want to learn it... that is all...
It has clearly changed my life from who I was in Mexico those many years ago...
I like the 'me' that is 'who' I am today!
prudence

-- posted by prudence

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