Women and the Internet -- What are your experiences

» Julie - Wow! Thank you, thank you! A point that was brought up, and o

Wow! Thank you, thank you!

A point that was brought up, and one which I find extremely powerful, is the concept of the "power to publish." And, I think as Barb mentioned, this is not just a woman's issue, but effects *everyone.* It is especially (IMHO) crucial to those whose voices were under represented in the past. Voices of those who, unless they were journalists and the like, had no outlet in the media for public expression and, just as importantly, no one to listen. The Internet has changed all that. Not only do *everyday* people have the opportunity to "publish" their ideas and thoughts, but they also have an audience - an audience who has the ability to listen AND to interact. In my mind the potential is awesome.

Although I agree that this is a "human" issue - the power to publish and be heard is a "cross the boarder" phenomenon - I feel it has effected my life on several personal levels: as a person, as a friend, as a sister, as a co-worker, as an educator, as a traveller, as a daughter and as a woman.

Let's keep this conversation going! Tell us your stories!

Cheers!

Julie

--

Julie Bradshaw

Managing Director -- Real World Relationships

i5ive communications inc.

-- posted by Julie

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» Julie - (Posted by Julie for Michele) When I first read your questi

(Posted by Julie for Michele)

When I first read your question, I thought that how the Net effected
me was the fact I can get info, info, info. The Net is unbiased. I can
look up car prices without hearing a salesman drone on, I can look up
travel prices to see whether I'm going to get ripped off or not. I
don't know about you, but I uually have to bring male with me before
I can even got a normal type deal.

I can also look up medical wise and see if there is a forum or a
community on info like disabilites, arthritis or see sites like
womenswire.com to check out women's health and related stories.
Sometimes my doc shrugs a few things off, not that I would disbelive
him, but I guess I need a little extra okayness.

I also use the web for my studies for my MBA.

I've been online for 3 years now, I think. I've done more in 3 years
than at any other time in my life. I can order Broadway tickets
online, I can find out who's the latest band coming into town by
accessing a website not calling every club in the City.

I also did make alot friends online.

--

Julie Bradshaw

Managing Director -- Real World Relationships

i5ive communications inc.

-- posted by Julie

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» Lily - Hi, Julie! Here are my couple pennies. My first foray into a

Hi, Julie! Here are my couple pennies.

My first foray into a digital medium was not the Internet, it was the BBS. And one of the most interesting things I learned there -- in common with a lot of the experiences posted here -- is you can be anything on the Net (or the BBS).

I set out to deliberately disguise my sex when I started posting. Because my alias was "SuperMaggot," most people assumed I was male. They also assumed only a jerk would have such a handle. So my terrifically insightful (grin) comments on religion, taxation, literature, philosophy, etc., went relatively unnoticed as I just got flame after flame for being such a wormy slimeball.

Eventually, people got to know me, and they realized I really wanted to contribute to serious discussion, so they started listening and responding. And that's when the really interesting things happened!

They still didn't know I was female.

In one discussion on dating mores, I took the stance that all people are equal and should be equally responsible etc., etc. I was decried as a chauvinistic, ignorant, insensitive male who couldn't possibly understand what women went through.

In another "room" where people roleplayed stories, I had only to walk in, and the women would start hitting on me. I remember one particular flirt who kept flipping her virtual long silky black hair in my direction. I might have surmised that it was another guy, gender-crossing, except I knew the girl.

What did I learn from all this?

Well, one of the obvious ones is that people jump to lots of conclusions. I think the Net teaches them not to do that much. But I also think the Net only teaches them not to do that as much ON THE NET. After I met the people I had been "talking" to at the BBS, they went right on jumping to conclusions in real life, based on appearances. I gave up posting a few months after I met everyone, because no one took my comments seriously any longer. Having met me and found out I was perfectly gentle and unassuming (grin) in real life, they decided I couldn't possibly be as harsh as I sounded in digital print. Even those who hated me based on my vehement argument against them started being conciliatory and compromising. They decided I was I was too nice to mean it, or they didn't want to hurt my feelings or . . . something.

Another thing I learned was how arbitrary the link was between gender and character. It was veeerrry interesting to find out how attracted women were to my cyber personality. The men all hated me until they found out I wasn't a guy.

All in all, I think the power of anonymity allows you to be bolder than you might otherwise be. It lets you examine the prejudices you face because of sex/ethnicity/age/etc. by seeing how people treat you when they don't use those filters to see you. But it also allows you to examine your own prejudices. By gauging response to you and your reaction to others, you can see exactly what detail was responsible for making people think a certain way. I would say deconstructionism, but I won't. Oops, too late.

Anyway, that's the BBS. I'm not quite so philosophical about my time on the Net.

For me, the Net is mostly a research tool right now, for getting information.

I have several friends who have started relationships over the Net, and even a couple who got engaged over the Net. I have to say that I'm wary of starting serious relationships that way (I don't just mean romantic). The problem with it there is that you only get the single viewpoint of one person presenting themselves at their best. In real life judgment of another person is much more complex, and I think based more on how they interact with and treat other people. So I can't agree with some that the Net is in any way a substitute for real-life socializing yet.

Hmmm, let me see . . . more ramblings.

It's definitely made the world feel a bit smaller and more manageable. Previously, there were things -- professions, destinations, recreations -- that I wouldn't have tried because it didn't seem part of my world. But now, if I'm curious about anything, I can research it on the Net and hey presto! -- understand the surface of it immediately. With this superefficient information transmission, bureaucracy crumbles! I guess I'm thinking about tax and government and medical information. But that goes for monolithic organizations too. It's much easier for the layman to be informed these days, and that makes it much harder for the Holders of Information to pull the wool over our eyes. It's empowering in a way.

Hmmm. That's all I can think of off the top of my head. But that's a pretty long ramble to start off with (grin).

-- posted by Lily

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» Julie - (Posted by Julie for Deborah) Hi, Julie, 1. How did you ge

(Posted by Julie for Deborah)

Hi, Julie,

1. How did you get involved with the Internet?
My Dad gave my brother and I a computer about 4 years ago. It wasn't long
after that we
started exploring online chat and resources of all kinds. I didn't start
creating web sites until about
a year after that. Now, I have a half dozen sites that I maintain and have
created 8 or so new sites for other people. I have found a new passion!

2. Personal experiences while on the Net.

My current personal experiences are varied. I have ICQ in which I stay in
touch with friends. I use the internet for resources for my Suite 101
articles and my personal Music Education site. I started a Blues Ring (Web
Ring for blues) that I maintain in Nov. 1996 and it now has 197 sites. And
grows by at least 4 new sites a week since the beginning of 1998. I also
use the internet to get the weather. I don't remember the last time I
actually got the weather report from the TV. I also use the internet for
keeping up with the headlines in the news. I send about 60 to 80 emails a
week. I have quite a few people from around the world emailing me for help
with all kinds of music related topics. In fact, I have started getting so
many requests for help, that I had to set up a resource page and now, I can
refer some of the requests for help to that page. I have two people with
whom I am currently helping to get their info on my site that I met via the
internet. I have had several people send me snail mail due to our
acquaintance on the net.

3. Why do you use the Net - to keep in touch with friends,
I use ICQ and an occasional chat room, but mostly ICQ to visit with friends
and family. I met a music teacher in Missouri through Suite 101 and she and
I have become fast friends. We have even talked on the telephone. We have
sent snail mail packages back and forth, exchanging lesson plans and things
of that nature. We call each other Cyber-Sisters or "Cybah-Sistahs". I also
have stayed in touch with a friend of mine from twenty years ago at the
University where I graduated via the net.

to socialize, to
find information.

There are three ways that I generally use to search information if I am
wanting something specific.
I use Web Compass by Quarterdeck, Web Turbo, that I offer at my site and
meta-crawler, also available at my site. I especially like the meta-crawler
because it's fast and doesn't overwhelm me with gobs of information.

If you take on-line courses for example what sort of
courses.

I have taken an html class at ZDU and the next class I plan on taking is a
javascript class, which will probably be in the summer.

4. How much time do you spend on the Net

It varies from two to eight hours a day. But on the average, I guess I
spend approximately 5 hours a day on the internet. I have spent as much as
14 hours on the internet on occasion but that was when I had more time to
just surf for the fun of it. Now, I find that I am busy taking care of
obligations and promises to finish current projects. It's turned into
"work" but at least it's work that I enjoy. I look at the internet as my
way of giving back to the world the help that I would want if I were the
one in need and sometimes, I AM the one in need. I have accessed prayer
through the internet when times are rough and I have had the great pleasure
of realizing how we are all so much alike and "really" connected to the
same desires and needs.

5. The Good and the Bad - your thoughts

The bad is definitely the pornography and the hate sites. But it takes all
kinds to make the "world go round." I would like for the porn sites to be
accessed through an entirely different channel of info though, such as a
porn-net that people would have to pay exorbitant prices for but then
that's a completely selfish and "pie in the sky" dream. However, the good
out weighs the bad for me. I find a great deal of invaluable information on
the internet. It's gotten easier to find that info and I also like the
ability to have the instant gratification upon my requests and my efforts
by being in control of that information. I also like the gratification I
get from creating a web site that's innovative and very organized that's
pleasing to look at. I am currently working on a commercial online store
that has been a challenge for me but I love the challenge.

6. The future of the Net

The future of the Net is very bright in my opinion. I think we will see
some changes in the ability to have the internet more mainstream and
accessible in all areas of our lives. Say for instance, we will be able to
order our groceries from the internet and have them delivered to us without
having to push that grocery cart around the store. Some people like the
touch and feel of picking out their own produce but as for me, I'd rather
leave that to someone else.

7. The part Women play on the Net

We are wonderful in web design and getting more and more active in
programming. There should be a more even playing field between men and
women in the future. We have the ability to be as good as we want to be. If
we could reach the highschool girls and get them interested and present the
internet as something "cool" and "necessary" in order to be a progressive
citizen and make a great salary, and stress the wonderful opportunities
available to them as well as the sense of independence one can have on the
internet, we might just surpass the guys. But highschool girls are usually,
at least at this point in time, more concerned with the parties and the
right guy and what kind of make-up they should buy to make them pretty for
the boys.

8. If you work on the Net, your experiences.

I work on the internet in my spare time. I don't have children and am
married. My husband has his own account and we have three telephone lines
in our house. He has his own line for his home business and a fax line and
I have my own line just for the internet. I don't get paid for the work
that I do, but someday would like to do web sites when I retire in about 7
years. I also would like to learn more about programming and tech work so
that my job opportunities would be greater. Just web design alone is not
enough. The only paid job I have on the internet is the one I have a Suite
101.

9. Where you go on the Net

I go mostly to dhtml sites, music ed sites, news sites, personal sites, and
javascript sites. Last night I spent an hour or so at a download site
looking for de-coding software for changing Mac files (binhex4) to Windows
files.

10. Net stories

Net stories, hmmm, I have been contacted by two different companies for my
education site to be published in Internet books. I have been published in
several newsletters. One was a newsletter for the Kodaly education teachers
in Texas. Another newsletter was the Boomers international newsletter and
the other is the Music Technology Institute's newsletter. I'm not sure
where they are based. I have also been written up in the local newspaper. I
love what I do!

Good luck with your conference presentation. I have great confidence that
you will be marvelous!

Happy Valentines Day.

Deborah

-- posted by Julie

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» Julie - (Posted by Julie For Michele) Julie~ Congrats on your invi

(Posted by Julie For Michele)

Julie~

Congrats on your invitation & for all the success of Suite101. Your
"Wired Women" topic is very interesting, not to mention one that's near
& dear to my heart! I've visited the discussion thread & have enjoyed
the few responses I had a chance to read so far. i have found lots in
common with many of the replies. Thanks for asking for my input.

1. Before discovering the internet, I pretty much avoided computers
every chance I could, basically because I didn't trust their power. I
felt safer typing all my college papers & such on my trusty typewriter.
Then, I got a job as a writing/computer center tutor at school. I was
thus forced to get in touch with technology a bit. About two years after
I graduated, I got a modem & internet software. The rest is history. I
taught myself html, created my own website, started writing my weekly
romance articles for Suite101 & have been pretty much a web woman ever
since. *smiles*

2. As for personal experiences, I have met some interesting &
life-fulfilling people over the net. I rely on e-mail to maintain
active, supportive communications with my college friends who live out
of state & even among friends who live close by but whom I never seem
to find enough quality time for. Without this medium, I would never
have opened myself up to such experiences or found my very best
lifetime friend, my soulmate. For almost two years now, we've bonded
through the net. This way, there are no circumstances to block us from
each other. If I need some advice, someone to share my latest news, or
just a caring shoulder to turn to at any time, I can simply turn on my
computer & go to our special meeting place. We often ask each other
what life was like before the net or before finding each other, although
neither of us can seem to remember.

I also have gotten into reading a couple of online journals, which has
evoked my desire to finally start keeping my own journal. For almost a
full year now, I'm proud to say that I've written faithfully, every day.
I even found an excellent diary program online called "Classified."
>From this experience, I've truly become introspective & have found a
great release in my personal writing.

3. I use the net to keep myself in order. I keep up with friends via
e-mail, write my weekly articles, maintain my website, research topics
that interest me or that I want to learn more about, post questions to
others for help, etc...I've devised my opening screen to include my
dialy "rounds" of my schedule, calendar, phone book, horoscopes, local
weather, news...you name it, it's all right there.

4. I believe the net has opened up so many educational, financial, &
social avenues for women more than anything. Every woman now can have
access to wordly experiences through her fingertips (& her computer, of
courser). We can visit virtually anyplace our minds & hearts care to
take us & never have to leave home. We have limitless resources to
expand our hobbies, interests, & learn something new each day. We can
create or rework our resumes & even find jobs throught the web. We can
build a presence of true, open, unbiased relationships with people we'd
otherewise never get the opportunity to meet. We can read about things
we'd never have time to research or discover. Above all, every woman
can now express herself & become confidant in herself for being exactly
who she is.

5 . Whenever I get any free time (beyond my e-mail checks, journal
writing, or researching sites for my articles, I just casually browse
the web. I mainly check out romance-related sites. Many are forwarded
to me for inclusion in my suite101 page, so I have on on-going list of
places to explore. I also visit teaching/education sites, astrology
pages, or online bookstores.

Wow, I didn't intend to type so much. Hope this helps some.

Best wishes,
Michele

-- posted by Julie

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» Julie - (Posted by Julie for Mary Lou) Hi Julie, I don't think I h

(Posted by Julie for Mary Lou)

Hi Julie,

I don't think I have any interesting stories for your program. I use the 'net
for email, and it certainly makes it easy to communicate with people around
the world. I used to work for The American Daffodil Society, and I've got
lots of friends around the world, so it does make communication easier.

Carol Wallace found me through the ADS "Daffnet" and encouraged me to write
about daffodils for Suite 101. That has been fun for me, and a way to get out
information about daffodils. Carol has also pointed me towards some neat
gardening sites, which has evolved into sharing plants, so that has been a
bonus!

I guess my stories are just "ordinary"--not the stuff of lectures or dinner
speeches. Good luck with your talk.

Mary Lou

-- posted by Julie

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» Julie - (Posted by Julie for Debbie) Let's see, I've been on the net

(Posted by Julie for Debbie)

Let's see, I've been on the net for about a year and I don't know how I
could've lived without it! As a writer, it's opened my world
incredably. I live in a small "suburan sprawl" town 50 miles NE of San
Francisco. We are surrounded by farms and delta. Through the net, I've
been able to network with other columnists and authors. I've even met
some in person and I've gotten some valuable leads and advice.
The support and assistence I've recieved through writing workshops is
greater than what I received in college.

The net has connected me with the world without having to leave my home
office. It's awe inspiring. It's truly a writer's paradise.

Best, Debbie

-- posted by Julie

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» Julie - (Posted by Julie for Barbara) Dear Julie: ......... (A fri

(Posted by Julie for Barbara)

Dear Julie:

......... (A friend) forwarded your message to
me, thinking I might have some comments of
interest for you. I'm a Christian Science practitioner who
works from my home office. Went online about 4 months
ago. Use e-mail to communicate with patients all over the
place. Use the World Clock to check times all over the
world as I sometimes work for people in other countries.
The net has shown me that the world that I pray for is
right at my finger tips. I am impressed with the idea that
women who have felt isolated or deprived of educational
opportunities, can find so much info on the web. Makes
networking a breeze. My work can demand many hours.
I am married and we have a large home. I've found many
time saving recipes on the web and Christmas shopping was
less painful-not having to run around and fight the crowds.
Most of all, net has brought a sense of expansiveness to
thought as this unlimited pool of information is right here
to be dipped into, at will!
Hope some of this will be of help to you.

Best wishes,

Barbara

PS It has also come to me that the web can provide
greater opportunities for mothers who want to
work or take care of errands from home,
possibly diminishing the need for outside child
care.

-- posted by Julie

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» Julie - (Posted by Julie for Kathy) Hi Julie, I think it is great

(Posted by Julie for Kathy)

Hi Julie,

I think it is great you will be speaking on women and the internet ( a great
topic!). It is coincidental that two days after I received your email, our
local paper ran an article regarding the very same issue. I thought I would
forward some of the interesting facts that were in the article, and then
give you my views.

"Although women have lagged behind men in logging on, they are not
latecomers to computers. In fact, the first programer was Ada Byron
Lovelace, a Victorian countess born in 1815. She envisioned a steam-driven
contraption called the Analytical Engine to be used to create complex art,
music, and graphics. It could be programmed by punch cards. It was never
built however.

"In 1979, moe that 150 years after her birth the Defense Departments named a
computer launguage "Ada" in her honor."

"In the late 1980's and early 90's only 2 percent of the Net's population
was female"

"Globally, more women than ever are on-line. Today the Web is 40 percent
female, abut 19.5 million women. By 2000, the figure will be 45 percent, or
45 million according to Jupiter Communications, a New York consulting group. "

Julia, when I first became aware of the internet back in 1994 I was in awe.
I just couldn't believe all the information one could find, and it just
amazed me how the whole thing was done. I put up my first website in 1995,
which I still maintain. There were very few websites at that time done by
women. Since my theme was about Corvettes, and I am female, at first I got
alot of silly emails from males. For example "baby, want a date" etc.

On one Corvette Web site which has a link back to my page there is a comment
next to the link that reads (A nice website and example for all women
corvette owner's). Why just women? Why not everyone? I know the person,
and no harm is intended, but it shows that males still outrule women on the
internet. I will say that after having the web site up for several years
now, I only get positive responses.

I have been doing the Suite101 article on cars for many months now.
Generally writers of this topic are male. But it is interesting to note,
that I have not received any bad reaction to the situation, and in fact have
received a lot of positive feedback from friends and others who have read
the articles. The more women are getting into what used to be considered
"male" fields the more we are respected for it.

Good luck on your speech Julie. Wishing you health and happiness!

Kathy

-- posted by Julie

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» Julie - (Posted by Julie for Debra) Julie, I need to post this here s

(Posted by Julie for Debra)

Julie, I need to post this here since my email function seems to not be working again.

The internet opened up a whole new world of information for me. When I need information on a plant, I can search the web. If I need another gardener's experience on a plant I can ask on a discussion list.

The most memorable experience for me came from helping someone with growing lilies on a discussion list. I posted the care and feeding of lilies on the list. I received an email from a writer doing a story on lilies, asking if they could use my email in their article. I gave them permission and promptly forgot about it. A couple of months later I received another email from the editor of Better Homes and Gardens, asking me to call her for an interview. I called was interviewed and the late winter of 1997 I was in the pages of their special publication on Spring Gardening. The original writer quoted me right, and the editor added a little about me, all from one email to a list to start it out.

The friendships made and the opportunity to write here on the suite have been great also. I have met people in person from getting to know them first by email and those friendships seem to be strong ones. Maybe because you get to know someone quite well through writing?

Debra Teachout-Teashon

Contributing Editor

Pacific Northwest Gardening

Edible Landscaping -- Fruit Trees In The Garden

-- posted by Julie

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