The guilt and fear from divorce

» Will1966 - Need resources on Guilt and fear in a divorce process

Hello all...new to this chat area - right to the point...

I am 51, and am finally coming to understand that a woman's desire to be loved and have a intimate emotional connection with her mate is a HEALTHY DESIRE. Basically, from counseling...I found out that I have lost who I was, by being all things to all people. I have been chronically guilty most of my life...I have lived in fear of making a mistake, or doing anything that would hurt someone in any way...I have felt unlovable and not really worthy of anyone's love. My husband of 26 years was never able to emotionally show affection...said he didn't really believe in kissing. It's been more like being his mother (except for the dreaded "visit" every 6-7 weeks...feeling like I was being raped). A decent provider otherwise, but criticism and control are perpetual problems.

Well, my therapist says if I desire to be loved... it likely won't be happen in this relationship. 14 months ago, I was depressed and despairing of life...I though I was going to die on a vacation, and it was OK with me.

Now, I feel better - and I'm heading out for a separation...and likely divorce, as my partner has refused marriage counseling twice.

But, I find I am barraged by guilty thoughts,, and fear...the old "you didn't do this...you didn't pray hard enough...you didn't have enough faith...you could have done more....ets.

Does anyone know of a good book/books on the subject of dealing with guilt and fear during a divorce process???

Thank you so much...

Alice W.

-- posted by Will1966

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