Basketball Mom’s Unfit?
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- Philemon
- Colleen
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» Philemon - The Whole Story
Hi, AllFirst of all I just wanted to say I really enjoyed reading the article
"Basketball Moms Unfit?" I really learned a lot from it. However, as with
any story, at least in my case, there are always two sides.
I'm referring specifically to the part of the story concerning Taj Mcwilliams. Let me say upfront that I have no agenda and I bear no ill will towards Taj and I wish her continued success in all her endeavors. But the version of the events she experienced with Michele's father (me) and the court system painted a very shallow and almost callous picture of what happened.
To briefly touch on the major points, Taj and I went through several "custody fights" (her words, not mine. I only wanted to see my daughter)over a course of several years nearly
all of which Taj would not or possibly could not attend. The hearing she is referring to in which I was granted custody of Michele was set far in
advance and when the court date arrived, she was absent. When asked by the judge the whereabouts of Ms. McWilliams, her attorney replied "No idea."
(Again, his words, not mine.) It was only then I was granted custody of Michele. I was not an absentee father and Taj did not raise Michele by
herself. Yes, she maintained custody and was able to attend college and subsequently move on to the pro's. But that was only because I, as a
soldier in the U.S. Army, sent nearly half my income to her in child support. This was NOT court ordered, mind you. No judge in their right mind would grant custody of a child to a father "..who had not taken care of(Michele) since she was three months old..." Taj regaining custody of Michele had nothing to do with me being unfit as a father. Rather it had more to do with the fact that, truth be told, Michele
was indeed unhappy. Yes, Taj was gone for extended periods of time and yes, Michele was shuffled from one set of "nannies" to the next like so much luggage. But she missed her mother and for better or worse, there was a
bond I was systematically destroying. I had to decide for myself what was more important, my needs as a father or her needs as a child. Of course, the decision was nonetheless made difficult to the point of madness by Taj.
Whenever she would talk to Michele, it was always about how she, Michele,didn't belong with me and how she, Taj, would never stop trying to "get her
back." I realized, after a lot of soul searching, that after all the sacrifices I'd made, after all the pride swallowing things I did to be with Taj (joining the Army, proposing marriage,) in Taj's eyes, I was not the man
she wanted me to be. I was not the father she wanted Michele to have. And in the end that's really the only thing that matters, isn't it? I realize you all didn't ask for any of this, and by nature I am a private person. I don't want banners flying across the fruited plain proclaiming my dignity and I don't want Congress passing any laws on my behalf. I just
want to continue being a good father to the children I have now with my current wife whom I love dearly and who's still with me despite bringing a truckload of emotional garbage.
Thanks for your time and keep up the good work.
Kennedy F. Taylor
-- posted by Philemon
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