farewell to illusion: facing the truth

» onmyway101 - facing the truth

I have just realized that I have lived in and just left an emotionally abusive relationship after 36 years. This is my third attempt to finish this and
it is only because he left this time that makes me think I might just make it this time.
Saying farewell to the illusion and facing the truth is my journey.
I only really got this concept when I read some of the articles found on suite 101 and specifically men with NPD.
Last night a good friend called to check on me(my husband left June 1st, 16 days short of our 36th anniversary.) It has been rough.These last weeks and she mentioned emotional abuse and reminded me of memories that supported her theory.
I got on line last night and found you... and now I know I have somewhere to go to help me get this finally over, work through the pain and anger and
move into a new life , enjoying the journey.
Reading these stories and knowing we as women must really pull up that strength we have given away for so long to someone who would never appreciate the love.
I met my husband at 14, just a child...I fell in love with him in 30 seconds and stayed there for 36 years, through what I know now was passive aggressive emotional abuse, maybe even narcissistic disorder abuse and must now at 55 regroup, find my self esteem, learn to live without him and my codependentcy. Whew! sounds so overwhelming and the fear comes like an avalanche.

-- posted by onmyway101