Secrets of Survival

Top 12. Apr 28, 2004 2:25 PM

» Tery01 - Re: ck.in fm. FM friend

In response to message posted by energynow:

Hi Jean - Yes I am planning to write about Verbal abuse/Emotional Abuse.

No, us women are not "sensitive." Verbal abuse is far more common than what people truly know. Even with our friends, family, neighbors, and whomever.

I am hoping to have a verbal abuse article published in May.

I was mainly verbally and emotionally abused in which I talk about in my article, "Behind Closed Doors Part One and Two.

Thanks for stopping by Jean smile

-- posted by Tery01

Top 13. Jun 29, 2004 3:01 PM

» kluke42 - re: Secrets of Survival

I have endured many years of mental, verbal, spiritual and, at times, physical abuse. I have overcome through faith and persistance. I recently realized that what I was going through, was actually within my own means to control. I finally got up enough courage to stand up and fight for my own sake. I studied, I did research, I prayed, I wrote and journalled....I really worked on myself. I was able and still am able to state my points and rebutt what ever my perpertrator states. I also made it known to others that it was going on...I did not keep his secrets for him any more...because I wanted him to feel the shame of others knowing what he was really like. I was not the one who should have been ashamed. I recommend a book called Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer...it is helping me tremendously.

-- posted by kluke42

Top 14. Jun 29, 2004 5:19 PM

» Tery01 - Re: re: Secrets of Survival

In response to message posted by kluke42:

Thanks for that recommendation. Yes, I know of Joyce Meyers. It is true that we are abused spiritually. I guess that it is not mentioned too often.

No, You are not the one who should have felt shame, I know what you are saying though. I did feel shame as well.

I am happy to hear that you are doing well and your on a journey of healing smile

-- posted by Tery01

Top 15. Jun 30, 2004 4:16 PM

» biogardener - Emotional abuse

There is emotional abuse which is not even verbal. It is the most damaging kind of abuse and the hardest to prove. The woman doesn't even talk about it because no one will believe her, and she may not even be aware of what is going on.

It can take years to find out about that kind of abuse. A woman has to have hard evidence before anyone will believe her. Never mind believe her, before she will even believe herself that she is being abused.

-- posted by biogardener

Top 16. Jul 1, 2004 11:14 AM

» Tery01 - Re: Emotional abuse

In response to message posted by biogardener:

Emotional abuse is when a person tells another how to dress or not to dress, humiliates a person by put-downs, verbal attacks, mind games, and manipulation. The abuser makes the victim feel worthless, makes her feel guilty about things, and embarasses her in front of people. He may intimidate her, isolate her from family and friends, threat her with weapons or threaten with suicide.

This is all emotional abuse. And ALL ABUSE whether it is physical, sexual,mental,verbal, and emtoional is ALL about POWER and CONTROL.

-- posted by Tery01

Top 17. Nov 21, 2005 10:56 PM

» ruby43 - Surviving abuse....

Finding our own identity becomes paramount. We spent so much time wasted on trying to fulfill the needs of someone else, and to live up to the expectations or standards of another...that it was easy to forget who we were and lose ourselves in the mess. After months of feeling hopeless, and unsure of what I was going to do...I decided to concentrate on work, going back to school, and bringing back some of the passions I lost over the years. Money is a concern, so I am doing homework, and looking into grants and money available from foundations specifically geared towards helping women. It will be time consuming...but well worth it if I am able to get the assistance I need to start my life again. I will share my knowledge with others if I am able to make progress in this area. Keeping my faith is important too,..for doubt and fear open the window for failure. Changing the way I think is a daily chore...but at least it gives me something worthwhile to cling to. Hang in there...this too shall pass.

-- posted by ruby43

Top 18. Dec 25, 2005 12:00 AM

» tinkquerbelle - Re: Surviving abuse....

In response to Surviving abuse.... posted by ruby43:

Hello... my name is Sonja. I am at a friend's house this Christmas Eve after literally escaping a three day marathon of abuse at the hands of my fiance. I am feeling very guilty and sick at heart for leaving despite the validity of my reason for doing so. I have been suffering in the cycle of abuse for six years in this relationship. I have lost almost everything important to me including the trust and faith of my two teeanaged children. Any words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and Happy Holidays - Sonja

-- posted by tinkquerbelle

Top 19. Jan 7, 2006 8:52 PM

» gabrielantonio - The woman I love is married to an abusive husband

Hi, I need help to help my love one. She cannot divorce her husband because he lectures her with condemnation for hrs daily. As a result, she feels very guilty because her only reference to decision making is the fear and that she is incompetent that she is sinning against GOD. That is what he has been dumping on her and so she is reduced to frightened child. He is relentless about bringing eternal curse to her two daughters and every body around her including him.
We are very much in love because there are no games between us. She is staying with him like a prisoner she has no freedom to be her self she just has to stay because her husband traumatizes her two daughters with projected fear and threats to tell them about our sinful acts and of course, she does not want to hurt her 14 and 7 years old daughters. He is in control of everything their emotions money self-steam he thoroughly dictates their self worth. I m’ also very concerned about her daughters mental welfare wish is the reason we been holding back
My problem is that she is pregnant by me and he knows is my child that she is caring and he is in complete denial pretending is his, only to maintain possession. I m' trying to help my girl friend to seek counseling so she can make a balance decision about what to do. I already suspect from reading on these site that he is a narcissist and is affecting me very much. To me his tactics are very transparent of getting in to the emotions of those around him and with out regard of psychological baggage that he is loading on he’s own daughters is just criminal.
When I get to see my girl friend she is like under the influence of the garbage and guilt, and sure, that equals power for the abuser.
She is 34 years old and I m’ 47, and ill be divorced in March with two daughters already 22 and 23 years old on their own.
Please help for I love my baby so much and she cannot leave him because she is becoming like mentally incapacitated
I m' desperate thank you for your responses in advance. I do recognised my sin agains GOD and is not for anybody alse to judge.
God bless.

-- posted by gabrielantonio

Top 20. May 18, 2006 9:54 AM

» ruby43 - The woman I love is married to an abusive husband

In response to The woman I love is married to an abusive husband posted by gabrielantonio:

Hi GabrielAntonio, wow...what a situation. First of all, there is a legitimate reason for her to leave, even by the Bible''s standards...there is a situation where there is abuse and conditions at home are unbearable, that makes it okay to divorce. No one should have to endure this kind of treatment...this is 2006, not back in the Bible days. Safety and mental wellness are at stake. The problem is, she has to make the decision to leave, once she does...there is plenty of help out there. The courts do not always rule in favor of everything that needs to be addressed, for instance...her husband could get vindictive and file for divorce on the grounds of adultery, however, since they remain together, there is something called condonation, which may be in her favor...but I don't know...because all states and countries are different. Spirituality is very important. Keep that faith, talk to a priest, pastor or minister. You realize your mistakes, and can repent for them...the main thing is to convince her that she needs to get out of the relationship for her own well being. Do not put her or yourself in danger, though. It is easy to tell someone to get out of a bad situation, but remember, the road afterwards is sometimes just as stressful and sometimes more...dealing with all the courts, and angry emotions, and it is a long process. I wish you and her the best of luck in whatever you decide. Blessings, Ruby43.

-- posted by ruby43