So, What is Abuse?: why?

» meagain212 - why?

I WAS married for 10 yrs to a verbally and physically abusive man......divorced now for 3 yrs and have been in a 2yr relationship with Nate. Nate himself is divorced (wife had an affair and walked out), has sole custody of his 14yr old daughter, has moved around alot but finally ended up back living with his elderly mother who helps care for his daughter when he works nights.

At first the relationship was awesome, but for the past 4 months, he's been "moody" picking fights, playing the victim, not being there for me when i need support, not willing to get into deep discussions about our relationship. So we get into an argument and he either walks out or hangs up. I get the silent treatment for days and then he calls and acts like nothing ever happened. When i ask him about it, he feels he has nothing to apologize for that he's done nothing wrong.......

i'm so distraught - i want all this craziness to end......but i love him and all the good qualities he brings to the relationship....its this Narcisstic behavior that surfaces and it spirals downhill from there......

For years I tried to figure out what i ever did to provoke this....and after a while i actually believed it was my fault.....after my divorce i adopt a loving attitude, non-violent, non-argumentative because i had so much of that in my life for so long.....Nate and i have talked about this at great lengths and i felt he was on the same page.......then just 4 months this craziness started and he's no longer the man i fell in love with - but i can't seem to walk away no matter how much i break it down and know that i deserve better......

-- posted by meagain212