Life After a Surrogate Birth

» 4naturalfamily - Traditional Surrogacy vs. Gestational Surrogacy

I think this is a fascinating article about surrogacy and how a woman may feel following the loss of the baby she bore for nine months.

In my opinion, it would be a better article if the type of "surrogacy" - traditional or gestational - were mentioned. There is a difference, is there not? Mary Beth Whitehead was carrying her own child, not an implanted embryo from another woman's egg. Perhaps that made a difference. To me it seems the difference between gestational surrogacy and traditional surrogacy is very similar to the difference between being a baby-sitter and being the closest relative, the actual mother of the child.

In addition to mentioning the effects of loss on the surrogate (or mother), it would be extremely helpful to mention the effects on a baby. I imagine that a baby that was in one environment for nine months then is suddenly removed from it and placed in another environment has a loss. She has spent nine months listening to the sound of the surrogate's heartbeat, listening to her voice. Then she is removed from the only parent she has ever known. If the woman paid to produce her was a "traditional surrogate" then she is actually being separated from her own true mother.

I believe in listening to what "surrogate" adoptees have to say. Many of them are now old enough to have their own children.

Here are links and excerpts from a few posts from one surrogate adoptee's blog:

Child of a "Traditional Surrogate" Mother
http://umbliclychallenged.blogspot.com/2...

"I always fantasised that she would fly over from America and come and get me one day and say that she couldn't live without me anymore. I remember waiting for her on the front steps and looking at every blonde lady that would walk by to see if she looked like the lady in the picture. I used to think that she would come and see my recitals and plays and she would be sitting in the audience. Well it Never happened. She never came back and got me."

"I am just looking for someone like me. Is there anybody out there in the same situation? Anyone? Please, I want to hear from you. I feel so alone and so much like a freak. Half Adopted. Umbilicly challenged."

Another post from Child of a "Surrogate" Mother
http://umbliclychallenged.blogspot.com/2...

"I almost feel as if there is something wrong with my natural mum. Like she is a few bricks short of a load. And then I look at the other two that raised me. How do you ask a woman to give you her child? Are you fucking daft? How can you sleep at night? I wonder who is crazier."

I like the following website from "Son of a Traditional Surrogate Mother" best of all. He describes how a human being subjected to "traditional surrogacy" and later adopted is affected in utero, following the hand-off and growing up - and even how his maternal siblings have been affected:

http://sonofasurrogate.tripod.com/

-- posted by 4naturalfamily

Permalink Print Discussion Join the latest discussions