How Victims are Affected by Abuse

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily22.h...

Top 2. Aug 2, 2005 5:05 AM

» samvak - Re: Useful insights

In response to Useful insights posted by feistyfemale56:

Thank you for your kind words!

You may also find these of interest:

http://samvak.tripod.com/trauma.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/torturepsycholo...

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq68.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq80.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq38.html

Take care.

Sam

-- posted by samvak

Top 3. Sep 1, 2005 8:17 AM

» ruby43 - the affects of abuse...

Yes, abuse has lasting affects, no matter how minor or major. It takes alot of courage and strength to "come back" when we have endured any kind of abuse, especially if it was over many years. Many times, it isn't recognized right a way...but as time goes by, and the abuse becomes more frequent, we start putting the pieces of the puzzle together. We learn to recognize what things meant, and what encounters were actually abusive behavior. It encompasses emotional, verbal, mental, spiritual and physical. It can be a challenging pursuit to conquer, and it takes time, but it can be done. I speak from experience. I am going through a major life change after 23 yrs of marriage, with many ups and downs. But I feel better now than I have in a long time. Knowledge is the key. Acceptance is important as well. I offer my support and encouragement to anyone who needs it.

-- posted by ruby43

Top 4. Dec 24, 2005 11:54 PM

» tinkquerbelle - Re: the affects of abuse...

In response to the affects of abuse... posted by ruby43:

Hello..it's Christmas Eve and I am staying at a friend's house after a three day marathon of abuse I have suffered at the hands of my fiance. I am in somewhat a state of shock and I am hoping that when it wears off I will not be weak enough to return to the same situation. Could you send me any words of advice or encouragement? This has been going on periodically for over 6 years in the relationship. I am very confused and feeling very guilty for leaving. Any insights you could share would be very much appreciated. Thank you so much - Sonja

-- posted by tinkquerbelle

Top 5. Jan 5, 2006 11:45 AM

» ruby43 - Re: Re: the affects of abuse...

In response to Re: the affects of abuse... posted by tinkquerbelle:

Hi, Tinkquerbell,
I left several times during my marriage, and each time I returned, my husband made me feel, and still does at times, that I came back because "he let me"...and the fact that I left, shows that "I am the weak one determined to be independant and wanting to leave". The last situation was the final call, I ended up filing a police report and getting an order of protection, which made him even more arrogant and angry. He was verbally cruel afterwards, blaming me for "ruining the marriage". I decided to stay with it this time, as difficult and challenging as it has been, and still is. The more time that passes, the better I feel. I occasionally get reminiscent and wondering if he has changed, but I am trying to remain strong in my stand against his behavior and treatment. I have also found that sticking to my reasons, and remaining convicted in my beliefs about this situation...has helped me. He has a lot to think about now. He is still angry about the police and courts getting involved, and has tried to retaliate by filing for divorce and getting me kicked out of our house...but thankfully, the courts did not see things his way as of yet. The biggest influence on dealing with all this, is making him realize that I am not dependant on him, and that I would rather struggle financially and be a stressed, than to continue to endure his behavior and attitude. I have learned to not show him my vulnerabilities so much...making him think that I need him in order to be happy. He is slowly coming around and noticing that I am not spending my days and nights depressed, crying over him, or wishing I had not gone to the police. It was hard, but I persisted. It is taking a long time to get back on my feet financially, going from both our incomes, to just mine....but I am emotionally happier, and more focused....not dealing with his ugliness and arrogance. I have also made it clear to him, that material things are not important to me...that my family and friends, and my sanity or peace of mind, means so much more. This has helped alot as well. He has always thought that I needed his money and financial means in order to be happy, but it was a twisted perception of really what matters and does not matter in life. I am pursuing old interests, taking care of myself, and planning for my future...with or without him. As long as he cannot admit that he did wrong...or acted inappropriately...I refuse to allow him to work his way back into my life. Not without boundaries and limits and what is acceptable and unacceptable. Good Luck to you, e-mail me if you like. God bless.

-- posted by ruby43

Top 6. Feb 19, 2006 6:40 PM

» soleilmavis - A story of struggling for Freedom and Human Rights

Dear Sirs,

I wish to write this email to you to warn you that wireless weapons had been in use to wireless torture and wireless harass to innocent, legal, unarmed and defenceless person for 4 years. These wireless weapons had been in use since December 2001 I stayed in Australia, but during the past 4 years, I did not get any help to stop them. I don’t know which department or organization will be in charge of these matters, so I must expose them to let more people to know this story.----more people know this story, more people possible to help.
Please read the details story from http://www.geocities.com/soleilmavis/hom...

Government has the responsibility and voluntarity to protect citizen's lawful rights is not voilated when harmful weapons used by terrorism or corrupt ones who had turned themselves to terrorism.

-- posted by soleilmavis