A Day in the Life of a Trainer

Top 2. Jan 15, 2002 6:37 AM

» annycrab2 - day in the life of a trainer

I am also a survivor of the illuminati, thank you for this article. It helps to read your courages posts and articles for inspiration.
I know how scary it is to put ones self out there, and as a survivor, all I know about the illuminati is hideous.
I was used in so many ways, from carrying bloodline information to being a vechicle for negative forces to courier to things I cannot even put together totally.
Their tenacles are many and long, and I feel that each time a truth is written, we shorten at least one of those long arms of evil
Anna

-- posted by annycrab2

Top 3. Jun 13, 2002 2:48 PM

» TiaNaranja - Night Lives

WOW, I could relate to your story. My history is SRA in what seems to be a well organized group. The way I first found out I had MPD was when a cashier at a grocery store recognized me from a biker bar. Like you, I was basically a "good" person during the day, but at night, I was a hard core tough type.

Fortunately, I have been able to break away from the cult, but that distinction btwn the day and night person still existed and was expressed. Like you, I wondered if I had anemia, chronic fatigue syndrome or some other condition b/c I was always so tired at work no matter how early I went to bed.

My post under the torture article is related to this very issue. During my dental torture exp, I was being split into the day/night model you describe. I worked during the day as a secretary, and at night was programmed to perform rituals. Actually, my abuse started during the toddler age, but my mom got us away from my father and the cult when I was a child, but I contacted him out of curiosity when I was 18 (probably programmed to do so).

I don't have the clarity of memory that you describe. Furthermore, I don't have any communication with my alters. The info I do have is sketchy and based on nightmares, flashbacks. Any suggestions on achieving communication btwn these opposite identities?!?

Also, when I was a teenager, I had a psychotic break and remember believing that I turned into a vampire at night. Now I understand the rationale behind that so-called delusion.

Thanx for sharing and giving me the chance to get this off my chest as well.

-- posted by TiaNaranja

Top 4. Oct 20, 2002 1:05 PM

» prgh - Communication between alters, night/day splits

Getting to where your alters can communicate with each other (and with you--remember, "you" are just another alter) is very useful and is the first step in recovery.

Some things that have worked for me and for other people:

--Write a note or notes to your other selves and tack it up on the wall.

--Put up a chalkboard where different parts can write to each other.

--Same kind of thing, only with a notebook or journal that you leave out where your parts can read or see it.

--Start a scrapbook where you cut out pictures from magazines--anything that appeals to you-- and glue them into the scrapbook in whatever way seems right or meaningful to you.

These are just some starting suggestions. There are lot more. There are thousands, maybe a million people in recovery from RA and SRA in this country, doing this kind of work. There are many web sites dedicated to this topic. I'd recommend working with a therapist, though. The amnesia between night and day parts is there for your own protection, and when you start to break it down, you will need help and support. You probably have programming to hurt yourself when you start to recover, and it's a good idea to have some protection in place before you get to that space. But you can get to it and past it and you can GET ALL OF YOUR LIFE BACK! It can be done.

Good luck!

-- posted by prgh

Top 5. Apr 3, 2004 9:03 AM

» freeic - Re: Night Lives - Help that worked for me

In response to message posted by TiaNaranja:

I had 12 years of counseling that did not help. They stirred me up more and made it worse actually - stuff in the closet I wasn't ready to deal with. But one Christian counselor at church told me GOD will allow it to come out when you are ready. I really wanted to know what was inside of me. About 2 years later when I was so desperate I decided I needed to go before God (Him and me a lone) just with a Bible and a journal and sought healing (wholeness) - body, mind, spirit, emotions. Day by day we worked on something. Little by little HE was the one who brought up what to work on (thoughts/feelings came to mind). The right time and way (He is very gentle and made me strong to be able to) I've cried before Him, spilled out my heart to Him. By His TRUTH (what He said) I was able to recognize the lies I was believing (that kept me in the past) and BELIEVE AND OBEY His WORDS - that brought deliveance/FREEDOM. (Check out my profile for my testimony)
THIS GOOD DAY IS A GIFT FROM GOD, I WILL LIFT MY VOICE AND SING A SONG OF PRAISE, ON THIS GOOD DAY.
I hope and pray TODAY will be a blessing for you!

-- posted by freeic

Top 6. Apr 11, 2004 7:59 PM

» modelbill - Re: Re: Night Lives - Help that worked for me

In response to message posted by freeic:

Wow!!! What a praise to the Lord! We rejoice with you in your discovery... that only His voice heard by our mind/soul and spirit will free us. You have blessed us with your report.

-- posted by modelbill

Top 7. Apr 23, 2005 6:02 AM

» sgreen40 - A day in the life of a trainer/ reply

The account you have given us here must have taken huge courage to write. Ty for being so frank with us and sharing as you have done.
It will be words like yours to help break free the silence and untold secrets of so many who also suffer and suffered as you and your family have by these people who want the control. Who are psycho in my book.
Again, thanks for sharing and enlightening me on this. My partner is a survivor of SRA and severe abuse from the mother while growing up...from age birth to 18 years old. I know she was accessed one time for sure after her first child was born ....so far this is the only account that they have shared with me.
Good luck to you....keep healing....

SinceSgreenSgreen

-- posted by sgreen40