What A Shame

» Melonie90 - This article is great!!

I loved this article, especially his funny references to the shame attacks. I found the term very funny and more easily managed than when I have been told by health professionals that I have OCD or I am having a panic attack.I feel healthier already!

I read a book recommended to me by my therapist. It is called "Facing Shame" by Fossum and Mason, published in the 80's. The part I liked best was when they talked about the shame cycle and the healthy place you want to go. Epiphany for me!

I have found that sometimes getting in touch with my feelings makes me feel stuck in a shame attack I can't get out of or can go back to very easily. I have learned the root of it is I want to shame myself before someone else does. The payoff is then I think I can control it and how long it lasts. It got to the point where I stayed there way too long.

The root of it was childhood trauma when I was between 5 and 6 1/2. My shame attacks were my way of protecting myself from others who wanted to hurt me. That old thing where I'd hurt me before somebody else did lessens the sting!!!

Well, not anymore. The more I learn to protect myself and feel prepared for a disaster, the stronger I feel. For me, letting out the bad memories, taking a karate class, and making a promise to myself to take a first aid course make me feel useful, instead of a helpless neurotic victim! WHAT A RELIEF!!

(The karate class was hard, in that I had to let people into my personal body space and I did not feel comfortable or like that at all!)

Sometimes I can't believe it's true! Still waiting for the other shoe to drop! Sometimes I feel so happy about what I've learned I want to have a party! Both these responses scare me a little cuz they have the adrenaline rush and maybe that is the biggest thing to overcome. The addiction to adrenaline rushes. Guess I'll have to find a useful way to vent that!!

Thanks for listening! We can mature out of our old silly behavior patterns and let the good times roll!!!

Melonie90

-- posted by Melonie90

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