Please help me understand OCD in myself: PURE O

» HUERA9085 - PURE O

HELLO THERE IM A 40 YEAR OLD FEMALE IVE SUFFERED FROM OCD ALL MY LIFE IT STARTED WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD, IT WAS THE MOST TERRIBLE FEELING A PERSON CAN GO THROUGH, NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD, AS AN ADULT I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH OCD BUT EARLY IN MY YEARS ACTUALLY WHEN I WAS 19 YEARS OLD PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST CHILD AFTER HE WAS BORN ALL THIS CRAZY THOUGHTS WOULD COME TO MY MIND LIKE HURTING HIM OR SOMETHING, ALL THE GUILT FELT LIKE I WAS GONNA GO CRAZY AND THE REASSURING OF THAT I WAS A GOOD PERSON AND THERE WOULD BE ANOTHER VOICE SAYING YOU WANT TO HURT YOUR SON, IT WAS TERRIBLE, BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND IT MORE AND DEAL WITH IT AND YOU KNOW WHAT PRAYER HELPS ME ALOT AS WELL. BEING A REBORN CHRISTIAN AND HAVING 2 HEALTHY KIDS NOW 20 AND 15 IVE DONE A PRETTY GOOD JOB THANK GOD. AND I NEVER HURT MY KIDS IT WAS THE ILLNESS ALL THE TIME. PROZAC SEEMS TO KEEP ME STABLE AS FAR AS NOT FEELING SAD BUT I REALIZE THAT IT IS SOMETHING IM GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. THE CONSTANT RECHECKING OR THINGS DRIVES ME NUTS AND THE RITUAL THAT COME WITH IT IT IS SO CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!! BUT ONE DAY AT A TIME, AND LIKE I SAID PRAYER KEEPS ME STRONG SO YOU CAN TOO.

-- posted by HUERA9085