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Healing the Disease to PleaseRead the article this discussion is about
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» EllenMay - The Role of Shame in creating people-pleasers... I believe that one of the causes of me having the disease of people-pleasing is the way I was shamed when I was a child. I never felt 'good enough' and I think I have spent my life trying to prove to myself by pleasing others that I am OK.EM -- posted by EllenMay » therevree - Re: The Role of Shame in creating people-pleasers... In response to message posted by EllenMay:I agree, yet the irony is that most of the people we are so desperately trying to please are too busy trying to please someone else to notice that we are trying to please them!!! What a mess. What it all comes back to is letting go of the past and making ourselves as happy as we can NOW! -- posted by therevree » EllenMay - Re: Re: The Role of Shame in creating people-pleasers... In response to message posted by therevree:This reply has been a long time coming.... The other 'side of the coin' is, of course, that there are many people who use the people-pleasers, without knowing that a kindly action has a cost for the giver, and without any notion of reciprocation. I do wonder whether, generally, people-pleasers have a tendency to be much too self-effacing and self-sacrificial. Of course, these qualities are perceived to be invitations to use and abuse by people who are without empathy. Warmly, EllenMay. -- posted by EllenMay
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