Self Injury - Symptom of Mental Illness or Choice?

» hope2bsurvivor - Self Injury - Symptom of mental illness or choice?

Hi.I've just read the article and just wanted to say why I self harmed.I have self harmed for as long as I can remember.I do not know when it started.I used to bang my head,scrape my skin,punch myself and by my late teens I was cutting.I also punished my body with eating disorders.I have always had an overwhelming need to punish my body because I believed I deserved it.Hurting on the outside helped to ease the pain on the inside.I never self harmed to die, in fact self harming was a lot more to do with surviving.

I was physically and emtionally abused by my Dad.I suffer from depression.I do not know which one came first,depression or abuse.All I know is that my mind has been messed up by both.In my case self harm was certainly not a choice.It did help me to cope with my depression but I'm not sure that I'd describe it as a symptom.It was such a natural reaction to me - it was as natural as crying.

I stopped cutting over a year ago.I am nearly free of self harm and yet I still miss it.I needed it for so many years.I needed it to survive.For me self harm was not a symptom of mental illness,or a choice,it was survival.I am convinced that without it I would not have survived the trauma I have been through.

If you'd like to read more about me, my webpage is:
http://uk.geocities.com/hope2bsurvivor

-- posted by hope2bsurvivor

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