What needs changing

» gwendolayn - What if I can't figure out what the problem is?

I read your article with interest because I am coming to the realization that the severe problems in my life (no friends, ever) have to be the result of something about me. I mean, it just isn't possible for one person to have such bad luck all the time, for every potential friend to evaporate, unless they are doing something to bring this on themselves. The problem is, I have done everything I can think of to improve myself, and I am a much more appealing person than I was when I was a social leper during my years of schooling; I think I am a decent interesting attractive person now, who thinks of others, listens, likes to make people laugh and tries to talk to everyone I work with. But still--no friends! I went to a therapist and we tried to work out why, but he found me unique, funny, interesting, and generally delightful, and threw up his hands at why I was unable to create any kind of social life. So what on earth do I do now? How can I change what I am doing to be so offputting when I have wracked my brain and the brains of others, and come up with nothing? While I am chronically depressed, and this could turn people off, I really go to great lengths not to be a drag, and it isn't fake: when I am around people and talking to them, I am at my happiest. Ironic then that an extrovert is an extreme failure at the one thing she wants most! Anyone out there with similar experiences? Or that has overcome them? Please respond here or email me!

-Gwendolayn

-- posted by gwendolayn

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