Men's Help Contacts
- DesertLight
- femfree
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» DesertLight - Services for men
This info is much appreciated and will appear in the next issue of the DesertLight Journal, which appears next week. Thanks!-- posted by DesertLight
» femfree - Re: Services for men
In response to message posted by DesertLight:Hello DesertLight. I found this group while I was doing some research into resources for men involved in domestic emotional abuse sites. I will introduce myself. "Femfree" is a derivative of financial & emotional freedom. I was married to a psychopathic man. I am so glad to have found a resource centre that I can use to refer men to looking for a support group and information centre.
We have developed some verbal boundary FAQs which have come about from our manipulative/verbally abusive relationships with these men. If you would like to see them I'm adding an excerpt and the link. We do use the male gender in reference to the abuser. Statistically there are more male psychopaths than females, however, an abuser who is female would apply as well.
Thank you for such a wonderful site.
Regards
femfree
Q. I'm afraid if I use verbal boundaries he'll become enraged. What I can do about that?
A. We suggest you try beating him to the punch. One suggestion is to say something like "P, you sometimes become angry when we discuss [topic] P. If you get angry again P that just proves my point. Can you remain calm while we discuss this P?" By using this tactic you establish the need for a rational, calm discussion, and by asking a Yes/No question you establish your control of the situation. Repeatedly using the Ps name can have an intimidating effect. At all times we keep our voice at a normal conversational level, remain very calm, show no emotion. Speak slowly. We never use aggression or anger. Remember, he may be intelligent in his occupation, but emotionally equivalent to a 5-year old. P still raging? Calmly leave the room "We'll discuss this when you aren't so upset P".
Frequently-Asked Questions of VERBAL BOUNDARIES
HOW WE CAN BULLYPROOF AND ESTEEM OURSELVES!!
When we've finally had "ENOUGH"
http://groups.msn.com/COPINGWITHAPSYCHOP...
-- posted by femfree
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