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» Karin_ - Collection of Tongue Twisters
Collection of Tongue Twisters
1.If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say
"don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".How
do I understand that you understand? Understand!
2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the
witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3.Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4.A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see
was sea, sea, sea.
5.Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
6.If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch
which watch?
7.I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I
thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the
thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8.Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a
fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a
fellow means?"
9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside.Mr Inside stood outside and
called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside
and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr
Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and
outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally,Mr Outside coaxed
Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went
outside to the riverside.
10.SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE
SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
11.The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside
outside his inside inn.
12.If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the
doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or
does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When a
doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor
doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor
doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
13.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be
fine,Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or
whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the
weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot.
Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is
whether we like it or not.
14.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
15.A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said
the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a
flaw in the flue
16.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted
as tongue-twister twists tongues.
17.Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen
See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see
Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
-- posted by Karin_
» be6 - ;-)
A Polar Bear goes into a bar and says, "Can I have a gin and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . tonic please?" The barman serves him and says, "Why the large pause?" Polar Bear says, "Don't know, I've always had them!"-- posted by be6
» bob90245 - Re: Tip of the day
In response to Tip of the day posted by SteveT:Next time you are too drunk to drive, Walk to the nearest pizza shop. Place an order. And when they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.
Boy, I'm sure there are variations on this theme.
Next time you are too tired to cook and/or miss your evening bus home, walk to the nearest pizza shop. Place an order. And when they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.
-- posted by bob90245
» be6 - :-)
`An old man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children,
grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college
girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them
three times. !
Priest: Are you sorry for your sins?
Man: What sins?
Priest: What kind of a Catholic are you?
Man: I'm Jewish
Priest: Why are you telling me all this?
Man: Hell I'm telling everybody!
-- posted by be6
» be6 - Play around?
`One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over
ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets
closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small
boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde
wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned man and
says to him, "Tell me how long has it been since you've had a
cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the Irishman.
With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left
sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights
it, takes a long drag and says, "Faith and begorah! Is that good!"
And how long has it been since you've had a sip of whisky?" she asks
him. Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over,
unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens
the flask, takes a long swig and says, "'Tis absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down
the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has
it been since you've played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh, sweet
Mother Mary! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too."
-- posted by be6
» be6 - safe in plain view
The latest in security!***** do NOT open this before dinner ***** or lunch, or breakfast OK, I told U!
http://www.grin-reaper.com/brsafe.htm
-- posted by be6
» be6 - not a regular funny
ΒΆOther than, that anyone would build & fly such a thing.
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/x..." alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
A lot of people broke the world speed record in the GeeBee. I've read that a large part of Jimmy Doolittle's frame was he did also, but he lived to tell about it.
Here's another pic:
http://www.photovault.com/Link/Technolog...
-- posted by be6
» SteveT - The truth is...
A college student at a recent USC football game challenged a senior citizen sitting next to him, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. "You grew up in a different world," the student said loud enough for the whole crowd to hear. "Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, man has walked on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars, we even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing .. and uh.."
Taking advantage of a pause in the student's litany, the geezer said, "You're right. We didn't have those things when we were young; so we invented them, you little twit! What the hell are you doing for the next generation?"
I love senior citizens...
-- posted by SteveT
» SteveT - The Deaf Bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten million bucks. This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where is the 10 million dollars is hidden.
The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again."
The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"
The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"
The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
-- posted by SteveT
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