Hypersensitive or a Hypochondriac: Daughter of One

» Ame_Rigal - Daughter of One

For as far back as 1975, I can remember my mother complaining of one condition or another. She always has to be on a special diet or needs special consideration. My sister and I are both just totally fed up with it. Once in a while she has a real condition, the latest being her gall bladder which was removed, but we listen so long to the imaginary illnesses. The complaining and whining seems endless. But when she really does need extra help, the last thing we want to do is go visit. I don't mind making dinner and dropping it off, but if we go over there she wants us to watch movies of her surgery or show us her scars.
It was interesting to read that it can come from her experiences in youth. Her mother was bed ridden in her mid thirties with rheumatoid arthritis. Being the only daughter of Iowa farmers, she had a lot of work put on her by the age of 10. Her mother needed her until the day she died (which was about 25 years later). She was also widowed at age 26 with the three of us.

I know of times when she has been seeing two different doctors, in two different towns, getting treated for two different conditions all simultaneously. She buys tons of medications in Mexico; things from Xanax to unprescribed, unapproved US medications. Everyone we try to talk to tells us there is nothing we can do and to just live with it. If she really is ill from time to time, it is only made worse by the way she takes medications for all her delusional conditions. She's ruining her relationship with her wonderful new husband and alienating me and one of my sisters. The third lives several hours away and doesn't really understand what's going on yet. Is there anything that we can do? We have tried to have a calm discussion with her, but then she has a tantrum---it's like watching a two year old. She stomps her feet, screams (literally), cries, beats her head on the wall----it's awful? Can you help?

-- posted by Ame_Rigal