Temper tantrums

Top 2. Jun 23, 2004 12:52 AM

» biogardener - If they do . . .

When you see that kind of behavior in a baby, it is time to check for causes, and my first guess would be allergies. If you are interested, check in at my Natural Health topic and inquire about simple and accurate allergy testing which anyone can do without any discomfort to the child. I don't want to go to the trouble of linking the article, unless you are going to use it. Just click on the Natural Health graphic in my signature.

-- posted by biogardener

Top 3. Jul 12, 2004 3:43 PM

» neldis - Re: Temper tantrums

In response to message posted by globalspot28:

Babies will naturally, from time to time, be fussy and will cry when they need to be fed, changed, or just comforted. What do you consider a "tantrum?" Is this your child to whom you are referring?

I think parents today are too quick to label behavior and think there is a problem when there is none - they also are encouraged to define issues so that the proper medications or supplements or therapy can be prescribed, when in actuality, it's usually either normal behavior OR in toddlers and older, just plain bad behavior due to negative peer influences and more often, lousy parenting.

-- posted by neldis

Top 4. Jul 12, 2004 6:04 PM

» Red - use caution...

When my oldest grandson was a couple of weeks old, he began screaming at different intervals throughout the day. He slept all night from the time he was 3 days old. Both the doctor and myself assumed he had allergies. We tried soya formula, which seemed to help some, but didn't solve the problem. We then realized that he screamed when he was too hot, when his diaper fit too tightly, when his clothes irritated him etc. This continued. When he started school, the teacher began sending notes home that Brandon wasn't getting along with his peers. To make a long story short, he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which is on the high end of the autism scale.

Asperger's children have many problems. The texture of food, clothing etc., can cause them severe discomfort, as can being too hot. These children feel things in extremes. They don't know how to cope with these feelings and so only express it by having meltdowns, which most people see as temper tantrums. When Brandon melts down, we know that something is bothering him. He can't always tell us what it is because Asperger's children have trouble communicating and perceive things differently than we do. So, they express their feelings the only way they know how - by melting down.

I'm not saying your child has Asperger's, but use caution when judging the actions and reactions of your children. Things are not always what they seem.

-- posted by Red

Top 5. Jul 12, 2004 10:59 PM

» neldis - Re: use caution...

In response to message posted by Red:

Parents must always be astute enough to recognize patterns of behavior that may be cause for concern and I'd advise anyone that if they have concerns, contact the child's doctor for advise.

But I was referring to those who label too quickly those behaviors which are not in any way caused by physical problems. The poster referred to "tantrums" rather than something like chronic crying or fussiness.

-- posted by neldis

Top 6. Jul 13, 2004 12:53 AM

» kgurrl - RE: Temper Tantrums

Hi Tony,

My thoughts on this subject come from my experience as a mother. When a 4 week old baby is throwing a crying fit, he/she has a need. This is not a tantrum in my opinion. An infant that young has no other way to express himself but to cry. When my kids were newborns they had screaming fits when they were hungry, sick, teething, needed changing, were overtired, hot, and had gas. I found the worst crying came as a result of two problems; ear infections and gassy tummies. Children have to be taught how to handle their emotions in stressful situations and at a young age lack the skills necessary to handle such situations. As a result, they often throw temper tantrums. I read an article recently about adults and tantrums that I found interesting. According to the author, adults discipline their children for throwing tantrums by giving them time-outs, but when it comes to our own moments of anger and rage, we don't feel we need a time-out and end up throwing tantrums ourselves. My son is 15 months old and definitely throws tantrums. His little acts of rage started at around 10 months old. Why do I consider his behavior a tantrum? He throws himself on the floor kicking, screaming and crying when he can't have something he wants (not needs). For example, if he tries to pick up a glass off the table and I tell him no, he gets angry and throws his fit. Also, studies show that a baby who is tended to when he cries throughout his infancy becomes a child who cries less than those who were not tended to as quickly as babies.

-- posted by kgurrl

Top 7. Jul 13, 2004 4:11 AM

» Red - Re: Re: use caution...

In response to message posted by neldis:

neldis,

Brandon's melt downs were exactly like temper tantrums. We couldn't tell the difference, but as he was normally a very well behaved child, we knew that something wasn't right. He is now nine years old and when other people see him have a melt down, they assume it is a temper tantrum amd often make rude comments. As I said, things are not always what they seem.

I have taken care of many children in my day. If you didn't know he had Asperger's, you would assume he was either a bad child, or just throwing a tantrum to get his own way. We have to be very careful when reacting to his behavior. The signs between a melt down and a temper tantrum are very subtle. A melt down can be brought on by a shirt whose fabric is driving him over the edge. He's been this way since he was an infant. He did not chronically cry and it was just not fussiness. These melt downs are far more extreme. Again, I advise to use caution. As someone else said, infants don't scream because they are throwing a tantrum. When they do so, it is because there is a need, whether it be a feeding, a diaper change, or possibly, in Brandon case, a loosened diaper or a change in clothes.

-- posted by Red

Top 8. Jul 13, 2004 4:27 AM

» Red - Re: RE: Temper Tantrums

In response to message posted by kgurrl:

kgurrl,

I agree with most of your statements. Children as young as 4 weeks do not throw temper tantrums. They have a definite need.

There's one point that I want to bring forward. A meltdown is so much like a temper tantrum that it is often hard to tell the difference. If this trend continues when the child is taught his behavior is unacceptable, he/she should be taken to a behavior specialist. This is how we found out that Brandon had Asperger's. Even his father assumed he was throwing tantrums to get his own way. Not true. Brandon has a chemical imbalance of the brain that allows him to perceive things very differently than we do. For instance, when he looks at a tapestry, he doesn't see the entire thing, but each thread separately. Textures can cause him to meltdown, whether it be food, clothing, bedding etc. We have to be very careful when we buy him new clothes or bedding.

Don't always assume a child is throwing a temper tantrum when he may be having a meltdown. These are things that parents need to be educated in. Though Asperger's was discovered in 1939, the knowledge didn't reach the North American continent until 1995. Just a word of caution.

-- posted by Red