Why?

» tsyring - C is for Coming Out

One of the things that has always puzzled me is why do you feel a need to "come out"? I mean, why is your sexual preference anybody's business but your own?

-- posted by tsyring

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» creamypurple - Re: C is for Coming Out

In response to message posted by tsyring:
Hello, tsyring. I would like to answer your question.
A way for people to get to know one another is to ask questions about each other. The norms of society, such as having a partner, are the most common and easiest to ask. When someone asks you "how's your day?", they have effectively made it "their business" to know how your day is. If life is good for you day after day, but you keep insisting that they are bad, how long could you lie about it? Wouldn't you feel guilty, ashamed, secretive? Don't you want to tell about all the things that made your day so great? Now, when asked "are you married?", or "are you seeing anyone?", maybe there is no need for an answer beyond yes or no. What happens, though, when a norm of society is put into play, and you're asked "what's his name?", or "is she cute?", refering to the opposite gender of your own? If we were to continue the use of the opposite gender in our response, when in fact we're refering to someone of the same gender, its normal to feel guilty. It's a lie, afterall. What if it is a very close friend asking this question? If you lie, how do you explain to your partner that you are ashamed of their gender? If you can't tell your close friends about your partner, then you must be ashamed of your partner. No one wants to keep secrets. Even if its not an accepted norm of society, you would hope anyways that society accepts, so you can live a normal life.

Besides, how are you suposed to find a gay partner if nobody knows that you're gay? ;)

-- posted by creamypurple

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