The Single Life No More

» silvan - meeting people

What a great article, Claudia! I would say I've had good luck with the personal ads, too. I didn't meet a life partner myself that way, but I did meet my two best friends from phone line personals. They always said and did things that reminded me of the other one, so I introduced them, and now they have been together for about 4-1/2 years! Even if you're just looking for friends (which can be a little more difficult task if you come out later in life), the personals are a good way to do it. I've also met some interesting people from internet personals.

There are all kinds of interesting social groups that can provide a meeting place. Gay Fathers of Toronto is a support group, and it has a policy against dating newcomers since many of them are in a vulnerable situation, but I made a lot of friends there. Another good group was the gay and lesbian choir in my town. And I've been meaning to try the Out & Out Club in Toronto, which organizes all kinds of outdoor, artistic and social activities for gays and lesbians.

As you say, it's important not to go out with an attitude of finding love. Having that high expectation can be toxic to developing friendly relationships with many people. I'm having a lot more fun now that I just focus on meeting new people. When I meet someone I really click with, I simply make an effort to be friends with them.

After all, having a good social network is probably the best way to get introduced to a romantic partner. It worked for my two friends!

-- posted by silvan

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» stillwaters - Re: meeting people

In response to message posted by silvan:

Sounds like you have a great attitude. it is hard to find a serious partner whether you are gay or straight, but there is hope!

My spouse met her best friend through an ad who later got together with another friend she met via an ad, who had also answered one of my spouses ads! So it is a great way to get to know people.

I think ads have a wrong stereotype of saying "Desperate". In the gay life it isn't that way at all. it is just so hard to meet people outside of the bar scene.

-- posted by stillwaters

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