Trying to Understand how to Help a Friend with Fibromyalgia
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- Jausten
- Othello
- Dan_Ellsworth
- Jausten
- Dan_Ellsworth
- EllenR_2
- EllenR_2
- Dan_Ellsworth
- Jausten
- Dan_Ellsworth
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» Jausten - (Jausten, aka Cynthia looking up from her pew at Dan in his pulp
(Jausten, aka Cynthia looking up from her pew at Dan in his pulpit)..Dan, you can stay in your pulpit for as long as you want. You have the awesome ability to not only be a religious man, but also a very spiritual man. Along with that, your sense of humour and common sense is something that a lot of people need to learn.I've got to get out of this pew for awhile cause my back is killing me, and my neck is hurting from looking up.
And if one more person emails me to tell me that I've been feeling better because of their prayers for me instead of my almost daily walks, less time on the computer, and the better weather that we've been having, I'm going to send them to sit in the pew for about an hour.
Having been in a FMS flare for over a year now is not fun, and the few good days that I've had lately are a part of fibromyalgia, and not necessarily from prayers. I won't deny that prayer doesn't work, but God doesn't always give us what we want. Rather, we get what we need.
Why we need FMS, I don't know, but just to have CNP really listen to us and hear us is the beginning of understanding, love, and compassion.
And, Dan, that is what you bring to these discussions. Thank you.
Jausten
Suite 101 Contributing Editor: Fibromyalgia
-- posted by Jausten
» Othello - Jausten......it may not be the FMS that we need, but rather the
Jausten......it may not be the FMS that we need, but rather the inner strength which we get from our higher power, depending on that spirituality which we have; the people that we encounter in our lives as a result of FMS. And not necessarily the FMS itself.For me, if I didn't have the spirituality that I have, I would not be a happy person in my heart. I would have missed out on many things, including the gifts which I, as a human being, have been given. The gifts? Why they include compassion for others, a true creativity, and abilities I did not know about before FMS.
It means that when no one else seems understands me and be there for me, my higher power understands me and is always there for me.
At this point, I don't expect people to understand. What I would hope is that they would be compassionate and merciful. That is not always the case as we all know.
I do not believe if I just pray this FMS will go away. I do believe if I pray, God will put the people and things in my life and heart to help me to endure it. Remember, the Bible says that God will not allow us to be tempted more than we are able to endure. Some days it seems as if I can't endure much. However, I've learned that if I take the time to listen, I'll see what is in front of me to help.
(forgets where she is at the moment, suddenly realizes, but says Dan's comments inspired her).
-- posted by Othello
» Dan_Ellsworth - I am thankful that my words could help. I agree, you need not
I am thankful that my words could help.I agree, you need not be impressed by after-the-fact claims for somebody's prayers. Now if you feel a sense of God's presence and spiritual relief at 1:37 a.m. and THEN find out Aunt Martha was praying for you then and SHE got a sense of peace and blessing at that minute (and she names the minute first), put THAT in your spiritual journal.
Wanda V., you seem to have it in balance. Your compensating gifts, like the Apostle Paul's, might have been there but never developed in a "normal"(?) body. I think the answer Paul got to his prayer for relief was "My grace is sufficient for you."
By the way, although Christianity is the faith I know (and wouldn't leave for anything), I think any mature religion should help you cope with NOT getting the miraculous physical healing. That might even be close to the definition of a mature religion. In any event, I don't own the pulpit around here. But let all things be done in love.
And yes, Cynthia, it took years to become this obviously unique and eccentric; thank you for noticing. ;-) Hmm... maybe THAT is part of my spiritual gifts. I am a card-carrying member of the Fellowship of Merry Christians. (HQ in Kalamazoo, Michigan, where else?)
Dan Ellsworth (e-mail, bio), Editor, "Christianity - Protestant"
-- posted by Dan_Ellsworth
» Jausten - Dan, I do agree that if Aunt Martha was praying for me at a 1:37
Dan, I do agree that if Aunt Martha was praying for me at a 1:37am, and felt a sense of peace, and I also felt the same at the same time, then it is the power of God and prayer. I've had too many such experiences in my life to dispute that solid fact. In fact, I could find one of my old journals, and actually show you!...*grin..Or maybe you'd like to hear about my prayer for a sign from God that everything was going to be ok when I was pregnant with my third child. I was very depressed and didn't think I could cope with another child. Just as I was asking for a sign,..and I know that opens the door for a lot of debate..*g..I felt my son move for the first time. The peace and joy that came over me at that moment still can affect me as I write about it.Now, where is Aunt Martha? I've had several days of great fatigue, no humour, no creativity, and there seem to be more thorns than grapes in my days. But God is teaching me something. What it is, I don't know right now, but I will know eventually. (Cynthia gets down from the pulpit, and skips out the door. Then she remembers Wanda and the storm..*g..)
Jausten
Suite 101 Contributing Editor: Fibromyalgia
-- posted by Jausten
» Dan_Ellsworth - Jausten, maybe somebody's praying more than usual for you lately
Jausten, maybe somebody's praying more than usual for you lately, but I'd look at two other hypotheses: (1) These things have a natural ebb and flow. (2) You might be feeling more understood than usual in the last few days, and I think that would do good things to your body chemistry. Any of this might be (and probably is) within God's plan, but not a "mess with Mother Nature" type of miracle.The thumping kid? Some will say that was going to happen anyway sometime. Well, why did God lead you to ask for a sign just as a such a natural event was about to happen? That's my idea of God at work, guiding millions and billions of borderline synapses in our brains at the level of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle without upsetting either natural law or our freedom to choose. No single event like that is proof of God's care; we are free to detect or scoff at patterns - and pattern recognition is one of the great things about human brainpower. (Think of all the faces, recent or not, that you can recognize within seconds.)
[Dan, unsure whether he's been Professor or Preacher, dissolves all furniture between him and the listeners, to speak as Person.] Thank you for reminding me of a dream I had when I needed it, with the first child on the way, while I wondered if I could ever get the hang of parenthood. (I liked solitude, quiet, and control.) As I sat on a sunny, flower-covered little hill, a tot (Boy or girl? Didn't know; didn't care.) hugged my neck and I felt the most intense peace and warmth I've ever felt in a dream. I needed that.
T-shirt motto idea, not sure if any good: I am my own Aunt Martha OK, I go quietly now. ;-)
Dan Ellsworth (e-mail, bio), Editor, "Christianity - Protestant"
-- posted by Dan_Ellsworth
» EllenR_2 - Dan, I do like that verse, "My grace is sufficient for you." (No
Dan, I do like that verse, "My grace is sufficient for you." (Now I have to hunt it down until I find it! I think I have it on a Scripture memory songs tape somewhere.) Wouldn't you agree that grace can come to us in many different ways? There should be no need to choose between receiving a blessing through another person, or getting relief as a result of one's own openness and willingness to listen for that "still small voice" that speaks within. Sometimes we receive grace through other people and their prayers, sometimes through experiencing and following our dreams and visions, and sometimes through our own direct contact with our Higher Power, or in a combination of several different ways. It isn't "either/or," but "both/and." So the grace that is sufficient, or even abundant, can be coming to us in many different ways at once.
CatEcumen, the Ecumenical Cat
A Friend of the FMily
http://eclecticon.net/CatEcumen/thought....
-- posted by EllenR_2
» EllenR_2 - Got it! This is a good reply to those so-called Christians who
Got it! This is a good reply to those so-called Christians who claim that anyone suffering from illness or pain is out of God's will. Thanks, Dan.2 Corinthians 12:7-9
"... there was given me a thorn in my flesh... to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
(New International Version)
CatEcumen, the Ecumenical Cat
A Friend of the FMily
-- posted by EllenR_2
» Dan_Ellsworth - Rock on, CatEcumen! We have Job in the Old Testament, Paul in t
Rock on, CatEcumen! We have Job in the Old Testament, Paul in the New, and the current testimony of some thougtful, sensitive people. Maybe some people are not comfortable with the idea that they are getting better than they deserve - so they perform any contortions to deny it. But that's the whole idea of grace, I think - getting better than you deserveAnd yes, grace comes to us in a variety of delivery modes - "direct", and mediated by persons, nature, ... reggae music too, likely as not. Accept spiritual nourishment where is is to be found. Speaking of which ... I think this bunch is good for me. :-)
Dan Ellsworth (e-mail, bio), Editor, "Christianity - Protestant"
-- posted by Dan_Ellsworth
» Jausten - Ellen & Dan, I believe that both of you are good for those of
Ellen & Dan,I believe that both of you are good for those of us with fibromyalgia. And I also can feel that you care about us and are understanding us just by the words that you write.
When I feel like no one around me understands my limitations, I can come here and find two people without fibromyalgia who are closer to understanding FMS than most of the people who claim to understand.
I do believe that even Christ followed the holistic health of mind, body, and spirit. Being connected with God or the God of our understanding is more than just prayer and supplication. It is being open to His plans for us, whether we are in physical pain or not. And angels are not just creatures that fly around in heaven. Angels are walking on earth in the form of humans. Humans who reach out a hand and give a word of comfort and compassion.
Christians or others who believe that we will be cured if we are spiritually right with God are really blaming and shaming us for being imperfect. I am human, and although I can no longer work as a nurse, it is God's plan for me. He told me years ago that I was His writer. And I never would have written as much as I have if I was still working as a nurse. I don't believe that God gave me fibromyalgia, but God uses conditions such as FMS to draw us closer to Him and what His plans for us are. It is that "still, small voice" which I try to listen to rather than the clattering of others who have simple answers for me.
I see both of you, plus a few others as angels. Angels who guide and help me to see the gift of love.
(Jausten quietly leaves to ponder these long forgotten thoughts, and decides to phone a friend who is dealing with a more difficult physical condition than fibromyalgia.)
Jausten
Suite 101 Contributing Editor: Fibromyalgia
-- posted by Jausten
» Dan_Ellsworth - [Dan straightens halo, flexes wings.] Jausten, I <i>have to</i>
[Dan straightens halo, flexes wings.] Jausten, I have to share credit with two people I think highly of - two ladies with fibromyalgia.My former immediate supervisor was one of my best ones ever - largely because she paid attention to what I really said, wrote, or could do. She listened to me. When I joined her unit, that was enough to impress me. And she knows a lot, too - I still call her for advice or information on some things.
My sister is an intelligent, caring, humorous person, who looks way too young to be my sister but that doesn't seem to go to her head. Her two sons (born 1978, -80) are talented people and good company, and she's done a lot for them.
I respect these people too much to offer pre-packaged answers.
Dan Ellsworth (e-mail, bio), Editor, "Christianity - Protestant"
-- posted by Dan_Ellsworth
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