Just Listen & Hear Me
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- JacquelynK
- Jausten
- Lise-AnneG
- Jausten
- BettyD
- Mermie
- tamara_peters
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» JacquelynK - Jacquelyn Keller - I understand exactly what you are saying Cy
Jacquelyn Keller - I understand exactly what you are saying Cynthia. I have anxiety about family visits prior to each one. Its Easter tomorrow, the family celebrates together, and I dread all week facing questions about how I feel, I look , am I depressed, I'm gaining weight, I need a different job, I need to go to church, I need to get rid of all the animals, etc, etc, etc. I had frustration dreams last night about my family in anticipation of this gathering. My mother also has fibromyalgia, but she has been one of these "pull yourself up by the boot straps" type of people. She exercises and stretches daily, walks, keeps her weight steady (not at a so-called normal weight, but a steady one). Watches her meals as far as fats. But she is just not starting to read about FMS, at my encouragement, and I'm hoping there will be less push on me to take on more than I can do. My energy is funneled into keeping a job and doing minimal housework. Plus two chow chows and three cats and a husband to take care of. My husband helps as much as he can. It's not as important to him, but he will help when I ask. I dearly love my flowers outside and cannot imagine totally giving them up. I am planting perrennials that will come back again and again, as well as mulching to aid in the weeding process. I love to water my flowers. I don't mind that. I so love this time of year and being in the garden among my plants. Watching them begin as little specks peeking out from behind the soil, little green and red tips giving glimpses of hope for a spring and summer show to die for. I could never give up my flowers. I dearly love coming home and wandering through them each day, seeing how they are doing, grooming them, admiring them, feeling the soft petals and leaves in my hands. The aromas are heady and I'm joined by butterflies, chickadees, robins, bluejays, grackles, mourning doves, cardnials, and occasionally a hummingbird or too. This brings me joy, even when I hurt. How can something that brings me such joy be a bad thing for me? I don't want to give up keeping up a house and not have the joy of my flowers and bird friends (and the fluffy companions in the house). I'm almost 44 years old and I've only had this house for almost 5 years. What kind of twist in fate is it that once I achieve my dream of finally owning my own yard for flowers that I suddenly do not have the stamina to do it myself. Or at least not myself if I also hold down a 40 hour week job. My other love is the computer. I would love to make home pages for small business starting out and help them to try the world wide web for customers. I like designing cards, pictures, note cards, stickers, and other fun things for my friends and family. I can spend hours and hours and hours on the computer finding something else that would be interesting to share. I have received so much good information here. I'm still struggling with the diagnosis and what it means to me, individually. But I think this is a good place to reflect and consider the alternatives before me. Thank you for making a place to do that!Have a wonderful celebration of the renewal of the Earth!
-- posted by JacquelynK
» Jausten - Jacquelyn, Thank you for sharing, and I could see, smell, and
Jacquelyn,Thank you for sharing, and I could see, smell, and hear the birds as I read your entry. My Easter Day was spent in pain, and then out to dinner with my in-laws. I did have a choice of whether or not to go, and I chose to go because I was hungry. It was stressful, and even cutting my food was painful for me. They just don't understand, and the only way for me to feel good about myself is to keep my boundaries around myself and not allow their words to upset me. Granted they did, but my day today was spent walking through a nature park and enjoying the sunshine, the wildflowers, and being by myself. By the end of my walk, I was in pain, but emotionally I felt much better. Like you, I need the flowers, my pets, and the outdoors to keep me focused on what is important just for me.
So enjoy your flowers. Enjoy the computer, and the fact that you are working 40 hours per week is probably more than your mother has to do. She may have the time and energy to exercise and stretch, and also she may be in denial. I've met many people with fibromyalgia and we all have different levels of pain, fatigue, and other symptoms. It is the same with my mother and her stroke. Others may have had a stroke and not be as bad as she is, or they may even be worse. She is grateful that she can still do some things, but she just can't transfer that over to how I feel.
Peace & Serenity to you.
Jausten
Suite 101 Contributing Editor: Fibromyalgia
-- posted by Jausten
» Lise-AnneG - Lise-Anne Grandbois Hi I know how you feel. Besides my FM I
Lise-Anne GrandboisHi I know how you feel. Besides my FM I also have degenerative disc disease. Only recently I have learnt to pace myself. Now instead of cleaning up the whole yard and spending the next week in bed with pain. I stop and admire the work I have in one little section of the yard. It took me three days to tidy up 1/4 of the yard, but that's OK because I still can enjoy it.
I also work 37.5 hours a week, I have two daughters aged 11 and 13, no husband as he decided that he would prefer to contiue on his life separate from ours.
I attend University 2 nights a week with the goal of completing my degree some time soon.
-- posted by Lise-AnneG
» Jausten - Lise-Anne, I think the only way I got through University, wor
Lise-Anne,I think the only way I got through University, working, and taking care of my family and house and yard, was to be in denial of my fibromyalgia. If fact, I know that is how I did it, plus being off work a lot from multiple back injuries. I will weed for 10 minutes and be exhausted and sore, but even ten minutes is better than nothing.
It is a tough load when one is working full-time, going to school, and raising children without support. I know that I couldn't do all that now, but just having a little understanding from our families would be nice. I hope your daughters are helping you with things around the house.
Jausten
Suite 101 Contributing Editor: Fibromyalgia
-- posted by Jausten
» Mermie - Cynthia !
This is Mermie aka Tori, and I have lost your email and cannot find it. I would so like to be in touch with you again. My computer crashed. Your articles are fantastic. Do you remember when we worked on Chatelaine article together? Blasting them? I would really like to talk again.I will send my hotmail addy here and then connect you with my pop mail when you reply. Peace, Love and Blessings, Mermaid
starturn@hotmail.com
-- posted by Mermie
» tamara_peters - Re: Cynthia !
In response to message posted by Mermie:Hi Mermie, I'm sorry to tell you that Cynthis hasn't been a contributing editor here since. Dec. of 2000. I don't know how to contact her nor do I know if she stills has her own site. You might trying doing a Google search though.
Good luck!
Tamara 
-- posted by tamara_peters
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