Recently Diagnosed

» chanin - this fms sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iam a waitress, fitness trainer who has been suffering for a very long time went to dotors upon doctors to have them all think im nuts and that i just liken pain pills! i told them i didnt want to take pain pills i wanted to know what was wrong with me, where has my strength gone,i have days i can life weights than others i cant even life a half gallon of milk or put my fingers around a cup of coffee. my neck hurts so bad i could not see how it couldnt be that i either needed surgery or that i was dying.i would rather go through having natural childbirth 10 times no drugs in the middle of the grocery store than have to deal with this! i can no longer work till i can begin to deal with the pain. i miss my friends and have lost many they either got tired of hearing my complaints or that i could never go out when they called cause i was yet again sick! i am in my mid 30's never thought my life would be like this. i brought my best friend my grandmother in to live with us two years ago when she found out she had terminal lung cancer, non-smoker-great heath complete surprise, she was the love of my life and she died at home with me at her side saying now i lay me down to sleep as she did me when i was her little girl. she never complained of pain, never really wept but me, i cry alllllll the time, i am a christian, i know that god hears and wipes all my tears. for some reason he thinks i can carry such a heavy load, god love him lol.
i need help from a support group like you all, others that can relate, i want to beat this and be a great mother do my daughter, a better wife, I refuse to take this or go out laying down anymore!
please lets talk,
love chanin

-- posted by chanin

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