Surprise! Pro-Life Feminist isn't an Oxymoron
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- pinteareed
- LTHaga
- DawnF
- Sondakhan
- oceana_moon
- pantazis5
- DawnF
- Alicia7
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» pinteareed - False Dichotomy pro-life vs pro-choice
Hi Dawn,I think part of the problem with these two labels is that they create a false dichotomy.
Few women of any belief system would expect a woman to drop dead having a child. In the past, and in many less affluent countries childbirth and its complications are still the most common cause of death among women.
On the other hand, trivializing abortion which is a very serious act with many physical and emotional complications for women is close to evil. Additionally, we know that in women of color who use abortion are at high risk for keliods (also called hypergranulation of scar tissue)in their uterus and resultant infertility.
Ergo, for these populations actively promoting abortion as birth control is bordering on genocide.
When I was pregnant with my son I was very ill with pre-eclapsia and endema. It was recommended I abort, but I did not.
However, I would understand (remembering how ill I was) if some other woman chose differently.
With the Morning After Pill commonly available, many women who would stall and late term abort can end things at the first ball of cell stage. The sort of thing flushed down the sinks of fertility clinics every day.
Obviously knowing what we do people should seek a middle ground here given the data.
I have come to resent very much people who would cheerfully condemn women to death from childbirth, and their equally unpleasant conterparts on the other *far side* experimenting with abortion on poor women and the women of the Third world like so many guinea pigs.
Lili
Dr. Lili Pintea-Reed, Ph.D.
-- posted by pinteareed
» LTHaga - Pro-Woman, Pro-Life IS an OXYMORON!
When we live our life thinking that "I" must do for myself, "I" must get ahead, "I" can do anything a man can do, "I" am just as equal as a man...all these type of speech represents selfishness. When we are so concerned for ourselves and being so superior, how can we expect ourselves to be good, giving, nurturing mothers? Becoming a mother is the ultimate sacrifice. You give of yourself in everyway to provide, care for, nurture, and love your child. In no-way does the feminist agenda say these things. Being pro-woman is no different than that of self-exultation. Today's woman is getting equal pay for equal work. Yet, that does not seem good enough, she is still fighting. She wants to work and have children at the same time. How can this be? How can a mother leave her children for 40 hours a day to goto work and still have time to nurture, love and support her child? It can not be done, and if you really think you can do this, than you are lying to yourself! The children of working mothers are the delinquents of today. Those children with working parents, divorced parents, or drug abused parents have an 85% rate of juvenile delinquency. While those children whose mother stays at home have a 6% rate of juvenile delinquency. Ladys...is your child swearing? Lying, does he/she cheat or steal? Do they listen to music that talk a lot about sex, killing, or hate? Are they watching more TV than talking to you, Are they secretive, do they hang around children that get them in trouble or are bad influences? Are their grades a "B" or less? Does you child ever say things to you with disrespect?I truly hope not in all these cases. But, I must say, that every working mother that I have met, and that I have heard about, has a child that has 3 or more of the descriptions that I just gave above. I know that there are some women out there that are working because their husbands divorced them, and I do know that some women have husbands that barely make a good wage, and there also are dead husbands, I am not talking to them.
I am talking to the working Mom who needs to stay are home and probably needs to homeschool her children to get her children back on track to become a decent adult. If you do not, you will reap your rewards in your child's adult years, when he or she doesn't have time for you, when he or she makes you babysit more often then they take care of their own child, when they refuse to have children because children are to much of an inconvenience or a drain on the budget. All these things are ANTI_CHILD attitudes. The same anti-child attitude that Mom instilled in them when they were young.
How can that be pro-life?
-- posted by LTHaga
» DawnF - Re: Pro-Woman, Pro-Life IS an OXYMORON!
In response to message posted by LTHaga:Tammy, I'm not sure why you even stopped by here; you're clearly not a feminist mom and you clearly don't understand what feminism means. Your rant is, quite simply, ignorant and it's obvious that you haven't read any of my articles.
Dawn
-- posted by DawnF
» Sondakhan - Re: Pro-Woman, Pro-Life IS an OXYMORON!
Sadly, women do NOT make as much as men. I don't understand why anybody would be against women making as much money as men, regardless of whether you think women should "stay home" after they have children, because there are plenty of women who DON'T have children, and who don't PLAN to have children. And guess what...THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH A WOMAN WHO DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN. Feel free to show me the place in the Bible where Jesus says that women have to have children.Secondly, I would disagree with you that whether a person swears is a good indicator of whether he or she is going to be a criminal and a drug addict.
-- posted by Sondakhan
» oceana_moon - wow
Tammy you seem to have all the answers for everyone. Are you sure that it's a good idea to judge others before you have walked in their shoes for a moon.Personally, and I do call myself a feminist, I think that it would be much more healthy for fathers to also take part in their children's lives. How can they to that and be nurturing when they are working 40+ hours a week. I know that I am a much better mother when I get sometime to myself.
As far as the abortion question is concerned, I don't know what the answer is for anyone else. I choose to have 2 abortions one when I was 16 and one at 18. I know that my first daughter now is the first baby I have. I feel it in my bones.
Try reading Christian Northup's book Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom. There is a part in the book where a woman talks about having had an abortion and then later having a baby. When her baby was 3 years old one day the little girls said something to the effect of the first time I was in your tummy and you and dad weren't ready for me.
Thank you
oceana
-- posted by oceana_moon
» pantazis5 - Feminist Mothers
I wonder about this topic. I am a mother and I am "feminine" does that make me a feminist? I believe in AT HOME MOTHERS....does that mean I am not a feminist? My husband is my partner, does that make me a feminist? My husband believes as I do that my children should be raised at home, I guess that means I am not a feminist. I felt life inside of me when my babies were 10 weeks gestation....I do not believe in abortion, does that mean I am not a feminist?I am however a mother, and I am teaching my sons to open the doors for ladies, I am teaching my sons to remove their hats in public places and at the dinner table. I am teaching my sons to make their own beds and to do dishes. I also taught my daughter to mow the lawn......
Guess I do not qualify for your topic.
-- posted by pantazis5
» DawnF - Re: Feminist Mothers
I think I can say that it's likely that you don't "qualify" for the feminist title only because it sounds like you feel that your choices are the "right" choices. And I'm not just talking about abortion here. I think I made it clear that you can be a pro-life feminist (again, I'm not one but they're out there) but when you say that you "believe in at home mothers" does this mean you believe all mothers should be at home? If so, then no, I guess you're not a feminist.(Of course, I'm not the be all and end all of feminism and any woman has the right to claim that title if she feels that the feminist philosophy is one that suits her.)
But I feel strongly that feminism espouses the belief that we absolutely do not know what is right for other women. As the previous poster said, until we've walked in their shoes, we cannot pretend to know how another person should live his or her life.
Dawn
-- posted by DawnF
» Alicia7 - Re: Re: Feminist Mothers
In response to message posted by DawnF:In regard to Tammy, it always amazes me, these women who are so adamant about their beliefs that they would tell us working mothers that we are lying to ourselves if we think we can nurture our children and work at the same time. Aren't fathers just as important as mothers? My husband nurtures our children when I work and I nurture our children when he works. And once in a while Grandma picks up the slack when things get really crazy. I sincerely believe it does "take a village" and thankfully I have a village of concerned support that makes it possible to be all the mother I can be and still pursue the career I love. For this reason I cannot fathom NOT bringing any child we would conceive into this world. In that respect I believe I am a prolife feminist. Qualifying that by saying that we will not progress as a society if we begin to punish and arrest those women who are forced into the desperate situation we call abortion. If there were more positive support and choices for women, abortion would not be an issue. My job as a prolife feminist is to help those who feel desperate and give them the support they need to bring their baby into this world. The best way for me to do this is to be active in my community and that includes the work place. It is not necessary to spend 24-7 with your children to be an excellent mother.
-- posted by Alicia7
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