Guilt - Friend or Foe?

Top 2. Nov 19, 2003 8:52 AM

» mastiffs2005 - Re: that other Green eyed monster

In response to message posted by ravenfairie:

Well, I'm not a SAHM, but I'm a SAH-whatever I am LOL And even without kids, I don't get EVERYthing done! I also have OCD, so when the guilt monster gets me, it drags me under the bed and tries to chew my toes off LOL But I'm learning, bit by bit, that a happy home doesn't necessarily mean that my floors sparkle... it just means that we are happy smile

I do the little picking up and dishwashing "almost" every day, and on Mondays, I try to do a thorough cleaning (note the word "try") ... and when my hubby is home from work, we let everything else go and spend time enjoying each other.

From a healer's POV, guilt is a feeling that stems from shame... we shouldn't be ashamed of ourselves, as long as we are doing the best for ourselves and our family. When your kids grow up, what are they going to remember more? That the house was a little messy or that you always took time out to play with them?

I think y'all should be proud of yourselves for all the hard work that you DO, and not worry about what doesn't get done smile

Love & Hugs,
Dar

-- posted by mastiffs2005

Top 3. Nov 19, 2003 2:28 PM

» ravenfairie - Re: Re: that other Green eyed monster

In response to message posted by DarleneCheek:

I agree with you Darlene that guilt comes from feeling shameful. I have enough going on in my life that there isn't any room for eith of those emotions, yet still I struggle, but I am getting much better at letting it all go.

I also agree that I would rather have memories of playing with Owen over having the perfect house, so as much as the mess can bug me sometimes I think of my son's smiling face and it all goes away.

Anne

-- posted by ravenfairie

Top 4. Nov 19, 2003 2:51 PM

» Willow4 - Re: Re: Re: that other Green eyed monster

In response to message posted by ravenfairie:

Thank you both for posting. smile Darlene you have excellent point. I'm also with Anne, I'd much rather hang out with my kids than clean house.

I think my problem is that I'm very torn about working so many hours vs. being with my kids. I get aggravated that I'm gone so many hours during the week and then have to spend the weekend doing housework. I'd rather relax and play with the kids but if I don't do the housework, come Thursday the kids won't have clean clothes to wear to school.

I've always dreamed of finding that little niche thingy that I can do from home to make enough money to pay the bills. smile

-- posted by Willow4

Top 5. Nov 23, 2003 9:43 PM

» Zanzi - Perfection in the eye of the beholder

If someone doesn't like the way my house looks - Tough Doody! Call before you come, clean it yourself or get off my back.

For the first few years of being a SAHM, I was riddled with guilt ... especially when others would pile a lot of volunteer projects on me "since I had so much time".

I finally snapped out of it, when I realized that I am working for free, without holidays or lunch, no retirement plan to speak of, yet on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I learned to say "No", politely yet firmly. And, I learned to carve out time that I spend doing things that I enjoy. I also learned to see fingerprints on cabinets as "art" and little bits and pieces of paper all over the floor as proof that my daughter is being artistically trained. If someone comes in and the house looks like an explosion in a paper factory, they are always welcome to lend a hand and clean up.

Haven't had any takers, so far.

-- posted by Zanzi

Top 6. Nov 26, 2003 4:24 PM

» Willow4 - Re: Perfection in the eye of the beholder

In response to message posted by Zanzi:

Oh Sylvia, Bless your heart! LOL I just made my kids pitch in and pick up their own paper factory in my family room. smile They've learned how to make those paper footballs and have their own mini games.

No can truly be a beautiful word.

Thanks for posting and I hope you'll visit again. smile

-- posted by Willow4