Don't hate me because I'm Fat

» aball42 - Please Don't Hate me Because I'm Fat

Betty,

Again, I want to thank you for giving a voice to my frustration and pain.

I have experienced these hateful, hurtful comments from friends, family members, and yes, total strangers as well.

My question is: Why do our friends and family members believe they can change or help us out by "shaming" us? I just don't understand how you can say you love someone, and hurt them at the deepest level. There is no difference between "constructive criticism" and plain old criticism. Criticism stems from ignorance and helplessness.

To encourage and build someone up, you need to focus on the positives. Instead of shaming an overweight loved one for what they are eating, suggest that the two of you go for a walk in the park or on the beach. Love, never shames, and it most definitely does not demean or dehumanize. If you really want to help me, please don't hurt me.

-- posted by aball42

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» stuttgarter92 - Re: Please Don't Hate me Because I'm Fat

In response to message posted by aball42:
Angie, I see myself in all these stories. It brings back memories of the hurt, and pain of a childhood long gone. The insults from classmates, the affectionate fat names. Being left on the side lines if anyone group of children were involved in sporting activities. Always the last one picked. So much for self esteem.

The military will make you fit. The grueling daily, seven mile runs, the military weight standard, because us fat boys could'nt get down to 189 pounds when we had'nt weighted that since high school. Always feeling threatened...the "Slim Fast" survival techniques. A shake at breakfast, one a lunch, and a smorgasboard type dinner at night, to make up for all I had missed out on over the day. The "ButterPecan", Ice Cream Binges. A pint, NOT!!! Give me a half gallon to quench my appetite. Its a quick fix, though...Mr. Guilt will follow, I've done it again. I'd rather face the guilt, than rather face the expression of disbelief registered on my wifes face. This empty icecream container go's out to the garbage, quietly when no one is watching. The wake up call; my supervisor at work died of a massive heart attack, while sitting with his family for supper. While he was respected, and admired, a fellow employee commented that he was a "heart attack waiting to happen". He could have been talking to me....I'm 43 also. The change, my wife and I sell herbal products. A woman kept returning to her buying a protein shake mix. I ask my wife to find out what she was doing. I like what I heard...Its been 10 days now and I like the way things are going. I have a new confidence, and a pair of jeans hanging in my closet, I've not worn in 7 years. Look out size 36, here I come, I hope.

Willie

-- posted by stuttgarter92

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