depression ruining a relationship..help!: depression ruined our relationship

» stp123 - depression ruined our relationship

it feels good to know i'm not the only one going through this. my story is a little different though and it's killing me. i suffer from depression and was diagnosed over 10 years ago. i reluctantly went to therapy but it was the best thing for me, i still go to this day, and i've been on every medication known to man. after finally being diagnosed with severe ADD, which in turn was causing alot of my depression, i got the proper doctor and atleast right now the perfect mix of meds. unfortunately due to the ADD, i will be on meds the rest of my life. all of this said, you would think i would understand depression better than anyone, having lived it for so many years. i thought this until my boyfriend (now ex)
has slipped into a major depressive episode. we were together for 6 months, and extremely loving and kind to each other. everyone (including both of us) said we were so perfect together. within a short period of time, he went from this happy, fun person to a withdrawn, angry, drinking, unsexual,irresponsible person. i watched it happen, and figured i would be the best person to be around him because i completely understood what he is going through. it turned out to be the complete opposite. he started to distance himself from me, until he ultimately broke up with me. the thing is he says i'm the last person he wants to hurt and this has absolutely nothing to do with me. he says he hates the person he has become and doesn't think he will ever be the person he was before. i begged him to get help many times, siting my own experience. the more i tried to help, the more angry and distant he would get. he refuses to get help and said he will never take medication although he thinks it's good for me. i know he is completely ashamed of himself and got to where he couldn't even look me in the eyes. we talked a couple times via phone and e-mail, but i haven't heard back from him now in a week when i called just to say hi and see how he was. since this whole depression episode with him started, i slowly but surely have managed to slip back into my own depression again. i miss him so much and it kills me to see him doing this to himself. i seem to have a really hard time accepting the fact that it's not me that did something wrong, and i feel like he all of a sudden is unattracted to me. i keep blaming myself. i want to be with him more than anything i don't know what to do. i feel like he is never going to call again and all i do is cry.
does he have to hit his rock bottom before he will seek help and let me back in his life? anyone, please help with advice!!

-- posted by stp123