relationships with bipolar persons
- cherishedprinces
- ohsoconfuzed
- zig6
- liquid225
- razzledazzle47
- lynne1979
- hangininthere
- lynni31
- hangininthere
- lynni31
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» cherishedprinces - totally confused
In response to totally confused posted by razzledazzle47:You can e-mail it to me at mbrookewilliams@hotmail.com. Thank you for your help.
-- posted by cherishedprinces
» ohsoconfuzed - re: razzledazzle47 no answers
You are so right about having no answers. I think that we come on here looking for support and answers where we can get them and not feel so alone in our fight against BP. Most importantly we are also on here trying to find ways to help us understand behaviors of significant others and guidance about how to deal with this. Obviously there isn't always a right or wrong answer but it seems a lot trial and error.as for my guy situation, i sent him a message saying that i'd like to talk to him to catch up and see how his life is going, but i am confident that i won't be hearing from him. i'm pretty sure that he was out of it the night he called. it's too bad though because he's a great guy with these wonderful qualities, i just wish he would take and stick to his meds.
keep in touch razzledazzle47, i wanna know what happens with your guy.
-- posted by ohsoconfuzed
» zig6 - totally confused
In response to totally confused posted by lindseyrae71:Hi Lindsey, would you mind forwarding the articles you kindly said you'd send to Lynn. I could really do with that kind of info. I split up with my bi-polar boyfriend a couple of months ago, but we are still in touch. I'd just like to be able to clear things in my head and get closure. After reading all the postings on this site, I don't feel I'm strong enough to handle a relationship - and all it would entail - with this man, gorgeous and kind as he is. So any info to make sence of things and gain closure would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
-- posted by zig6
» liquid225 - my first time....
Hi everyone, I too, am new to this site. My girlfriend who I have been with for six months has BP. I have never taken it seriously until now. More recently, things have been happening are identical to what bipolar peole describe. I was telling my friend, who is a psych major, a situation about how my gf had an irrational, unwarrented rage...then the next hour told me how much she loved me etc.etc. I told him how this happens on a daily basis and he told me that this is exactly how bipolar peopple act. I don't have much time to write now, but I am hoping to save my relationship with her and I. We love each other very much, but I cannot deal with the break-ups evey other day for no reason. She will say that I Lied to her if I tell her that I am going to wear a specific shirt, but then change my mind. It is absurd to me, howver, now that I know she has bp - I am wondering if I can deal with it - or if is better for me to get out now (even though i love her more than anything) Anyway, I am happy to find a site where other people are going through the same thing. I will be in touch everyone
!
-- posted by liquid225
» razzledazzle47 - re: razzledazzle47 no answers
In response to re: razzledazzle47 no answers posted by ohsoconfuzed:I will it's very in the air though i think for me more than him. I love him a lot but there is a lot to think about and i think i am just going to take one day at a time and not look too much towards the future. what will be will be. I wish you the best~
-- posted by razzledazzle47
» lynne1979 - what to do
This is my first posting. The ironic thing is that I am a mental health counselor. I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months and although my professional instinct suggested bipolar a little while ago, his recent behaviors have confirmed many of my suspicions. I have spoken with his mom who agrees with these questions. He has no current health insurance and is not on any meds. This is the first time it has come up as a real possibility. Are there any tips for managing the relationship until he can get stabilized with treatment? How do you get to a point where you don't take the break up threats and roller coasters too seriously without jeopardizing your trust in the other person?-- posted by lynne1979
» hangininthere - totally confused
In response to totally confused posted by cherishedprinces:Hi there. I too am dating a guy who has bp1. We've been seeing each other about the same amount of time as well. A few weeks ago, he told me we were finished...goodbye forever. It was delivered in such a way that I believed it was over and he was gone from my life. I cried for two days. I cried because I was mourning the loss of someone I was starting to really love, and who said he loved me. I knew that I had to accept it, so I sent him a message letting him know that my feelings for him were real and unconditional and that I would always be there for him. Two days later, he sent me an instant message. It was rather formal. He again said goodbye. Several times. I finally told him that hearing that was very hard for me. I didn't want us to be over. He said he felt the same, and invited me over. Of course, I flew! I was so grateful to be able to see him again, after thinking I never would.
That was 2 weeks ago. I have chatted with him, but haven't seen him. I continued to study as much about bipolar as I can find. My conclusion is that even though I love him, I may not be able to accept this kind of life. I will always support him and be his friend. I'm taking it day by day, but I realized that it does not serve either of us if I can't fully commit to being by his side and he can't accept that a relationship will require some action on his part.
I know this may not answer your question, but know that many of us are going through the exact same thing. We all deserve to be loved. I believe we owe it to ourselves and the ones we care about to determine if we can make the commitment to be by their side, no matter what.
My guy means the world to me, as I'm sure yours does. We just have to decide if we want to be their partners or their friends. It should be a mutual decision that's made during the calm periods.
I wish you the best of luck and happiness.
-- posted by hangininthere
» lynni31 - totally confused
In response to totally confused posted by hangininthere:Well, here is an update on my situation. After waiting for him to contact me for over a month, I started getting impatient and sending emails telling him that I had feelings for him and was pretty heartbroken etc. Unfortunately I made the mistake of putting the blame on myself as I was trying to figure out what went wrong and sent several emails apologizing for everything I must have done wrong.. I think I analyzed the whole time I was seeing him and picked apart the whole relationship(it's so hard to talk in emails without things getting misunderstood and things I was saying I don't even think he remembered) finally I asked him to just tell me if he was planning to see me again and he replied that his life revolves around church, gym and work right now that that he was "sorry that i feel that way" like he had nothing to do with it, which made me a little angry that he let me sit around and wait while he was moving on with his life. So I sent another email back to him ,putting some blame on him for letting me wait and got a reply almost immediately where he said he was going to see me again but.. MY emails were "confused" to which I responded with well who wouldn't be confused by what you did and that normal people don't shut off overnight and anyone would be confused by that, I probably wasn't as nice as I could be but after waiting like that I felt like I was just being blown off. I guess if I knew then what I know now about BP, I would have been more understanding but none of it made sense to me and now he has made it seem like I am the one with the problem and says he plans on buying a house (unrealistic considering he has been working only one week and doesn't even have a place to call his own) I have told him I that I really liked him and am sorry things didn't work out and as long as it makes sense in his mind that is all that matters. That was a week ago and I have not heard back, and don't really expect to. ( I would love to hear from him, but I don't think it's gonna happen )
-- posted by lynni31
» hangininthere - totally confused
In response to totally confused posted by lynni31:Wow, I can totally relate to what you are saying and feeling. It is so hard not to get angry. I would never take this crap from a guy w/o bp! I don't understand what it is about communicating on the computer with them. It must be safer or easier to communicate, I don't know. I agree with you though that it is SO easy to misunderstand and miscommunicate via computer. With my guy, it's instant messaging. Drives me nuts! Sometimes I'll just say 'call me', and he will. Other times he'll say no he has to go, or act like I never said it.
Another thing that's hard is knowing whether the behavior is them or bp. Until you understand the disorder and get to really know the person, you just can't tell.
Right now I'm trying not to let fear drive my feelings and actions with him. I came into this relationship with trust issues to begin with. Boy, am I being tested!
I'm sorry you haven't heard from him, but maybe you should be relieved. At least you won't have to be on this wild ride anymore. Good luck.
-- posted by hangininthere
» lynni31 - totally confused
In response to totally confused posted by hangininthere:Yep, I got angry, then I was sorry I got angry and tried to take it back, then he got confused, I think he misunderstood most of what I was trying to say anyways. This guy also goes around telling everyone he has ADD (there is NO WAY it's add ) and I don't even know if he really believes that or knows better. After my last email which kind of informed him that he has a problem , I was going to send another one taking it back but have decided to stand my ground because I only stated the truth. I also went into the relationship with trust issues..I felt like he was someone I could trust with my heart, strange how he seemed to want me so bad at the time and now feels so differently. If he had met someone else.. now that is something I can make sense out of. Seems like a lot of people on here are going thru the BP being interested and having all kinds of feelings till they get the other person to fall for them and then they walk away, anybody got an opinion on that ? Do they lose interest and get bored once they get what they want? Or are they just afraid of getting hurt ? Is it the thrill of the chase.. maybe a way of making themselves feel better ? This guy claims that he meant what he said about caring for me.. after I pushed relentlessly for an answer. Part of me wonders if he even remembers saying those things..
-- posted by lynni31
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