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relationships with bipolar persons
This archived discussion is "read only". « Previous 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 Next » » espiriata - Re: MY Bipolar ex boyfriend In response to MY Bipolar ex boyfriend posted by rdh:I don't think giving him money is a good idea--he'll just use it to buy drugs. If he's like my ex, he'll continue to beleive that he's in control of everything and won't get help on his own. Is there some way you could talk to some of the family members that you've met about it? I know that's hard becuase they could easily not beleve you and resent you for suggesting that something serious is wrong with him, especially since you're the ex. Otherwise that, I don't know what to tell you. Sounds like you're in the same boat I'm in. It does feel better to know I'm not the only out there dealing with these issues. -- posted by espiriata » espiriata - Re: Re: Advice In response to Re: Advice posted by rdh:Thanks for your reply. I supposed my real question is--how do I let him know that I'd like to support him but can't be in a romatic relationship with him any longer without him flying of the handle? Is there some way to avoid him throwing a fit and rejecting me and my offers of help? I suppose this is a subjective thing with no real answers, but i'd appreciate any insights or advice if anyone has any. -- posted by espiriata » julilo7 - Re: Re: Re: Re: advice? Thank you all for writing. The support is great. Its hard to speak with any of my friends about my current situation because I have a hard time verbalizing all the complicated troubles that go along with my relationship. Believe me, I have tried my hardest to be understanding, patient, and caring. Noone really understands the pridcament im in because i feel terrible letting them in on my ex bfs disorder. It sucks. His probs are definetly exacerbated by his horrible childhood-he was abandoned and left to himself for most of his life, so i believe this is why he decided to be on his own throughout his battle uphill. I still have a horrible time dealing with his confusing ups and downs and have tried for a year not to take it personal. Its difficult! I am a giver and a lover and a person that can at times be needy but i dont think that warrants someone to feed me with feelings of hurt and pain. I know that he cares for me but im tired of being his punching bag and his only outlet for everything. Still living together and accepting his decision to terminate the relationship is like a slap in my face. For all that i have been through with him HE has decided to let go and walking around our apt together and him showing no feelings of loss or frustration only makes me feel worse. It is seriously an unhealthy cycle adn in the end im sure it will be for the best. NOw im just left with feelings of guilt and failure-as i obviously have not been the greatest support for him-ive only seemed to worsened the problems.Thanks again for listening . julilo In response to Re: Re: Re: advice? posted by Fairdinkum: -- posted by julilo7 » julilo7 - Re: MY Bipolar ex boyfriend You know ive been with someone who is ailed with this problem and to tell you the truth it is not at all easy to be part of. However, if you love him and want to be there for him, IM sure your support will help him tremendously. Remember, you can never help anyone unless they want to help themselves. and even then it is a long journey. Bipolar is just one of those disorders that someone, either the one with it or a significant other, has to educate themselves and work really diligently at. If you dont have it worked out then a healthy relationhsip is pretty close to impossible. This is just my experience with it and hope that your friend finds peace soon.take care and be strong julilo In response to MY Bipolar ex boyfriend posted by rdh: -- posted by julilo7 » Light0905 - Re: Re: Re: Advice In response to Re: Re: Advice posted by espiriata:Wow, I've been surfing the net the past couple days trying to understand what's going on and what to do in my situation and your situation matches up the best. I've been dealing with a lot of pain and hurt in the past few days due to a really close friend calling it quits on our relationship. -- posted by Light0905 » chloet7478 - Re: Re: Re: Advice Like the person before stated don't even attempt it in one of what I call there 'swings' My ex is bipolar/schizaphentic he is 51 and has never been diagnosed with it. I just know that he is and I offered to give him support while he tried to get treatment, he said he didn't need it. I was like, you either do it or we break up. We broke up and now I don't have to walk on eggshells every single minute he's aroung trying not to trigger his mood into overdrive. His yelling and his tantrums were just too much. People with this disorder are very hard to talk to and once they get put on medicine you will have a hard time getting them to take it. My friend who is a female was on the meds and she would take it and then start feeling normal and decide she doesn't need the meds. Within one week she was back to her old ways. I stayed with my ex for 3 years and after the first year I started realizing that his temper was far more than a mood swing and sometimes lasted for 4 to 5 days at a time. I am out of it now, but I have got some healing to do mentally and a lot of confidence to get back. I wish I would have let go a lot sooner. When they get in there mood swings people with bipolar just seem so evil and it's not even like there themselves, it can be so scary, and it should be what if they go off the deep end, for a minute and just lose it, at least that's what i was always scared of.-- posted by chloet7478 » mt43 - Re: Re: Re: Re: Advice In response to Re: Re: Re: Advice posted by chloet7478:Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years and i have a similar situation. Last year he admitted to a drug abuse that he started again and when he confronted me he promised he will stop and wanted to make us work. We worked thru it and a year later I am confronted with the same problem. We live in florida but when we come uo to NY he does his drug thing here and there. He lied to me saying that he doesnt but only last month did i finally get it out of him that he has done it because i had validate proof and how could he lie again. This weekend I packed my stuff when he was at work and went back home because I found a pot pipe. I was sick of his yelling at me and tantrums and saying I need therapy. He told me the pot pipe was from the workers who were renovating our kitchen. To me that may have been true but why would you let them smoke pot in our house and not throw out the pot pipe when they left. Anyway I have to go on thinking that what he tells me is lies because how can you trust someone after him lying to me and then finally telling me the truth that he is doing the drugs in NY. I was in a tough predicament to leave but he needs help not me. I will go for thepary because I am angry and I will have to learn how to trust someone again. I refuse to speak with him because when I lived with him he didnt speak to me about these issues and now that I left he wants to discuss them. I just want to know if I made the right decision and do you think that He really is not doing the drugs down in Florida as he says? -- posted by mt43 » julilo7 - Re: Re: Re: Re: Advice In response to Re: Re: Re: Advice posted by chloet7478:I am sorry that you have to go through all of this. Trust me it is not easy. bipolar has a way of manipulating situations and making you confused when you are on the other end. I wholeheartedly believe that no relationship can ever work if the bi person is not on meds. Its good to hear that I am not the only one who has seen these volatile outbursts-they are scary and that what caused my ex to enter the hospital. i guess the only thing you can hope for is that he either hits rockbottom and gets help or he helps himself. be well and take care of yourself. -- posted by julilo7 » eschley - help I recently had a relationship with a person whos bi-polar.She also has alchohol and drug problems. She has beaten the coke problem But started abusing booze again. Binge drinking.I lived with her for 2 months and knew her for 6months before that. I was trying to help her with the drug and alchohol problems and until i read your forums didn't realize the extent of her bi-polar disorder.Everything i've read is so very helpful.Thank god cause i felt so alone.When we were living together she wouldn't or actually couldn't drink cause i woulnd't get her and booze. eventually she got very annoyed with me. About a month after moving in my dad had cancer surgery and i had to spend alot of time staying in a different town. She was very upset about this but said she understood. I was very upset about my father being so sick but also about leaving her alone cause she hates it.I was very torn.I actually started talking about moving out cause my dad was so sick but was unsure of what to do.when my dad started getting better i realized my mistake and called her up. To my surprise she chewed me out for not getting my things out and accused me of he hawing around about moving out.She told me her mother would move my stuff if she has too.I told her i was coming home and would move my stuff out tonite. The next thing i know she call me back and says she moved it out for me with a new guy she met!! I was very upset and still am. When i reached her place she was crying and apoligized. She said she loves me but isn't in love with me.We spent a lot of time together over the last 8 months and were hardly ever apart. She says she misses me and loves me. Until recently i could not understand how she could get over me so fast but know i realize it could be the binge drinking and bi-polar.She had this new guy move in 3 weeks after she met him. Its all happening so fast i didn't know what to think. She also tells me she loves me and i'm very special to her cause i did so much to help her and was there for her when no one else was. Even when i was helping my dad she would drink secretly when i came home.also when i got chewed out that night she told me she hadn't taking her meds for 3 days. I too love this lady very much and would do anything for her and did do anything for her. I'm very hurt and feel very foolish.I guess i should leave her alone but i also have the problem of working with her too.It makes things very diffult cause she acts like nothing happened. She even talks about her boyfriend to meand all the fun stuff they do. Mostly drinking. even sexual stuff!! I must be nuts!! I don't know why i listen. I guess i don't want to get her mad.Well i guess this is the disorder and alchohol talking so i shouldn't take it personel. This forum did help me alot so thank u for listening. If u have any advice please email me at schley444@hotmail.com -- posted by eschley » eschley - one more thing In my last message i forgot another inportant thing. She has never been able to tell me why she was so angry with me. I suggested that maybe it was because i talked about leaving when i said i wouldn't and i wouldn't buy her booze also might have made her mad at me cause she said she wanted to drink wiith me and this was something i would never do cause she knows shes a alcholic. She denied this but still couldn't say why she was so mad. She told me she knows it soesn't make sense cause i've been nothing but great with her and really been there for her. All she could say was maybe she is just mean at times and thats the way she is. The last time i talked with her she hadn't taken her meds for three weeks. So coupled with the binge drinking i guess i can see somewhat what was going on.She likes to drink to the point of alchohol poisning.She now has her boyfriend cut her off before she has too much.lol I guess its only a matter of time before this relationship explodes too. I guess i'll have to take the high road and try to stay out of it and take care of myself. Im very hearbroken over this.I hope i can get over this soon. time will tell. Thanks again for listening. any advice email me at schley444@hotmail.com-- posted by eschley « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 Next » Please follow the guidelines set forth in the Suite101 Posting Etiquette when adding to the discussion. |
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