Managing Against Tomorrow - Suicide Prevention, Part I
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- catheri948
- catheri948
- mcman
- Jennyag
- catheri948
- mcman
- catheri948
- mcman
- tmsdia
- AnnWachel
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» catheri948 - Re: depression
In response to message posted by catheri948:i know it will pass and i know it will come back. i am seeing a psychiatrist and taking meds. one of the reasons i don't discuss it with people is because they don't think it is a real illness. they think you can go buy a new pair of shoes and it will make you feel better. they don't realize the depth of my despair and pain.
catherine
-- posted by catheri948
» catheri948 - Re: Re: depression
In response to message posted by mcman:i am in treatment. i talk to my psychiatrist but never manage tell her how i really feel. i don't know the right words to use and even if i did they remain locked deep in my soul. this is
the first time i have even come close to expressing myself.
catherine
-- posted by catheri948
» mcman - Re: Re: Re: depression
In response to message posted by catheri948:Hi, Catherine. You might want to try keeping a journal. Many people find writing a lot easier than divulging their innermost thoughts to a stranger. You can then copy and paste bits and pieces from your journal to show to your pdoc. Or maybe you will be ready to start talking once you've started writing. Keep in mind, your pdoc or therapist is only as good as what you tell him or her. They can't take your temperature or do a blood test, so you really have to communicate.
-- posted by mcman
» Jennyag - Re: Re: Re: Re: depression
In response to message posted by mcman:Catherine, John is exactly right in what he says. I too could not talk despite a deep desire to do so. I found that by keeping a little notebook in my handbag I could either, when I felt like it or when I had a few minutes privacy, write down what I was feeling, what was happening to me. At first I could not bear my therapist to read this with me in the room so I used to give it to him first and when he had read it he would then ask me in. Later I could sit whilst he read it. But it did make it much easier to communicate because he was then able to ask the questions that allowed me to open up and start to talk about my problems. Do try it.
-- posted by Jennyag
» catheri948 - Re: Re: depression
In response to message posted by Jennyag:i can't speak it or write it. the depression is locked in my soul. i really don't think i will ever find the key.
catherine
-- posted by catheri948
» mcman - Re: Re: Re: depression
In response to message posted by catheri948:Hi,Catherine. Then you may want to read about other people's experiences with depression. There is no shortage of first-hand accounts. Some published author or someone on the web is bound to have put into words something that makes you say, "Yes, that's me." Then you can say, "I feel like the author of such and such," and paraphrase the author's commentary. This may be the key to the lock that gets the words flowing. I stress that it is critically important to be able to communicate with your doctor or psychiatrist or therapist. This website has a paid creative writing course you might want to check out. Click on the Suite University logo at the top left. You'll learn all the tricks to getting those elusive thoughts into written words.
-- posted by mcman
» catheri948 - Re: Re: Re: Re: depression
In response to message posted by mcman:i have just ordered a book by william styron. he writes about depression. i have heard that it is quite good. i will also check out the website.
thank you
catherine
-- posted by catheri948
» tmsdia - Re: Re: Re: depression
In response to message posted by catheri948:For me, depression kind of sneaks out in bursts of fear-based anger, crying fits, hysteria if I'm not able to talk about it. Sometimes, other people can understand anger better then depression. Or at least relate to it better. One of the hardest things to explain to anyone who hasn't experienced it is "why". For so long, I would be asked why I was depressed and I had no reason that stood up to any kind of logical scrutiny. It was just a fact of my life. I'm lucky because the new SSRI's help me a lot, and after something like 25 years I know what it feels like to have "normal" blue periods - a few hours, or maybe a day of feeling kind of sad. For so long, my mood swings seemed almost normal to me and it wasn't till I stopped having them that I began to realize how extreme they really were, especially on the down side. The one thing that helps me is that I made a promise when I was 29 that I wouldn't commit suicide because I didn't want to leave that legacy or guilt to my kids. Sometimes that's been a really hard promise to keep.
Writing poems helped me deal with the feelings, when I had no where else to turn. Not good poems, but certainly heartfelt ones, but even they fell short of what I felt inside.
Anyway, I hope you can find a way to express what you feel, even if it's not complete. It does help.
dia
-- posted by tmsdia
» AnnWachel - Re: Re: Re: depression
In response to message posted by catheri948:Catherine: I'm sure you have talked to God about this problem. I do everyday. He is the only reason I am here. Read your Bible, listen to sermons on TV, keep your Christian radio on and pray, pray, pray. Ask God to take this oppression off of you and if you do not believe in God then tell him, and then ask him to reveal himself if He is real. You don't have to believe but you can ask for His presence in your life. This depression is not of God because the Kingdom of God is rightousness, peace and joy. This depression is demonic and you need to be set free. I dare you to pray this prayer even if you don't believe and He will make His presence known. He is Real. I still struggle but if it weren't for Him I would not be here. Also, if there is any unforgiveness in your life, you have to let it go. This is the root of all pain. Whatever you are holding onto, whatever it may be, ask God to take it away so you can be free of this horrible pain and suffering you are going through. May God Bless You. He is Real. Ask Him Please to come into your heart and believe in Him. May God work miracles in your life.
In Christ,
Joy
-- posted by AnnWachel
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