Depression Affecting My Life
- LelandSDenning
- Sumr_wind
- ConsiderThis
- IMADAG2
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» LelandSDenning - Depression Affecting My Life
Alright, I'm really not in the mood to do this because I'm majorely ticked off, but that is mainly because I've started to hide my weaknesses now. Anyways, I've been feeling depressed ever since school started again somewhere in January, and for some reason I just havn't been feeling well ever since. Yes, there are times when I feel great, but immediatly afterwards, I feel like I've fallen into a pit of despair.I think I've traced the source to school, and the future career that I want to get. The problem is that I don't like doing any of the work at school, I'm slow at doing the work, and learning isn't exactly my strong point. So I feel very left behind everyone else, and not liking to do my work has gotten to the point where I just don't bother with it. I still manage to get most of my homework done, but I'm afraid that I'm going to most of my classes, and not even make it to High School. By the way, I'm currently in 9th grade, my Junior High goes from 7th to 9th.
Also, in my depressed state, I feel like there is nothing that interests me, and that I'll never have a enjoyable job, or life ahead of me. During one of my weekends where I was happy for once, I knew I wanted to do something with creating games, working on fixing computers with my dad, or if all else fails, become a waitor. I also have other careers in mind, but the fact that I hate any type of work doesn't help with matters, and I feel like I'll never enjoy anything. This will thus throw me down to becoming a waitor at a casino, I'll hate the work, I'll get bad pay, and I'll come home to not have anything to do. My life will just be a total mess.
Ugh, why does life have to be such a pain in the rear end? I know that there is a lot to enjoy out there, but the only way for that to happen is to work, the one thing I hate, and have no will left in my body to do. I keep thinking about death everyday now. Wouldn't it just be easier to go to Heavan, get away from all the problems, and have whatever you want there instead of living in Hell right where we are? *Sigh.* Anyways, I probably didn't make myself clear enough, and probably left out a lot of details, but hopefully understands what is wrong with me, and can help me out.
I don't want to be helped because then once I'm fine, they'll make me do work, but then I relize that if I'm happy, I might just start enjoying the work I do at school a lot more than I do now. So anyways, that is why I posted this up here, to get help from all of you fine people, and see if I can be cured of this curse...atleast for a little while.
-- posted by LelandSDenning
» Sumr_wind - Re: Depression Affecting My Life
In response to Depression Affecting My Life posted by LelandSDenning:Hi! I Don't know if this will help you, but I have this urge to post regarding your own situation witdepressionon. I have been there, survived and am still breathing at age 47. It was not easy, this surviving, but NOW I can admit, I am happy. Get your self somprofessionalal help, yes even medication. The most important factor, I believe is talk therapy...find someone!!!!! A guide who will help you honestly to find what your fears & anxiety are about & how to deal with them. I am also a firm believer in if you leave this world, thinking the nexexistencece will be better.......well what if it is worse??? Stay and do what needs to be done.........you do have the strength to gethrewru this.
-- posted by Sumr_wind
» ConsiderThis - Re: Depression Affecting My Life
In response to Depression Affecting My Life posted by LelandSDenning:Hi Leland,
Here's what I picked up from what you wrote... that you are having a hard time in school, and that is draining, and you feel depressed.
Okay, so this is how I relate to that. I used to be a quick, quick learner. But then I lived through a lot of stress and ... this is where it's hard to explain because it's complicated and it also didn't happen over night.
Basically, when I was feeling exceptionally hopeless I happened to notice that I had quite prominent ridges on my fingernails, which I had not had before.. though I don't know when they developed because I was stressed for several years.
About that same time I was given a B12 test and I was low. (It's probably important to know that our low for vitamin B12 is about 300 points lower than in some other countries that take it more seriously.)
It took two years for me to get B12 replacement therapy, but when I did, it was ... gosh, it was like I was reborn.
Okay... so since then I've had neuro-psych tests, and I've lost quite a lot of my working memory and processing speed, which makes it much harder to learn than before.
However because I got tetanus I was prescribed more B12, and I had a lot of time to play computer games... and my mind is improving.
So, you may find learning hard because it has been stressful for you to be in school, and you may be low on B12. There are alot of symptoms that you can review, to see if any apply to you.
Depression is one major symptom of low B12.
I hope that's at least somewhat clear.
-- posted by ConsiderThis
» IMADAG2 - belated replies
In response to Re: Depression Affecting My Life posted by ConsiderThis:Hi Leland.
I don't know if you've checked back for responses but I'm guessing that with the passing of 15 months since you posted here without luck, everything's changed for you..hopefully for the better.
I don't know about the need for B12 (if one eats healthily) but for everyone suffering depression it is really worthwhile to get a check up by the doctor to rule out any physical causes for it.
-- posted by IMADAG2
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