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Different perspective
This archived discussion is "read only".
» joyfulplace - Hi Lynette, Hi Lynette,This is an interesting topic. I would like to offer a different perspective . These may be patterns of behaviour that people have had to develop to cope with particular types of hurts or mistreatment over time. One way to help them might be to offer a positive gesture whenever we see the pattern running in the person. That way we help to go against and interrupt the pattern and that weakens it. Just my thought. Marilyn -- posted by joyfulplace » silverlady - Re: Hi Lynette, Hi Marilyn,Yes, I should have mentioned something along those lines too. I plan to write a follow up to this on the games we play ourselves e.g The Martyr etc. My intention though, was to help people use tactics when they are wounded by someone who hurt them, when they themselves don't have adequate boundaries in place. This has happened to me, so I speak from personal experience. One day a woman who is known for her nosiness, really invaded my boundaries when I was travelling home on the bus. I felt exposed and felt as though I were wearing a mask, as I smiled when I really felt like crying. Since then I have used the 'ping pong' method explained in the article and it really works for me. The issue in question was something I had not really dealt with, so in a way it was a good thing that she 'rattled my cage', but I will not give her the opportunity to hurt me like that again. She was aware of what she was doing as she does it to others too. Let me know the suggestions you have for positive gestures as I will include them in the follow up. Warmly, Lynette. In response to message posted by joyfulplace: -- posted by silverlady
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