Childfree Marriages

» mmeblueberry - Another Reason for Childfree Marriage

Hi, Ms. Swann. I've enjoyed all the articles on this page, as a CFCer. I was going to offer another reason for why childfree people marry, from my own perspective.

I am a strongly religious person, but one who prefers to do her own thinking. That is, I believe the goal of a committed romantic relationship is marriage, but not necessarily children. Fortunately, I attend church someplace where people are tolerant and respectful of differing views on childrearing; unfortunately, everyone I've met there either has children or wants them. It means I probably won't find someone to marry in that body of people, but it does not stop me from thinking marriage is important. And it has not convinced me that I should suppress my beliefs and bring children into this burdened world.

I stopped attending another church, in years past, when I was tapped for "daycare duty" (something they only asked women to do, for mystifying reasons) and declined. Regretfully, they pressed me for a reason, and I was honest: I am not interested in children and don't want to spend that much time around them. I found the environment very cold after that revelation, so I left.

I do know two couples who are strong in religious faith, and childfree - one by choice, and one due to infertility. Curiously and wonderfully, both couples are very passionate believers that God has reasons for keeping them childfree, and that their childless state is divine means of providing them the time to serve others. All are active volunteers for charitable causes: Habitat for Humanity, the Humane Society/SPCA, and the local food bank.

It just goes to show: deep faith and independent thinking can be a powerful combination for childfree activism.

-- posted by mmeblueberry

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» Authoress - Welcome

Hello & welcome to the forum!
Thank you so much for your insightful and interesting comments. You gave another perspective that many do not think about and I am sure that other CFers will appreciate your viewpoint.

Again, welcome and hope you'll return to read the future articles and express your opinions anytime!

--Cara Swann

-- posted by Authoress

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» davo - Terrific Site

Cara, this is a terrific site , all of your contributers are thoughtfull and their contributions heartfelt. I appreciated thoughts on the Human population burden and our planet,
my country Australia has a fragile Ecology but hopefully an increasingly enlightened community?
must observe that Dan , Religious Humour editor,
attends some of the more dynamic sites(IOI).
G'day Dan, see you Atheism IOI? H'roo.

-- posted by davo

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» nosprogsAH - Glad to be CF

Great article, Ms. Swann. As a CF female, I do have equality in my marriage and would not settle for less since I am not forced to stay in an unhappy situation for the sake of children or out of fear of economic insecurity. Many women I know who are mothers complain that their once-egalitarian marriages ceased to exist after the birth of a baby. One friend, an American Buddhist, married a fellow Buddhist from her group. My friend thought that her husband was an "enlightened" man until the children were born. After this woman became a mother, her husband behaved like thirteenth century sexist male. The marriage was no longer happy but existed for the sake of the kids. My friend was no longer a person in her own right but an indentured servant to her husband and was only valued for birthing a male heir.

Women basically ruin their lives by having children. Their dreams and goals get put on the backburner to appease the tyrant husbands and the demands of childrearing. Even if the women do divorce, their lifestyle drops while a man's lifestyle is much better since females get stuck with raising the kids with little or no support from the ex-husbands.

-- posted by nosprogsAH

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» nosprogsAH - More on childfree marriages

As a CF, I made a conscious decision to marry. I did not need to settle for any man just to be able to have a baby before I got too old. Also, I did not need to judge a man by his wallet being that I am fully self-supporting since I am childfree-by-choice and have no need to have a man as a meal ticket the way many women who want kids do.

-- posted by nosprogsAH

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