The Aftermath of Foster Care
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- The_moose
- srthorne32
- mjc3
- LizHernandez
- mnky222
- sam12
- dazedforlife1
- christyg
- moses88s
- deut30doz
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» srthorne32 - Re: Life After Foster Care
In response to your question.I was a foster child most of my life, I knew my birth parents. They did not want anything to do with me. So i just went on with my life.
Some of us grow up not trusting anybody or anything so we have a hard time with life. Not all end up in jail. But we all have problems loving someone.
I had a child out of wedlock so I would have someone to love me. I love my son with all of my hart. And wouanythingnythin to keep him happy.
-- posted by srthorne32
» mjc3 - Still alone without family
My mother got rid of me when I was seven. She never wanted me and I never knew who my father was. I have no brothers or sisters. I lived in an orphanage, in foster homes and with mentally-ill relatives through out my childhood. I was molested and verbally abused. I believe my childhood has affected my ability to bond with people. I'm thirty-four and still haven't married or have children. I have chosen men that are old enough to be my father my whole adult life. The quest for a father figure has been a waste of time. Now I am extremely lonely since I haven't tried to develop a family of my own with husband and child. I can't seem to meet a quality fellow and I wonder if this has had to do with my lack of ability to bond to another. I'm just beginning to learn to do that, but continue to run into the wrong men. I fear never having a family and being all alone my whole life. I especially feel sad during the holidays when it really hits me that I am all alone-like a lost soul searching for something that I cannot find. The point I'm making is that one becomes scarred after going through foster care, but healing is possible. In fact, I am a positive person and quite upbeat, but the emptiness is underlying and does surface periodically. However, I have healed because I accept what has happened to me, I just don't like it.-- posted by mjc3
» LizHernandez - Life after foster care/Help
I am trying to obtain information about what actions I can take in order to get my children. 10-yrs. ago I had a bad divorce. My ex threaten to kill me and my children. His mother and her best friend then said that they would help me. To make a long story short I was tricked into signing adoption papers to her friend. I tried every opportunity to see my children but the woman wouldn't let me. I recently went out of state since my oldest turned 17, I thought maybe she would have the right to come home. I went to adopted woman's home which someone who she knew showed me & took me to where she was living and I was able to reunite w/all my children. I found out that 2 of my 4 children (my recently 17 yr. old & 16 yr. old has chosen to leave the adopted woman & live in foster home (since around age 13-14), to get away from adopted woman. Now I found out from my 16 yr. old that my 13-yr. old is now trying to go to foster care as well to leave that lady's home. She has a history of being investigated because of physically abusing all my children. Yet she would never let me have them as I pleaded with her numerous times. Now the child protective srvc's. have been having an open case due to her abusive behavior. My children all told me of the things she would do & is still doing. I don't know what I can do to get my children. They all want to come home with me-still after her not allowing me to see them for the past 8 yrs. The previous 2 yrs. were because I would just show up without her knowledge while she would be visiting my ex's. mother's house. Not that she wanted me to see my children. Now I am trying to find out what can I do. I am in Texas and they live in Tennessee. If anyone could let me know what steps I can take to get my children out of their present situation, I would greatly appreciate any help (info.)! The judge told the adoptive woman that a thorough investigation will be done on her. The judge stated that apparently something is wrong since this is already the 3rd child wanting out of her care. My baby is 11 yrs. old. What steps can I take?-- posted by LizHernandez
» mnky222 - Re: Life after Foster Care
I was also a foster child. I am currently doing reasearch for a college paper to prove there are successful foster children, who do infact make something of themselves.Any story you have (e.g. your own) would be extremely helpful. Thankyou.-- posted by mnky222
» sam12 - Re: Re: Life after Foster Care
In response to Re: Life after Foster Care posted by mnky222:I am curious to know as to what you consider a "successful life"? Is it a college graduate? a prominent member of society? or just a functioning member of society?
I too was a foster child, ten years in the system, all the former foster children that I came to know--I can't say we are "successful" maybe successful to make it through it. Most of the children that I knew, turned into drug addicts, jail birds, prostitutes, etc. I do not know of any college graduates. I barely made it through high school from being shipped from home to home, I had to earn enough credits in the required courses just to graduate high school, which meant taking two math course or whatever it may have been in a single year. It is a lousy system, that needs some type of transition phase to prepare you to become a functioning member of society.
-- posted by sam12
» dazedforlife1 - The Foster Care System in New York
I am 26 years old now. I am finishing my degree in Psychology. My life has not exactly been peaches and cream. More like rotten peaches and sour cream. I started off in the foster care system in Arizona. My first experience in foster care is a blur because I was only about a year and a half old. My dearest mother decided that she wanted drugs and alcohol more than she wanted me so she gave me up to Social Services. I was in foster care for 1 year and went back to my mother. To this day she claims that I was slower than the rest of the kids (3 others besides me). Now I stayed there for 3 more years. When I was 5 I went back into foster care because my step father decided to use me as his own little torture subject. And again dearest mother didn't do anything to stop it. I used to go to the nurses office every morning with bruises to eat my dinner of milk and crackers. My parents thought a 5 year old child should not eat. Finally the school nurse figured out something wasn't right and called social services. Now I was put back into foster care went through three different foster homes and a group home for young children in three years. What I thought was my last stop turned out to be my last stop in Arizona. In 1987 arizona social services found my real dad in New York. Now mind you I was 8 years old and my social worker decided that I should decide for myself wether or not I should stay in the foster home that was going to adopt me or go live with my dad. Naturally I wanted to be with my real dad so I came to New York on a plane by myself. Lived with him for 6 months. Big brother decided that he didn't want to live there anymore and we got taken away from my father. Again I was pushed into another foster home. I was put in 8 different foster homes and 2 group homes. Nobody wanted to take care of me. As a result of childhood trauma, I have Borderline Personality disorder and I am emotionally disturbed. I was abused in my foster homes both physically and sexually and well as emotionally. I finally stopped at a group home in central New York and graduated from High school. I was put in a foster home after I graduated from High school while I was in my first year of college. I failed out of school. Left Foster care at 19 and went on welfare. I lived job to job, apartment to park bench to apartment until 2001 when i went back to school and got my associates degree. In 2003 I was right back into the mix of the welfare system. I got a job at the local Burger King and have been there ever since. I am starting my second semester towards my BA in Psychology and things are finally starting to look up. But the question is, would my past be different if the Foster care system were more secure and helpful to young adults who are going to be or who are leaving the system???-- posted by dazedforlife1
» christyg - Re: Re: Life after Foster Care
In response to Re: Life after Foster Care posted by mnky222:I don't if my story will help or not but here it goes. I was raised by a mother who is mentally retarded, and a father who arguably has a paranoia disorder but is undeniably unreliable. I was abused in all the different classifications as a child. When I was ten, living in a large city, I was put into a state run, large group home type of thing, I would want to say orphanage but, that doesn't seem to be the right word. Sort of a very nice, modern orphanage I guess you could say. Anyway I was put there because of an account of physical abuse reported to the police. When the police arrived at my house they soon sighted that the real problem in my home was neglect, and that morning they took us on a "sort of vacation." Then within about a week I was put back into my parents care. We had social services coming to our home monthly, but I guess they never found a reason to take me and my brother out of my parents care. Years later my grandmother on my mother's side passed away. My mother finally began the process of divorcing my dad shortly after. When she did that they started to further investigate my family, doing tests on the competency of both my parents. This, I believe is when they figured out that my mom had a developmental disability, or when they figured out the extremity. My father was then diagnosed with paranoia disorder. So, in a very hasty court decision made 3 years after my parents were divorced, I had 24 hours to leave my house. But then my cousin stepped in to avoid putting me into foster care. Then I was taken to a girls home. It was not exactly foster care though, it was more a place where parents sent their teenage girls who were getting in to trouble, but, it was neither a therapeutic boarding school or a rehab center either. Anyway I stayed there for 9 months and then I went off therapeutic boarding school in the midwest, where I stayed until the summer after I graduated high school. So I don't know if you can necessarily say that I was a foster child but there you go. I am now in my freshman year in college. I plan on becoming a social worker, but I am struggling a little with motivation to get my everyday work done so I don't know if I am going to stay in school or not. I do think that I will eventually get bachelors degree though. I know though, that even if I don't get that done that I am going to do something useful with my life. I know that I am going to have a job where I will help people. I hope this helps. Sorry for the really, really long post.
-- posted by christyg
» moses88s - Re: Re: Re: Life after Foster Care
In response to Re: Re: Life after Foster Care posted by sam12:I am doing my master thesis on life after foster care.
I am interested are foster kids ready for life after and are they being prepared...
-- posted by moses88s
» deut30doz - Life after foster care/Help
In response to Life after foster care/Help posted by LizHernandez:HELLO!!!! I am in the same situation. m Has anyone responded to you??? I am desperate to win my kids back. I know you may be busy, but will you please respond by email or a call to (916) 665-1462. My name is Mrs Williams.
-- posted by deut30doz
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