Do they really care?
- LaurD
- twjwddd
- ArkyCatfish
- WordCharmer
- dena
- WordCharmer
- The_moose
- 78sweetie22
- Jamishere4
- gayle1010
This archived discussion is "read only".
For the corresponding "live" discussions, post in the active topic forum here.
» LaurD - Child protection laws
I have a serious problem and am wondering what to do about it....I have made several calls to the local department of Child Welfare System and noone will even take a report...The first time I called was when I found out that my 7 year old son was left home alone for over six hours, while his father was gone and his wife decided she was going to go shopping and didn't want to bother taking my son along. I have been divorced from him for two years and we have what is known as joint custody, only I have residential custody and he gets to see our two children, every other weekend. My son came home and told me that he was left alone and was very scared. When I called the Department of Family Services, they told me there was nothing they could do about it~And after that I made four more reports, or should I say I tried, my 9 year old daughter and 7 year old son were left alone on several more occasions, and yet noone would even take a report.
Why?
I also reported that I have witnessed marijunia in the home, laying about with guns and knives, and the Department of Children and Family Services, told me that there was nothing they could do regarding this manner, unless the father was passed out or was giving the drugs to the children...Why?
How am I supposed to protect my children if I am court ordered to send them to their father's every other weekend, and when something happens that I have no control over, and call someone who could help and am turned down time after time?
-- posted by LaurD
» twjwddd - Child Welfare
I would keep trying. There is nothing more important than the safety of your children. I would call a lawyer and try to get suggestions from them on how to handle this if Children's Services will not help. Also if your children would tell someone at the school about their fears and what is going on at the father's house, the counselor may be able to involve Children and Youth and have supervised visitations. I would have a difficult time leaving my children in this situation, but I understand it puts you in contempt of court if you do not follow through with the visitations. The main thing is, trust in your children and listen to what they say. Keep listening and keep following up on this. Good Luck.-- posted by twjwddd
» ArkyCatfish - suggestion
I would try to go through the same court that your divorce was done in. I'm not sure what state you are in, but in some states that is the best option when Children and Family won't get involved. Good luck to you.-- posted by ArkyCatfish
» WordCharmer - Dena
I have a friend in Washington State, whose grandson is being sexually, physically, and emotionally abused and neglected. He is 4. She has called Children's Services, written letters to CPS, Congressmen, attorneys, gone to the police, seen counselors at CPS and NO ONE is doing anything to stop the abuse. They tell her that because the boy told her and she is telling them, it is only heresay! I can't believe that! A 4 year old who is afraid to tell to begin with, decides to confide in his grandmother, and CPS does nothing! She has done everything except kidnapp the child!I have done everything to try to help her find someone in the state of Washington, who will investigate and do something to help this child, but to date, no one has responded. I'm afraid that it will be too late by the time they decide to listen! Then, like the nurse who posted a poem in the contest, another child will suffer needlessly!
I believe there should be an organization of people, like us, who can step in and speak for these children when CPS does nothing. We should be able to demand immediate action! If there are any CPS workers out here listening, what is this woman suppose to do, sit by until the child is harmed further or dies? She has been trying for almost a year! This is not right and it is very frustrating when she has done everything to help this child and gets no where. In the mean time, the little boy lives in a home where there is alledged drug abuse and his mother's boyfriend "visits" him early in the morning. He has alledgedly sodomized this child more than once. The grandmother, my friend, has seen evidence, including bleeding, and the child wearing 2 pair of underwear to "protect" himself.
If anyone out there knows what steps this women can take, please email me with the information.
I am at my wit's end as I'm sure my friend is.
-- posted by WordCharmer
» dena - Susan
So sorry. I just read your message. There are only a few other things that I can suggest and you may have tried them already. Have your friend go up the chain of command with CPS. Call and ask to speak to a supervisor. Doctors, teachers and an entire host of professionals are mandated to report abuse if they are told about it so why is it hearsay coming from a grandparent. Your friend might also try contacting other people who have contact with the child...day care, neighbors anyone who might be willing to come forward as well. I know this is an expensive option, but she should also hire an attorney and look into what rights she could possibly pursue as far as custody. Above all please keep encouraging her not to give up. This little boy needs her and unfortunately, right now she is the only one fighting on his side. Stories like this make me sick. If a thorough investigation was done and it was deemed there was no abuse, then good. It is just so hard to understand how they can refuse to even investigate. Let me know if there is anything else that I can do.Dena
-- posted by dena
» WordCharmer - Book
Hi Dena. Just finished reading: A Caseworker's Story, Turning Stones, My Nights and Days With Children at Risk by Marc ParentWhile reading this book, I cried, I laughed, I got angry. I also gained an understanding of the people who devote their lives to CPS and other
agencies responsible for protecting children. Marc Parent will take you into places you would rather not go, but while he's there, he will open
your eyes to what really matters; each of us doing our part to make a difference in the life of a child, even if just for a moment.
Marc learns a lesson from a childhood memory, when a nun, who had a habit of turning stones over, everywhere she went, told him," I turn a stone, so
that the place is different because I've been there-not to change the world, but so the world doesn't change me."
I know that there are many people who are furious with CPS for not protecting the children who fall through the cracks. Maybe if we could walk a mile in their shoes, we'd see that their job is one of the hardest and stressful. I am not trying to say that all CPS workers are perfect; they're are not. But they are human.
My friend is still trying to rescue her grandson. She has had no help from CPS in the state of Washington. She still writes to her representatives, C.P.S. and anyone else who will listen. Now she's saving to hire a PI and an attorney. She has MS and the stress does not help her disease. This case has gone on for over a year with no action taken by CPS, on the part of this child. If what he told his grandmother is true, he needs help now, not when someone finally decides that she is not a 3rd party. I just don't understand why nothing has been done yet.
My friend is a respectable women whose husband is a veteran, and they have done everything in their power to save this child. It is CPS's responsibility to investigate this matter and protect this child, but they have failed. I just hope that by the time someone listens, he is not dead!
-- posted by WordCharmer
» 78sweetie22 - Re: Child protection laws
In response to message posted by LaurD:I know this would be hard to do, but just give it to God. God handles all of his precious children in his arms. Ask him to guide them each and everyday. Not just on those weekends with their father. Our God will make a way. He is always on time. Keep faith in his words. Praise his name in your time of bad, sad, and goodness.
-- posted by 78sweetie22
» Jamishere4 - Re: Dena
In response to message posted by WordCharmer:I live in WA state and where do you live . I can help in WA state. I work w/ CPS in this state.
email me @ Jamishere4@aol.com
-- posted by Jamishere4
» gayle1010 - Re: Dena
In response to message posted by WordCharmer:Your friend could be me. I am the grandmother of a 3 year old grandson, whom I believe is also being sexually abused. We live in Michigan, our protective services agencies are as useless as those in Washington. They are there to suck the taxpayers dollars and little else. I have some suggestions for your friend, next time she has the child she can take him to an emergency room and have him examined, (we did this with our grandson), tell the ER doctors what he has told her they will file a report with protective services. We did this after our grandson who lives with us and his mom, after he had 2 anal tears. It seems that a doctor carries more weight than someone who knows the child and loves them. Your friend may also want to go to the police and file a report, they can do their own investigations, we did this today after protective services cannot substatiate abuse without a doctors reccommendation. I wish your friend all of the luck, I wish there were people who would get involved and do more for kids, but there isn't
Gayle1010>
-- posted by gayle1010
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