There is No Such Thing as Too Attached
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- dena
- PINTO
- dena
- The_moose
- The_moose
- PINTO
- laurettaali
- dominic20
- dominic20
- hazrud
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» PINTO - BECOMING ATTACHED
THER ATRE SOME FOSTER -PARENTS WHOM DO BECOMETO ATTACHED.I KNOW FROM EXPERIANCE.MY DAUGHTER IS IN FOSTER CARE AT THIS POINT IN TIMEDUE TO AN EMOTIONALPROBLEM SHE HAD.IN ONE OF HER FOSTER HOMES THE FOSTER MOTHER TOLD MY DAUGHTER THAT SHE DIDNT WANT MY DAUGHTER TO COME HOME TOME BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO ADOPT HER.THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL A 9YR OLD OF COURSE MY DAUGHTER THREW A MAJOR FIT AND WAS MOVED TO ANOTHER HOME.BUT YOU CANT SAY SOME FOSTER PARENTS BECOME TO ATTACHED-- posted by PINTO
» dena - I am sure that was upsetting for your daughter and it sounds as
I am sure that was upsetting for your daughter and it sounds as though the foster mother did not have the training that she should have. She should not have told your daughter that she wanted to adopt her unless adoption was part of the long-term plan for your daughter. That really isn't an issue of attachment, but boundaries. I do believe that there is no such thing as "too attached."-- posted by dena
» The_moose - PINTO
Hopefully your still reading theses discussions PINTO because I really want you to realize that that foster mother was way... way out of line to say such a thing to your child. Of course we as foster parents become attached to the children in our care. That's what loving someone does to you. But !!! And this is a BIG "but" You know how the doctor's oath is "first do no harm"? Well, as foster parents our "oath" is the biological parents are always the best placement for the child. IF and only IF that is not possible...for what ever reason, THEN and ONLY THEN, is adoption to be considered. I do hope that that foster parent that you referred to was severely reprimanded for doing such a horrid thing.And I hope that by now you and your child have been reunited and if your child and you are as yet still apart, my hopes and prayers go out to you.
-- posted by The_moose
» PINTO - TO MOOSE.THANKS
THE FOSTER PARENTS DIDNT GET REPRIMANDEDFOR ANY THING.MY DAUGHTER GOT MAD AT THE FOSTER MOM.AND WAS REMOVED FROM THE HOME.NOW SHE IS IN ANOTHER HOME AND SHE IS FINALLY SEEING WHAT AREAL PAIN IT IS,WE SEE EACH OTHER WEEKEND FOR ONE DAY.THIS JUST STARTED LAST WEEKEND.WELFARE WANTS TO EXTEND CUSTODY FOR ANOTHER SIX MONTHS,BUT ITS TIME FOR THEM TO LET HER COMEHOME THEY HAVE HAD HER FOR 1YEAR AND SIX MONTHS.SHE HAS PAID HER TIME FOR HER PROBLEMS SHE KNOWS SHE DID WRONG WHEN SHE ATTACKED ME.WELFARE THINKS ITS ALL MY FAULT.SURE IM AT FAULT IN SOME WAYS.I ADMIT THAT.BUT IM NOT THE ONLY ONE AT FAULT.THEY HAVE TO ALSO LOOK AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FAMILY(FATHER).WHICH IS ACTING LIKEHE IS THE BEST THING FOR THESE KIDS.SEE I ALSO HAVE A SON THAT THEY CAME AND TOOK FROM ME ALSO,JUST BECAUSE I ASKED FOR A WARRANT WHEN THE CASEWORKER BROUGHT A COP TO MY HOUSE.I HAVE FAITH IN GOD THAT THEY WILL SOON SEE THAT IM THE ONE WHO WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THEMNOMATYTER WHAT I HAVE TO BE PUT THROUGH.I LOVE MY KIDS VERY MUCH.THEY DONT NEEDED ANY MORE TIME IN THE SYSTEM THEY NEED TO BE HOME,AND I NEED TO BE A PART OF THEIR LIVES,IF ONLY THEY WOULD GIVE ME A CHANCE TO HELP MY CHILDREN GROWUP AS ITS GOING ILL MISS ALL THE GOOD THINGS...I FEEL SORRY FOR THE MESS MY KIDS ARE IN.BUT THEY REALLY NEED TO LET ME HAVE A CHANCE TO RAISE MY KIDS.I CAN DO THE SAME THAT THEY HAVE DONE!!!!!!!!-- posted by PINTO
» laurettaali - Re: 5 stars for you, Girl! I know you deserve that!
Dena, Dena, Dena! What a little giver you are! Just when I assumed that there aren't any foster parents like you left, you drop from the sky like the angel you are. God bless you, Dena! Your article inspired me. There are people angry with me because they don't know "which side of foster care I will be coming from." This even before they have read my book. I am on the side of right! I am on the side of good foster care people like yourself. I am against the abuse that children suffer. I have that right. I have been there. You are wonderful!-- posted by laurettaali
» dominic20 - my kids where taken
MY SON CRAWED OUT OF HIS CRIB AND FELL DOWN THE STEPS HE LOOKED OK JUST A LITTLE SCRAPE ON HIS CHIN I WASH OFF HIS FACE AND BRING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL AND THE HOSPITAL CALLS CHILD WELFARE AND THEY TAKE ALL FIVE OF MY KIDS CHILD WELFARE SAID MY ONE YEAR OLD SON WAS UNSUPERVIED MY SON DOMINIC IS CALLING THE FOSTER MOM MOM AND MY OTHER SON RICHARD WAS RAPED AND MY DAUGHTER IS SMART AND WAS SKIPED A GRADE NOW SHE IS GETTING LEFT BACK JONATHAN WAS KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE OTHER KIDS WERE MAKING FUN OF HIM BECAUSE HE DONT LIVE AT HOME AND HE TOLD ME THAT THE THE FOSTER MOTHER WANTS TO GIVE HIM A NEEDLE SO SHE COULD GET MORE MONEY ALL I WAS ASKED TO DO WAS TO GO TO PARENTING CLASS AND MY KIDS ARE STILL IN FOSTER CAR I HAD NO PROBLEMS NOW I AM SO ASHAMED-- posted by dominic20
» dominic20 - my kids where taken
MY SON CRAWED OUT OF HIS CRIB AND FELL DOWN THE STEPS HE LOOKED OK JUST A LITTLE SCRAPE ON HIS CHIN I WASH OFF HIS FACE AND BRING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL AND THE HOSPITAL CALLS CHILD WELFARE AND THEY TAKE ALL FIVE OF MY KIDS CHILD WELFARE SAID MY ONE YEAR OLD SON WAS UNSUPERVIED MY SON DOMINIC IS CALLING THE FOSTER MOM MOM AND MY OTHER SON RICHARD WAS RAPED AND MY DAUGHTER IS SMART AND WAS SKIPED A GRADE NOW SHE IS GETTING LEFT BACK JONATHAN WAS KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE OTHER KIDS WERE MAKING FUN OF HIM BECAUSE HE DONT LIVE AT HOME AND HE TOLD ME THAT THE THE FOSTER MOTHER WANTS TO GIVE HIM A NEEDLE SO SHE COULD GET MORE MONEY ALL I WAS ASKED TO DO WAS TO GO TO PARENTING CLASS AND MY KIDS ARE STILL IN FOSTER CAR I HAD NO PROBLEMS NOW I AM SO ASHAMED-- posted by dominic20
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