THE IMPORTANCE OF BONDING WITH YOUR CHILD

» Joy Butler - Bonding

"Those children lacking a secure bond are more likely to be antisocial, withdrawn, hostile and aggressive." This sentence is so very, very interesting. It should drive home the fact that mothers need to invest more time raising their children than pursuing a career, lest our crime rates climb even higher.

Your paragraph on how stress and cortisol levels affect children is tangible evidence that staying home with children is not sheltering them but nurturing them. You also mentioned that children having a strong bond with the mother do better in school. Perhaps it's the reason most homeschoolers are confident, well mannered and score so well on college entrance exams.

Superb article, Mary!!

-- posted by Joy Butler

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» Red - Re: Bonding

In response to message posted by JButler:

Joy,

How in the world did I miss this one? My sincere apologies.

When my daughter worked full time, I watched the boys. I did this from the time that Brandon was 3 months old. Michelle did take a year off when Jordan was born, so the bond between him and I wasn't as strong. However, when Michelle went to part time, Brandon had problems adjusting. His constant and usual caregiver was gone and Mom had replaced her. Of course Brandon also has Asperger's so this made it worse for him.

Then, Michelle went down to two full days a week. The boys got used to having her home. Things changed and now she works 4 hours a day five days a week. The boys had trouble adjusting again. Now their Dad's shift has changed and we will see what happens. I believe a mother's place is in the home, raising the little ones. However, that is not always possible because of financial reasons. I do think that it is better for the children if mothers can stay at home. It gives them security, they have a strong bond and overall, their lives are more stable. It's too bad that society has made it imperative that most mothers work. It would be so much better if all moms could be in the home.

-- posted by Red

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» Joy Butler - Re: Re: Bonding

In response to message posted by Red:

Bold statements in this day and age, Mary, but I have to say I agree with you.

-- posted by Joy Butler

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» Red - Re: Re: Re: Bonding

In response to message posted by JButler:

Joy,

I know a lot of mothers have to work. I was one of them. I was a single parent for 17 years and have always felt guilty because I couldn't be home with Michelle. She was a latch-key kid and learned to cook, clean house and do other chores from the time she was very young. I worked 12 to 15 hours a day. Though she turned out to be a fine woman (even though I wasn't home, there were strict rules that had to be followed) I still feel guilty that she was alone so much. Being an only child, she had to have been lonely much of the time. I do know that it would have been better for me to have been at home. However, many times my parents watched her for me, so she had loving caregivers. Still, it's not quite the same.

-- posted by Red

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