Why Boundaries?
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- mykidzmom
- Jimmy2
- Kaunis
- WornDown
- Bruin8
- docrain
- Bruin8
- docrain
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» mykidzmom - Hi!
Hi! I am not borderline, but I saw the title of your article and had to stop on by. I've been wondering about boundaries... realizing that I need them more and need to help teach my four year old about boundaries.
Your article is very helpful and explains a lot! Thank you! :D
-- posted by mykidzmom
» Jimmy2 - Great article.
Great article. I think the stronger the boundaries are kept between the two individuals the greater the sense of security that can be built in relationship. Respecting boundaries is important.When there are no boundaries, there is "no where to turn" which often causes insecurity in the future. You can use this analogy when raising children or in your life if you are dealing with BPD in any capacity.
Jimmy
-- posted by Jimmy2
» WornDown - Lost it
Only NOW do I realize that I have basically set practically NO boundaries - I have ben practically joined at the hip to my BPSO - result - I AM PRACTICALLY WASTED - especially after she had an affair. I/we are only at the start of a long uphill battle - but I am getting ut of it so as to be independent and regain myself without her infleunce.-- posted by WornDown
» Bruin8 - Can anyone help
My husband is BPD and approx. 2 years ago I tried to set boundries and my husband became somewhat physically abusive. Resulting in me leaving for 4 days, which made the situation worse. He hasn't been physically abusive since then, but the relationship hasn't changed. He recently told me that he doesn't want to change (he doesn't even accept the diagnosis that he has BPD he said the Dr. is nuts himself). So, here I'm stuck again getting more and more lost in the black whole with my husband.Does anyone have any advice? I love him so much, but I feel like I hate him at the same time. I am so lost! I've been going to Mental Health myself for myself and they don't want to see me unless something changes because they have no other advice for me. My husband's Dr. told me I should leave as soon as Possible and that has been two years ago and I'm still with him.
-- posted by Bruin8
» docrain - Re: Can anyone help
Bruin8,I too set boundaries approximately 4 years ago. And she became physically abusive. So I left in order to enforce the boundaries. She had a choice, learn to respect the boundaries or split, and she chose split. She too would never admit to having a problem. Even the children leaving her did not cause her to self evaluate just blame.
I loved her (a still care about her) but I knew if I stayed we would both be wasted, not to mention the kids. By leaving there was a chance of change (which didn't happen), but if I stayed there was no upside.
-- posted by docrain
» Bruin8 - Re: Re: Can anyone help
In response to message posted by docrain:Thank you.
-- posted by Bruin8
» docrain - Re: Re: Re: Can anyone help
Bruin8Actually, Bruin when I finally said enough and tried to leave I did get attacked. Later I found out about "I hate you,don't leave me" since I was not at that point aware of BPD. I was simply upholding boundaries in response to addicitive and other behaviors.
I would not compromise and with the help of witnesses to protect me (being the male it was more legal worries than physical) I left the next day. She never did get help and I ended up living with our 2 children in a single bedroom for almost a year before legal issues got worked out.
-- posted by docrain
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