Acceptance of Paradox is The Epicenter of Recovery

» sunflowerpumpkin - I have boderline personality, I'm 23 years old.

I have borderline personality, I'm 23 years old. I found out in January 2004. That I have this illness.

It was really nice to see an article like that, I love how A J Mahari, describes the paradox of being borderline. It was nice how she didn't excuse it. For making bad choices.

It really made feel good, to read advise like that.

I came back from a home-coming game were I watched my brother play football. While I was there I found some friends in the bleechers that I had in highschool. While I was talking to them. One of my very good old friends made the comment, don't you wish you could go back to highschool? I said no, not really.

Then she asked why, and I told her it was because I didn't go to any dances. I didn't want to tell her that it was because I was miserable and very alone in highschool.

So after that I left the bleachers and found a place to hide, so I could cry and face my pain.

I enjoyed reading the article because I felt like someone understands, a great deal how I feel. And described it really well, and gave advise. It made me feel really good, when I read it.

-- posted by sunflowerpumpkin

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» alanarobyn - Re: I have boderline personality, I'm 23 years old.

In response to I have boderline personality, I'm 23 years old. posted by sunflowerpumpkin:

This article also made me feel a bit better about my disorder and who I am in relation to it. Where she says that you have BPD but it does make up who you are was a better way of thinking of it. I am 33 and I wish I could have been diagnosed earlier in my life. I met someone recently who I love and subsequently hate off and on when I feel I am not having my needs met from them. I have destroyed a great friendship with my behaviour and so I am now trying to choose not to act out anymore. It is hard to do but it will be worth it.
Hang in there, write me back if you need a fellow BPD to talk to.

-- posted by alanarobyn

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» kat_85 - Living and learning Borderline

I'm a 20 year old Canadian girl, learning about this crazy mental illness. I was put in a wheelchair 2 years ago from an auto-immune disease and I am slowly re-learning how to walk in phyysio therapy, but I notice more and more that the patterns and behaviors that are found commonly in persons with BPD are the same things that are becoming a hindrance to my ongoing search for better health and a sence of normalcy. I cannot work, therefore I spend most of my days alone, and then I see my boyfriend for 2 hours before I go back to sleep. I try to take my medications regularly, but I tend to get into the cycle of feeling like I do not need them so I don't take them. I know that it is destructive, but I cannot realize that until after I have already done the damage. My family is trying to support me in their own way, but I am not allowed to see a therapist, so I have to cope with everything on my own in very small amounts which is getting to be slightly frustrating. It's hard not to have the means to understand something that I cannot control. Without a knowledgeable doctor or therapist to follow my case, I have now way of knowing if a certain pattern is typical and unchanging, or if there is a way for me to cope with it. So I become entangled in a series of trial and error of which method to use to cope with which problem, and it simply feels like I am trapped in a vicious cycle. And even then, those baby step seem to get me nowhere. So my question would have to be: What does and individual with BPD do, when found in a situation of little to no supports, to cope effectively while waiting on a long list for a DBT program?

-- posted by kat_85

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» dinkidi - I have boderline personality, I'm 23 years old.

In response to I have boderline personality, I'm 23 years old. posted by all:

This is a good, positive article from AJ about BPD that's very worthy of being opened up again to discussion. I hope AJ is still around given all the changes going on within suite101.

"Not everything about your personhood is about BPD." It's true that you are greater than the sum of your parts...any disability you may have. This is far more than a cliche.

Changing the way we think about ourselves to change the way we act may seem more of a challenge for those with mental health problems. It may be harder to recognise there is a problem needing change in the first place or that things will ever get better.

But a little self analysis does no one any harm. Its what makes the professional know what personal views they should leave at home if it conflicts with work.

What excuse do people without BPD rely on for their behaviour? Where does stigma and discrimination come from? Do people with BPD unfairly benchmark their behaviour to the non-existent ideal person?

Can I suggest you check out 'cognitive behaviour therapy' which comes in a variety of forms and the forms of DBT are included in this. If you are unlucky enough not to have access to a therapist or support group, Kat, this is all about learning coping skills to help you change the way you think about some things...not having to change everything in your life. And you can work on these away from support if really necessary.

Some information about DBT can be found at this Australian website:
http://www.mental-health.com.au/educate/...

I wish you all, all the best.

-- posted by dinkidi

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