It Has to Start Somewhere
- Zanzi
- sabina2671
- sllockard
- sabina2671
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» Zanzi - Great, GREAT article!
It is as though that time between marriages mostly disappears, perhaps because they feel that people obviously know what the dating world is about.Thank you for a great and challenging article! One of my friends dated and then got married as a single mom; it was a precarious situation, since she obviously did not want to introduce a "stepdad" prospect to her daughter until she was totally sure this was the one. My friend understood that if she made the wrong decision, and the child were to build a relationship with a man who later would turn out not to be stepdad material after all, there would be a tremendous sense of loss the child would have to deal with: the loss of the father as well as the loss of the hoped-for stepfather.
Again, thank you for an article that addresses that grey area.
-- posted by Zanzi
» sabina2671 - Re: Great, GREAT article!
In response to message posted by Zanzi:Thank you. I know I just cringe when I hear about people with kids who say they've fallen head over heels for someone. The desire to ask them "what about friendship first?" is usually overwhelming. I know there are probably exceptions out there somewhere, but once you have children, I think it's best to skip the quick romances, and try to stick with more solid relationships that have a better chance at lasting. I have a few gentlemen around that my children know, and I had dated those men. When we stopped dating, these men remained friends with me, and since that relationship remained intact, I saw no reason to hide them from my kids. That is a big reason why I had suggested that a new love interest be introduced initially as "just a friend". I think my kids may have suspected there was something more, but eventually they just accepted those men as "mom's friends", nothing more.
-- posted by sabina2671
» sabina2671 - Try visiting http:
Try visiting http://www.fatherville.com/ but I'm not sure if they have articles on that specific subject. I do know they have forums, where you can communicate with other fathers who have been there. Also, you have a very good chance of finding fathers there who know of resources, and the webmaster of the site has a categorized list of sites as well. I don't think there are specific rules in this, other than remembering that you have to balance your own happiness with the happiness of your kids. I hope this helps you.-- posted by sabina2671
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