Discussing Asperger Syndrome

» mamajill - discussing aspergers with people

We have not even told our child who has Asperger's that she is different. She picks up on this, but has such a mild case that we have decided it is best not to talk to her about it. Family members are a different story. We had to tell my mother and she has difficulty not telling our daughter. Our decisions have angered her and I am afraid she will tell our daughter in spite of our expressed wishes. Our daughter has very little difficulty with transitions, work situations and school situations. She does not understand how to make and keep friends.

-- posted by mamajill

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions

» barbe - Re: discussing aspergers with people

In response to message posted by mamajill:

Hi mamajill:

Nice to meet you. We had to tell our son. Since he was in Kindergarten, he had been extremely unhappy that he was different to the point of suicidal thoughts. Once he found out that he wasn't crazy, just a little eccentric and the reason why he's different, he was a much happier child.

-- posted by barbe

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions

» mamajill - Re: Re: discussing aspergers with people

In response to message posted by barbe:

Our daughter was diagnosed at age 8, but has mild symptoms. She gets upset easily, but she believes it is hormonal (mom does the same). She had trouble in her elementary school because she didn't react the way the other kids did and was ostrasized. The best thing we did for her was get her involved in year round competitive swimming and move her to a different school. She goes to a private, Christian school that includes grades 6-12. Putting her there gave her a wider choice of people to hang out with and she has actually made several friends. She does extremely well academically, in advanced classes in math, and also does well in swimming. She is on a USA swim team and really enjoys it. We haven't told her because she is not affected greatly by the aspergers and we don't want her to use it as an excuse. When she was diagnosed the clinician looked at me and said "I know it's Asperger's, because you have it too." That was a huge shock, but looking back I see evidence that my parents ignored. I do fine, but am very shy with people I don't know.

-- posted by mamajill

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions

» jlhatchett - Re: Re: Re: discussing aspergers with people

In response to message posted by mamajill:
My son Tim is 11 and was diagnosed with Asperger's 2 years ago. He has a twin brother Geoff who does not have AS. There was an ABC news special on 3 boys with AS about a year ago. I downloaded the program from ABC's website and thought I could use it to begin discussing AS with both boys.
The three boys profiled on the program were fascinated by 3 different subject areas. One little boy, just like my son with AS, is interested in trains. The next boy profiled was really into game shows. And the last child was completely consumed by his interest in washers and dryers.
My sons watched the program on my iMac. When it ended, I asked them what they thought about it. Tim, my son with AS, was confused. "I don't understand what it was about," he said to me.
"What do you think?" I asked his non-AS brother. "I'm sure glad that Tim doesn't like dryers," he replied.

-- posted by jlhatchett

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions

» andreajo13 - Re: jlhatchett's message

Hi Jill, I also allowed my twelve year old AS/PDD son to watch the video tape of the same braodcast that my "like a Mom" had kindly recorded for me. I was curious to see if he would relate to the children in the video and his first thoughts were that he was "not as obsessed" as they were and "he felt very sorry for the boy who was teased
and he understood why he got mad". I was encouraged by the show of compassion from my son as compassion is not always part of the egocentric AS package. My son (whom I now homeschool) was teased badly in and out of school being called retard etc. I felt that at least the video showed him that he was not the only one with such problems and he also commented that the "dryer" kid was very smart and knew a lot about dryers. I think that much of the time, AS children tend to not be able to see themselves in relation to others very accurately. Maybe that is a blessing! And, your other son is right, I'm glad my son doesn't like dryers - geography is his thing and I find it way more interesting!

-- posted by andreajo13

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions

» jlhatchett - Re: Re: jlhatchett's message

In response to message posted by andreajo13:

I'm hoping that my son will get to the point where he can recognise himself as an individual with Asperger's. I think part of his difficulty is that he has an identical twin brother and he undoubtably feels that he is "just like his brother." ie, normal
But it is very nice that he doesn't like dryers.

-- posted by jlhatchett

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions

» Edda - Re: Re: Re: discussing aspergers with people

Jill,

I have long suspected I was different from other people. Like your daughter, I did well in school. After some difficulties making friends when I was younger, I was able to make some friends in high school when I went to a private school. For someone with my work ethic, it was an ideal environment. I don't know if I should seek a diagnosis for myself, but the features of Aspergers fit me to some degree. I would classify my case as mild, if I do indeed have it. I have a job I can do well, but I am shy and socially awkward around people I don't know, as you stated you are.

-- posted by Edda

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions

» elliemay36 - Re: discussing aspergers with people

In response to message posted by mamajill:

Hi, I was reading your articles asperger syndrome I wish I could explain it but I can't my son is 11years old we found out last month that he has aspergers syndrome and the school my sons go to has more then its share of bullies his teacher is one I just wanted to say thanks cause even though I don't fully understand about aspergers it helps to read about it so thanks.
ellie

-- posted by elliemay36

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions

» Edda - Re: Re: Re: Re: discussing aspergers with people

I would be very interested in seeing the program about the three boys with AS. I see a lot of their traits in myself. I have special interests considered "odd" by many people. Fortunately, my mother shares my love of learning and accepts me for who I am. These boys sound very smart and knowledgeable about their special interests. My own interests tend toward history, literature, geography, languages, sports (track and figure skating), and cats, especially Siamese and related breeds. I visit an internet site devoted to cats and have made a lot of friends there.

I wish I had seen that show on AS. I can identify with a lot of these boys' struggles.

-- posted by Edda

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions