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Hard to watch...
This archived discussion is "read only".
» worried1 - Hard to watch My best friend is anorexic. She has been this way for the past 7 years...just writing that it has been 7years makes me very sad. It is hard to watch this happen to her. What makes it even worse is that I live in Nova Scotia and she lives in Ontario. I can't believe this has been going on for so long and we are really no further ahead. I feel like I am at a loss, I have no idea how to "fix" her. I have tried many different approaches over the years. I have listened, I have gotten mad, I have threatened our friendship, I have pretended nothing was wrong...nothing has worked. I am afraid she will die. Everytime the phone rings I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach that it is about her. I wait for the call, feeling that there is nothing I can do. Then I get angry. I get angry at her, I get angry at the situation but most of all I get angry at the disease that will eventually rob me of my best friend. The one person in my life that knows me best. It saddens me to picture my life without her. She knows all of this and still does not have the power to stop it. I am a well educated young woman but for the life of me I can not figure this whole thing out. She has attempted to get help at times but for some reason or another things just don't seem to be working for her so she stops going. She can not sit still, she must always be moving doing one thing or another. Cleaning the house always seems to bring her relief. Or another is cooking. She is an excellent cook and really enjoys making food for everyone else except herself. I wish I could take away her pain. I remember the exact moment when I realized she was really ill. It was when I learned that instead of eating chips she was simply licking the flavour off of them. That amazed me. It made me ill.I used to have dreams about us raising our children together...now I fear that it will never happen. I know she wants to have a baby but in all honesty I worry about her getting pregnant. Will she eat enough to nourish the baby? If she doesn't have control now how will she if she is gaining weight? What frustrates me most is the question...where will we be in 5 years? Will she be any better. Will we be able to go out to eat at a restaurant without her stressing about it. She thinks I can't see her stress but I can. I can see the fear in her eyes. She told me about this discussion group so I spent a while reading what other people had written. I need advice on what to do. Do I push her into seeing a psychologist again? I know I have to be there to listen but that gets very frustrating at times. I have read lots of information on the disease but it is still hard to understand how someone can deprive themselves of food...nourishment....life. The other day I was talking to her and she told me that she wasn't feeling well. She said her hands and arm were tingling. I was convinced she was having a heart attack. I don't want her to die. I write this in hopes that she reads this message. I know I have said these things to her over the years but maybe she will realize how worried I really am. I know it will be a long road to get her healthy again...please tell me what I can do to make it a smoother ride. thanks.-- posted by worried1 » assila08 - Re: Hard to watch Dear Worried1,I don't think there's anything harder in life than watching a loved one suffer. I haven't had to sit and watch someone hurt themselves everyday, but I had a lot of people watching me. I have been on my road to recovery for a little over a year, of anorexia. There's no good approach to help your friend. You should check out some clinics, and try getting her registered. Clinics aren't fun, but very helpful. You meet great people and you are on 24 hour care. To me, that's what she needs. It's really the first step into getting better. Every day is a struggle, but when that person has tons of support its not that bad. She is so blessed to have a friend like you in her life. You have been by her side through it all. Your frienddefinitelyy needs to start seeing doctors on a regular basis. It basically sucks doing it, but its what she needs. The only advice I can say is just make sure she always knows that you are there for her. This might be a stretch, but you might want to be by her side. She's going to needsomeoness hand to hold onto in thebeginningg. The first few steps are the hardest, and she will need someone for support. Everyone copes with things differently. Your friend chose starvation, just like I did. I enjoyed torturing myself. I'd make everyone food and constantly serve people. Starvation is a drug. Not eating gets you basically high. When your on that high, you're in your own world. It's aextremelyly harhabitit to break. Beinanorexicic is basically a coping mechanism. Everyone has their story, and uses it for different reasons. Stress, anxiety, fear, anything. I didn't like being in reality, so I ran away from the world. I hope I've helped you. Keep the faith. -- posted by assila08 » tori35 - Re: Re: Hard to watch In response to message posted by assila08:assila08, I am so glad that you are honwst w/ your feelings. My daughter is suffering from anorexia and I thought you may be able to give me some advise. -- posted by tori35 » witch06450 - I am 23 yrs old and have been battling anorexia since I was 15. I am 23 yrs old and have been battling anorexia since I was 15. It started out as an occasional meal skipping but got progressively worse. I feel like I am leading a double life because there is only one person I confide in about what is going on. I don't want my family, friends, or boyfriend to find out because I don't want to burden them with my problems. I started dating my boyfriend a few months ago and he doesn't know what is going on either. I would be ashamed if he found out. I feel like nobody understands how I feel. It is very frustrating thing to feel guilty about eating the slightest bit of food. I just wanted to vent I guess, that's all.-- posted by witch06450
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