A Re-Definition of Agoraphobia
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- Ravenlea
- feistyfemale56
- Zorb
- Ravenlea
- feistyfemale56
- Ravenlea
- Ravenlea
- italgirl1968
- feistyfemale56
- Ravenlea
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» Ravenlea - Re: Re: zorb
In response to message posted by Zorb:Hi Zorb,
You herewith get credit for trying the movies and other things and for all the successes you have: going to the store, getting your kids to the doctor. Those are big accomplishments. Give yourself a pat on the back for pushing past your fear instead of a kick in the pants for having it. The person who most has to give you credit is yourself. If you can commit yourself to praising yourself for every brave deed you do instead of condemning yourself for your fears, your life will change. Not overnight, but it will change. And your children's lives will change with it because they will feel the difference in you.
Many Blessings,
-- posted by Ravenlea
» feistyfemale56 - What a group!
You ladies come up with such good ideas, and the exchange of feelings and ideas is amazing!Cornish hens is a good idea, thank you.
And Zorb, the grocery store became my first triumph, too. Yes, to millions of other people, going to the grocery store is taken for granted. Only a select few of us can appreciate what kind of effort that is, what kind of victory that is.
Traffic is an overwhelming issue for me, too, Zorb. All those vehicles, all those lanes, all the speed...too much stimuli for my mind to handle at once...and this is sometimes as merely the passenger.
Tracy, I am sorry to hear about your boyfriend; we all know it's his loss. But that doesn't help you right now. Just know I can relate to how it can feel from first hand experience.
Take care.
Deb
-- posted by feistyfemale56
» Zorb - Re: What a group!
may I suggest something... and if it's a lame idea it's alright to say so... but could we have a discussion group just for general chatting? I ask this only because I feel somewhat guilty for keeping this discussion group going so long and going off the subject of the actual topic... could we call it "general chat" or something obvious but creative?
maybe?? I hate to say this but... I know I don't give myself enough credit for what I can do... and I know my children do need me... deep down I know it... but when I try so hard to make it doctor appointments and I am so proud of getting in the door only to be scolded for being late... it gets a little hard to feel good about getting there at all... and so goes my story... I don't want to sound like I'm mad about it... I am... but I don't want it sound that way... maybe I should have brought my doctors chocolate!
sorry Tracy... I must have missed something when I was reading... my mind doesn't work as well as it used to... when I was younger... and full of chocolate...
later...
-- posted by Zorb
» Ravenlea - Re: Re: What a group!
In response to message posted by Zorb:Hi!
I think starting a new post is a fine idea.
As for giving yourself credit. It's an on-going process of reclaiming your own power. Most of us who didn't get what we needed from our parents spend a good part of our lives looking to have that need filled from those around us. Everyone we meet becomes a scolding parent and if they are even minimally nice to us we slurp it up like starving animals.
I think there's something else which you might want to think about. I know that I often perceive criticism where none is being offered and it I hear the things people say filtered through the lens of our own self judgement. Like you, I'm inclined to hear "you're late" as "you're bad and useless." Other people hear the same words and because they have no self-judgement, it bounces off them. "Oh, yeah, sorry. Stuck in traffic." Or whatever. Wouldn't bother them a bit because they hear it from a different emotional place. When you start out feeling wrong, as most shame-based people do, then even "hello" can feel like an attack. It takes time and a lot of effort to shift this stuff but it can and will happen. It may not be fair but it has to start from inside. We have to become our own parents because the ones we were born to didn't have the capacity to do the job right even if they had good intentions as my parents did.
Maybe you could experiment with visualizing the nurses and doctors in their underwear as someone suggested to me recently about the landlord. I personally prefer seeing them with big clown noses and floppy shoes....
Anyway, just something to ponder.
Whichever one of us starts the new topic, why not call it "Sharing." Thanks for the suggestion. I think it's a good one.
Many Blessings.
-- posted by Ravenlea
» feistyfemale56 - Could use your input
I could use the help of a few good friends right now, and can't think of a better group of people than our little group here. I have submitted my first article for a new topic for Suite101...topic name is "I May Be Old, But I'm Not Dead."I'm sure it's not a topic that everyone can get into, and that's to be expected. But if any of you are at all interested, please read the first article and let me know what you think.
Here's hoping the holiday was a pleasant one for each of you. I cooked a whole turkey here and called the kids several times; all in all, not a bad day at all.
Take care.
Deb
-- posted by feistyfemale56
» Ravenlea - Re: Could use your input
In response to message posted by feistyfemale56:CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Wonderful. You forgot to leave us a link, though. I'll see if I can find it on my own but a link makes it easier and easier is always good. Actually I did a search and didn't get a result, so I NEED the link.
Congrats again on your first article. Looking forward to reading it.
Many Blessings,
-- posted by Ravenlea
» Ravenlea - Re: Could use your input
In response to message posted by feistyfemale56:Just occurred to me. When you posted your topic did you remember to change the date at the top? It's set for a month ahead so you don't accidentally post before you're ready.
Looking forward to reading.
Many Blessings,
Kathrine
-- posted by Ravenlea
» italgirl1968 - i want to read your article fiesty - can't find it!!:)
Hi all,I can't find your article fiesty!!! Where can i find it!! - Tracy
-- posted by italgirl1968
» feistyfemale56 - I was premature
Ladies,Thank you for your interest! I was a bit too early to say anything, as I have to wait for Suite101 to okay my first article. As soon as it's ready, I will put in a link. You're right, Katherine, easy is best. : )
I am still having a difficult time maneuvering the site here, so your input is invaluable to me, as whatever you folks have to say is.
Take care.
Deb
-- posted by feistyfemale56
» Ravenlea - Re: I was premature
In response to message posted by feistyfemale56:Hi Deb,
Just so you are prepared, it took a LONG, LONG, LONG time (I was ready to give up Long) for Suite101.com to approve my column. They have changed ownership since then and there have been a number of staff changes as well, so it may be faster, but in case it seems to take forever, don't be discouraged. They made it sound like a done deal very quickly and then it took months and months after that.
Anyway, I'm still looking forward to your column and once you are up and running I'll be glad to give any advice I can about logistics.
Many Blessings,
-- posted by Ravenlea
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