Concerns of older woman
- jmacdow
- uniquesitch
- uniquesitch
- onlychobbs
- onlychobbs
- jazzed
- stlgrl261
This archived discussion is "read only".
» jmacdow - what if.....
Im a recently divorced 34 yr old involved with a man 10 years my junior. I feel absolutely wonderful with him and we seem to fit so well together. However Im worried. What concerns me the most is life goals and how they may chnge over time. Id love to have children as would he, but Im not sure his idea of 'one day' is the same as mine. I dont have 5 years to wait for children. He knows this but doesnt see it as a problem. And then there are other things. He likes that Im very active and mobile, but if I have a child this would change. How do couples overcome being in 'different' places in their lives?Incidently my mom has been married to a younger man (20 yrs) for the past 11 years. She is now beginning to feel the effects of their age difference (esp. in terms of looks and 'slowing down').
Any comments would be welcomed.
-- posted by jmacdow
» uniquesitch - Going with a woman 20 years older than me
Hi all! I have been going out with a woman who is 20 years older than I. We started out quite quickly, major chemistry, very attracted to each other and awesome s$x. We look great together and everyone thinks she is at least 10-15 years younger than she is, in fact its a family thing, her whole family is very young looking, her parents who are in their mid 80's look like they are barely pushing 60 and they are very active. Oh, she also has a son who is a week younger than me.... sounds like a match made in heaven doesnt it.Well, the reason I am writing to this site for some advice from others as well as some who are in this type orealtionshipip is that we are starting to feel quite serious about each other.
I am confused, if the age diff wasnt there I would probably have no problem marrying this woman. Help!
-- posted by uniquesitch
» uniquesitch - Re: what if.....
In response to message posted by jmacdow:Hi, sorry I replied to your post by accident, I would like to chat about our situations though. I you want I'll give you my email address...
-- posted by uniquesitch
» onlychobbs - Re: Going with a woman 20 years older than me
In response to Going with a woman 20 years older than me posted by uniquesitch:hey all this looks rosey now but think of 10 yrs down the line and probably she would require lenses to even recognize you and then theres allways the sex drive which goes down rapidly and you'll soon realize that ! mate you should look deeply at your options and then realize it could be a life threatennig situation for you.....
-- posted by onlychobbs
» onlychobbs - Re: what if.....
In response to what if..... posted by jmacdow:hiiiiiiiii three cheers to your dream!!!!!!!!! i say a dream because it would soon show you where you actually are in real life.there are a hoard of problems which you kinda skipped when you told us about your relationship ,because 5 yrs down the line you'll get menopause but he'll reach his sexual prime that might deprive him of the pleasure he longs for , or it might deprive you of the peace you deserve
-- posted by onlychobbs
» jazzed - Re: what if.....
In response to what if..... posted by jmacdow:I've been married for nearly 25 yrs to a woman 15 yrs older. There is nothing about our relationship that isn't far better than I could have ever imagined. I'm now 47 and she is 62. We recently moved from SoCal to rural Oklahoma where I grew up. Most of the people my age who married women my age--their wives don't look any better than mine and in most cases, look ten years worse!
Now granted, I happened upon an awesome woman who still looks younger than I do (that's just wrong, in a right sort of way). I know that's not the norm. She's active, vivacious and beautiful in and out. We adopted an infant child, soon to be 8 yrs old and he is an absolute joy.
I suggest you forget about your respective ages and look closely at your life's goals and dreams and see if they mesh. What are your compatibilities relative to whether you want children, religion, career goals, financial goals, etc. How do you handle the crap life WILL dish out? There are no guarantees at any age. If you treat her right, she'll likely be a beautiful woman at any age. If you treat her wrong, she'll turn ugly before you get back from your honeymoon.
If you make the commitment, then make the commitment right. It will be an on-going decision. For me, any woman in the world would be a down-grade from the one I married. I've given our son the best mommy on the planet. I've retained for myself the best friend and lover available anywhere. How sad if I'd missed out on all that because of something as insignificant as a birthdate. Forget about the age. Is she the right woman? That's the question.
-- posted by jazzed
» stlgrl261 - Re: Re: what if.....
JazzedI want to thank you for your post. I am currently in a new relationship with a man 15 years my junior. I'm 36 he's 21 (will be 22 in 3 mos). I've had my doubts as to whether or not I can handle the relationship. He feels that its no ones business how old either one of us are, as long as we ourselves are happy with one another.
Your post (from the male point of view) totally helped me see that as long as we have love, and we look at our relationship as man and woman and not as younger man and older woman, we'll be okay.
To know that you met your wife at 22 and have been together for 25 years is awesome. You are definitely someone I would like to periodically talk to when I have questions.
-- posted by stlgrl261
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