Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder

» wolfwords - Diagnosing RAD

I applaud Susan's effort to produce a simple overview of RAD, a diagnosis which is both complex and controversial. I particularly appreciate her mention of the varying degrees of attachment disorder. The outdated belief that a child either can or can't attach is a problem. A child who is aloof and uncaring, and who is extremely aggressive and doing high end stuff like fire setting and animal abuse, may be looked at for attachment disorder. But children who cling to their parents, have "accidents" or "don't know any better," and whose "meltdowns" are reportedly biologically uncontrollable, are too often misdiagnosed. Attachment disorders, found in four subtypes of varying degrees of severity, often initially look like other serious emotional disorders (and vice versa), such as ODD, ADHD, PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, and autism. Having experienced thousands of hours in a living situation with dozens of children who have attachment disorders, I find that the one trait which separates them from children with other serious emotional disorders is their pervasive, often insidious, need to control. Unfortunately, they are so good at it, that many adults have no idea they are being controlled (or, to what extent). It is particularly difficult for someone not living with a child who has an attachment disorder to detect the controlling tone with which they approach every waking moment. Not surprisingly, therapeutic interventions which arrest the child's ability and need to control are most successful. The links Susan provides on her article page are very comprehensive. For more information on this discussion topic, follow Susan's link, RAD and Related Issues, to Attachment Center at Evergreen, Articles and Studies. Thanks, Susan!

-- posted by wolfwords

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions

» smw_heritage - The insidiousness of it!

In response to message posted by wolfwords:

Thanks for your kind words, Jillian! As I read your comments, I was struck by your word "insidious" which is a word I use a lot when I think of Hannah's RAD behavior. It's subtle, but its there all the time...

When you talked about children with RAD and their need to control, one of Hannah's favorite insidious, controlling behaviors came to mind...entering and exiting doors and proceeding up and down stairs, all very, very slowly when I'm behind her. A non-RAD parent, or a friend, or an extended family member would not realize how controlling this is. And when you let your child know how annoying it is, they've won! Because that's their goal, to control and annoy.

Through dealing with Hannah's RAD, I've learned a lot about parenting, attachment, bonding, trust, Hannah, and myself. It's a long, hard road, but I'm very thankful to have found this RAD road, after much searching, misdiagnosis, lack of support, and loss of friends.

-- posted by smw_heritage

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions

» Carry - Reactive Attachment Support On line

hi ya!
There is a great web site as well as online support group for those of us that need all the help we can get on this.

http://www.geocities.com/mykidisrad/inde...

See ya there! It sure has helped me!

Carry

-- posted by Carry

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions

» wolfwords - Re: Reactive Attachment Support On line

In response to message posted by Carry:

By in large, I was impressed with the supportive information provided on this site. I particularly liked the scrolling quote: "The mark of a good parent is being relentlessly persistant in the face of relentless provocation, while maintaining a sense of lightness, grace and humor." Though of course, "good" parents cannot keep this up continually--I don't believe it's humanly possible--their valiant efforts are to be applauded. I was also pleased to read in "Did you talk to me or my child today.." that more and more we are seeing adoption agencies out there who can look beyond their place in "the system" as merchandisers unloading an overage of inventory to providing post-adoption support and services to the families they help create. In Western North Carolina, we are fortunate enough to have at least one which actively provides for the needs of these children in foster care. Disrupted placements make children with attachment problems sicker. I was not pleased to see all attachments therapists who utilize "holding therapy" referred to as "new age gurus" however. According to Alicia, awesome mom and author of the site, they were told that with a two-week intensive their son, Liam, could recover from RAD completely. It certainly sounds in this case as though they were working with the clinical equivalent of a roadside zoo. The attachment therapists I have encountered, however, are the first to tell you that RAD therapy is a long hard road requiring the individualized use of a wide range of therapuetic modalities, sometimes including nurturing holds. Unfortunately, the myth that holding therapy is a "quick fix" is as prevalent as the myth that all children with RAD will grow up to be Charles Manson without it. I do believe, though, that in many cases holding therapy helps move things along, and I'm all for that. The parents of these children, as Liam's dad, Josh, so apptly describes on his page, are living with domestic violence. How long can parents allow that kind of abuse and turmoil to overshadow their lives? It's a fair question, given the number of disrupted adoptions RAD causes, and it should be considered when making therapeutic choices. "First do no harm." Then get help as quickly as possible.

-- posted by wolfwords

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion Join the latest discussions